Friday, October 19, 2007

Remembering you, L.


A few days ago, I had picked up my phone in boredom and began flipping through my contacts. Then I saw your name. I had never gotten round to deleting it. Each time I tried, I always felt as though if I deleted it, it would be like deleting the only connection I had to you; the only reminder that I once knew you! I didn’t have your picture anywhere. Not in my album, not in my phone. When I try now sometimes to recall your face, it’s almost as if I can’t remember how you looked.

As I gazed at ur number, I felt this odd compulsion to dial it. I knew in my heart that you wont be at the other end to answer it but I hoped…i just hoped that I would a hear a voice answer “hello” and it would be you. Needless to say, I didn’t hear any voice but it didn’t stop the memories from coming back.

The first time we met, I think it was in an examination hall during my Final year exams. It was Mr. B’s course and he had invited you guys to help invigilate the exam. You were in a different department, i don’t remember what course it was you offered now but I know it was in College of social sciences; same college I was in.

As usual I had written that exam the way I did my other courses. Concentrating on my paper, determined to make an ‘A’ despite the distracting “Princess! Princess!! No. 1?!” that echoed from the mouths of some of my course mates.
On several occasions, I caught you staring at me and I wondered if you suspected I had some ‘Mgbo’(Bullets-local lingo for expo in school) on me and was trying hard to catch me at cheating. I remember thinking then “Stare all you want mister, you wont see nothing!”

Anyway, days after that exam. I learnt from my friend, Ify that you were interested in me. The both of you were friendly and you had confided in her and asked her to tell me too. Later on you would walk up to me, introduce yourself and we would become friends.

I knew what you wanted from day 1. You always said it anytime you got the opportunity. You didn’t only want a relationship; you wanted it to lead to marriage. I liked you but not in the way you wanted. I was in a relationship then but it wasn’t because of that. I just didn’t feel for you like that! I told you how I felt too but you wouldn’t have any of it. You never gave up thinking that one day, if you tried REALLY hard, I would fall in love with you.

I left school. You did too. I came back to Lagos. You left for Abuja but it didn’t stop you from keeping in touch. You called regularly, enquiring about everything going on in my life. Whenever you were in Lagos, you would come to visit me at work. I was doing my youth service then and you would come, sit down in my office and watch me while I worked. You didn’t talk much…you never was a talker anyway! I would glance up to look at you in between work and wonder what was going on in your mind…If you still believed we would end up as husband and wife.

You were also a very giving person. I remember once you had come to visit me. Was it my birthday or what?? Now I really can’t remember. You had bought something for me. It was a trouser suit. Nice trouser suit but not my style. It was one of those suits that tapered thin down the legs. I didn’t wear trouser suits like that. It was also a size bigger than I was. I couldn’t tell you that though I appreciated the gesture, I would never wear the suit. Somehow, you deciphered what I was thinking from my face and you asked me if I would wear it. I had never been a good at hiding my feelings and I couldn’t lie about it so I told you it wasn’t my size and style. You had smiled graciously and said it was okay if I didn’t take it and you would give it to your sister. I was relieved you had not taken it negatively.

Then I started planning a trip to Abuja and you had told me not to worry about accommodation as you would provide a place for me to stay when I came. We had spoken a week before my scheduled trip and you had assured me you were handling things.
You can’t possibly imagine the shock I felt when days later I got that call from Jimmy. He had given it to me straight without trying to sweeten the news:
“Princess, L anwuola!” (Princess, L is dead!).
“It’s a Lie!!!” I shouted in shock. “What happened??”
He went on to tell me his own version of what happened.
You had travelled to Enugu with your elder brother who was a politician. You went cruising in his jeep round the streets of Enugu. You were attacked by armed robbers and they shot you. They ended the promising life of a young man. Some people said they were assassins sent to kill your elder brother and they got you instead. Whatever their reasons were, we may likely never find out but the glaring truth is that you were no more. Never again would I hear your voice and see your face in this life.

I cried, I cried. If tears could raise the dead, surely you would have risen but alas you were gone, never to return. I didn’t go for your burial but I mourned you my own way.

I don’t know where you are or what you are doing right now but I hope and pray that you are resting in the lord’s bosom and that someday we would meet again.

Rest in Peace L.
UPDATE
L's death is not recent. It's been over two years since he departed this life. Am not grieving anymore, just remembering. Thanks for all your condolences.

50 comments:

LittleGirlLost said...

As long as you continue to remember L will never leave you.
RIP.

princesa said...

@littlegirllost, do we ever forget our friends even when they are gone???

Zephi said...

that sad...oh the swiftness of life!!1

Olamild said...

ahwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
so sad
I pray to God I never lose any loved one... ever again

I feel 4 u.
L, I don't know u at all
but from princess's story
U were a good guy
i miss u on your friend and family's behalf

Queen of My Castle said...

I know that there is not much that can be said to console you, but I pray that you grieve healthily and allow God to comfort you during this time.

Love ya hun

Aijay said...

Very sad... Uwa nka sef.
May his soul rip.

Omosewa said...

**hug**

acainto said...

So touching...I pray you continue to find God's comfort over the loss...and I pray God changes the hearts of Nigerians so that life becomes something valued deeply over there.

classybabe said...

That's sad.May he Rest in peace

Friend of God said...

You are an excellent writer. Really got me into that story.
Praise God for your mum. He never fails us.

Andy said...

Awwwww...sniffs, sniffs. Really touching tale! OMG, they guy chased you but your IGG lasted all the while. At least you still liked him a bit sha!

Writefreak said...

Wow...i don't know what to say , other than i'm so sorry for your loss!

Arewa said...

AWWWWW!!I got this from a friend when my dad passed away..it brought me some comfort.. i hope that it does the same for u x{hugs}

God Looked down from the Heavens, And the clouds began to roll. He said, "Now it is time For Me to call this soul".
And so He sweetly called Your loved one's name out loud, And said, "Come unto me", Then rolled back the clouds. Sometimes the voice of God is hard to understand, When it interrupts our lives And reveals a difficult plan. Even in the midst Of sudden storm, The voice of God will comfort And miraculously perform. It will speak unto your heart And create a peace within, That will clam and keep you And shield against the wind. God is speaking from the heavens; " Just look unto the hills. I may have called precious one, But their spirit is with you still"

May his soul rest in perfect peace.

Mrs Somebody said...

I'm fighting back tears as I write.May his soul rest in peace.I'm so sorry about the loss of your friend.
We need to show Love as much as we can while on earth.
*p.s.....How 'bout dat guy?*

Ugo Daniels said...

"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there will be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away"

...nuff said

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

My sista, so sorry! He is in a better place. Take heart. Be strong.

cinnamonqueen said...

He's your guardian angel now watching over you.

diary of a G said...

"They ended the promising life of a young man" - so sorry about p
RIP l

30+ said...

*sighs deeply*

Princessa, ndo, pele

princesa said...

@zephi, thats why we should all live life the best way we can. Its too short!

@olamild, we never want to lose our loved ones but death is inevitable dear.

@Thanks babes.L's death is not recent though so am not grieving just remembering.

@aijay, Amen.

@omosewa, *hug back*:)

@acainto,classybabe, i say amen to ur prayer.

@friend of God, Thanks. God is faithful always.

@andy, lol! Someone saw some humour in this post finally!L was very likable.

princesa said...

@writefreak, that's enough said dear.

@arewa,thanks sweet!That piece was really comforting. Thanks.
Am sorry about ur dad too.

@mrs somebody, oh dear! Do u need my handkie? We really need to show love the much we can cos thats what we will be rememebered for by those we care about.

@Ugo, nuff said abi? That quote...i think its supposed to be after the rapture.

@solomonsydelle, thanks. I pray he is.

@cinnamonqueen, hmmm...i must have a lot of guardian angels by now! BTW,where have you been? Welcome back.

@DOG,30+, thanks.

NikkiSab said...

RIP !! Na so i de mourn my friend o!!! wetin de happen?

princesa said...

@nikkisab,wetin do your friend?? May your friend's soul rest in peace too.

Sparkle said...

I got an email from my 'used'to'be'best'friend' in Nigeria...last friday...asking me for help financially...I was still thinking of what to do, when I heard from her brother on Saturday that she got hit by a bus and she died...I was shocked, I still am...


take heart...I hope he's in a better place

princesa said...

@sparkle, WTF?!?!
It must have been really shocking for you!!
This life...fleeting!

Afrobabe said...

Bloody hell,25 comments? I must have been really missing in action..ok let me have a read first.

Afrobabe said...

awwww I was only just begining to laugh at the "bullets" Only to get to such a sad ending....

So this chic, you did bullets in school bah..kai...anyway at least they were whispering pricesa in the exam hall, I was usually the one whispering someone's name...lol...

I am sure your friend is at peace love.

AN IBO DUDE'S CORNER said...

Rest in peace Dude
Someone really misses you

How r u doing girl
sorry about the mix-up last weekend

someother time maybe...

take care

LurLar said...

RIP L....Remembering d precious pple in our lives really helps keep their memories alive.

confused child said...

Oh dear ur such an awesome writer. just came across ur blog n am bout 2 go read all ur post.
RIP L.

Jaybabe said...

Aaggg shammms! Mxem!, come here **hugs** it'll be fine hey?
The more you keep on remembering, slowly and slowly, he'll go.May his soul R.I.P

Ooops! 1st time here. Am i welcome?

Mommy said...

Ohwwnnn! May his soul rest in peace. You know Princesa, five years, ten years, two years...it's just hard to forget someone you loose, no matter how long the person's been gone for. Cheers babes!

Ejura said...

Here today, gone tomorrow...{sigh}
How you dey gurl? Hope you had an amazing sallah break. There's another one ahead you know. Takia!

princesa said...

@afrobabe, girl you sure have been MIA!I almost put out a search party.
I think you didnt quite get my gist dear, i never carried bullets(expo) o! I meant L probably thot i had something on me the way he was staring...you get??

@anibodude, no wahala. We go still do am some other time...you aint off the hook o!

@lurlar, yea it does. They live on in our hearts.

@confused child, thanks babe. Am blushing here. Go on read and comment o!
BTW, wetin dey confuse you??

@jaybabe, thanks for the hug dear. You are very welcome.

@mommy that's true. Thanks.
I ope you don update o!

princesa said...

@ejura, you mean another sallah holiday soon?? I cant wait!

Isi said...

sad! hope u are good?

Afrobabe said...

You sure say you no carry, this kind vehement denial...

Ok,Ok I no you are a sharp girl...lol...keep your fangs down.

cally-waffybabe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
30+ said...

I don update o

NIGERIA POLITRICKS said...

Wow! Very touching...your story got me misty eyed. It's sad to see a promising young life wasted for no just cause...Very emotional post!

Nyemoni said...

Even though it happened years ago, I bet it still hurts like it happened today...I too have lost some close friends and family and still grieve when I remember...How touching! may the soul of L RIP....Thanks for checking up on me and I have updated!

Nyemoni said...

I also celebrate your Mum's successful surgery with you! I thank God o!!!!!

princesa said...

@isi, I am good, thanks.

@afrobabe, lol! You no serious. Sharp babe like me o...no try!

@cally, Eh ya! Sorry about ur friend. her soul is definitely resting in peace dear, dont be sad.

@30+, Hurray!! I dey come.

@nigeria politricks, wasted is the word! Really painful.

@nyemoni, it doesnt hurt so much when you focus on the fact that he is in a much better place. Thanks for rejoicing with me on Mum. Will holla soon.

Teediva said...

thank God for ur mom. been MIA too o. and your friend is resting from the travails of this world now.

Aijay said...

See this Princesa... no update and u dare to tell me to update. Kpa cha kwa anyi gi o. Lol. Hope u're good.

Orientatednaijababe said...

Sorry i'm late.....May his soul rest in perfect peace. How r u doing.....esp ur mum, how is she??

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

Good to know that you are strong. Just checking in on ya!

princesa said...

@teediva,thanks.
@aijay, lol!update coming soon...

@ONB,mum is okay,thanks. How are you?
@solomunsydelle, thanks for checking in on me.

Allied said...

Eya! Sorry! I also still have my cousin's number on my phone. She passed a year ago.

unshined congo said...

i really feel kinda sad right now cos something like this happened some few yrs back. may his soul RIP.