Remembering you, L.

A few days ago, I had picked up my phone in boredom and began flipping through my contacts. Then I saw your name. I had never gotten round to deleting it. Each time I tried, I always felt as though if I deleted it, it would be like deleting the only connection I had to you; the only reminder that I once knew you! I didn’t have your picture anywhere. Not in my album, not in my phone. When I try now sometimes to recall your face, it’s almost as if I can’t remember how you looked.

As I gazed at ur number, I felt this odd compulsion to dial it. I knew in my heart that you wont be at the other end to answer it but I hoped…i just hoped that I would a hear a voice answer “hello” and it would be you. Needless to say, I didn’t hear any voice but it didn’t stop the memories from coming back.

The first time we met, I think it was in an examination hall during my Final year exams. It was Mr. B’s course and he had invited you guys to help invigilate the exam. You were in a different department, i don’t remember what course it was you offered now but I know it was in College of social sciences; same college I was in.

As usual I had written that exam the way I did my other courses. Concentrating on my paper, determined to make an ‘A’ despite the distracting “Princess! Princess!! No. 1?!” that echoed from the mouths of some of my course mates.
On several occasions, I caught you staring at me and I wondered if you suspected I had some ‘Mgbo’(Bullets-local lingo for expo in school) on me and was trying hard to catch me at cheating. I remember thinking then “Stare all you want mister, you wont see nothing!”

Anyway, days after that exam. I learnt from my friend, Ify that you were interested in me. The both of you were friendly and you had confided in her and asked her to tell me too. Later on you would walk up to me, introduce yourself and we would become friends.

I knew what you wanted from day 1. You always said it anytime you got the opportunity. You didn’t only want a relationship; you wanted it to lead to marriage. I liked you but not in the way you wanted. I was in a relationship then but it wasn’t because of that. I just didn’t feel for you like that! I told you how I felt too but you wouldn’t have any of it. You never gave up thinking that one day, if you tried REALLY hard, I would fall in love with you.

I left school. You did too. I came back to Lagos. You left for Abuja but it didn’t stop you from keeping in touch. You called regularly, enquiring about everything going on in my life. Whenever you were in Lagos, you would come to visit me at work. I was doing my youth service then and you would come, sit down in my office and watch me while I worked. You didn’t talk much…you never was a talker anyway! I would glance up to look at you in between work and wonder what was going on in your mind…If you still believed we would end up as husband and wife.

You were also a very giving person. I remember once you had come to visit me. Was it my birthday or what?? Now I really can’t remember. You had bought something for me. It was a trouser suit. Nice trouser suit but not my style. It was one of those suits that tapered thin down the legs. I didn’t wear trouser suits like that. It was also a size bigger than I was. I couldn’t tell you that though I appreciated the gesture, I would never wear the suit. Somehow, you deciphered what I was thinking from my face and you asked me if I would wear it. I had never been a good at hiding my feelings and I couldn’t lie about it so I told you it wasn’t my size and style. You had smiled graciously and said it was okay if I didn’t take it and you would give it to your sister. I was relieved you had not taken it negatively.

Then I started planning a trip to Abuja and you had told me not to worry about accommodation as you would provide a place for me to stay when I came. We had spoken a week before my scheduled trip and you had assured me you were handling things.
You can’t possibly imagine the shock I felt when days later I got that call from Jimmy. He had given it to me straight without trying to sweeten the news:
“Princess, L anwuola!” (Princess, L is dead!).
“It’s a Lie!!!” I shouted in shock. “What happened??”
He went on to tell me his own version of what happened.
You had travelled to Enugu with your elder brother who was a politician. You went cruising in his jeep round the streets of Enugu. You were attacked by armed robbers and they shot you. They ended the promising life of a young man. Some people said they were assassins sent to kill your elder brother and they got you instead. Whatever their reasons were, we may likely never find out but the glaring truth is that you were no more. Never again would I hear your voice and see your face in this life.

I cried, I cried. If tears could raise the dead, surely you would have risen but alas you were gone, never to return. I didn’t go for your burial but I mourned you my own way.

I don’t know where you are or what you are doing right now but I hope and pray that you are resting in the lord’s bosom and that someday we would meet again.

Rest in Peace L.

UPDATE

L's death is not recent. It's been over two years since he departed this life. Am not grieving anymore, just remembering. Thanks for all your condolences.