Friday, June 27, 2008

Da Predator- a poem in 3 acts!

Hey guys!
How is your week coming? Hope great!
I stole this post off Obi's blog. T’was really interesting and I just had to post it here for you all to read. Babes hope you learn something from it and like solomonsydelle said in one of her old posts, BEWARE OF THE WOLVES! They come in different guises, most often looking all harmless when in truth they are actually PREDATORS.
And guys, protect your babes from the predator. Give her all the love she needs so she doesn’t fall into the trap of that sweet talker.


Da Predator- a poem in 3 acts!

Act 1: Stake-out
I observed you from afar, even though I knew you were taken,
I heard your man throws a good dick, and brings home the bacon.
But when I looked deeply I could see emptiness in your eye,
That's when I knew I could step and get my slice of the pie.
See, I knew my game had to be shit legit,
Else you could just hit me with that “see you in the next lifetime” bullshit!
Naaah…so now I step back to methodically plan my shit,
You're about to become the victim of a cold calculated hit.

See, I knew in some particular area your man had to be slippin'
If only I could find out where, I could exploit it and make you start trippin'.
I proceeded to introduce myself, and explain how lucky your man must be,
To have here on Earth, a girl of your heavenly beauty…
You smiled and looked away, well in fact you blushed,
That's when I knew I was making progress. But hey, no need to rush.
I said good-bye and walked away confident that the foundation was laid....
Knowing it was only a matter of time before I would be “getting paid”.

Act 2: Closing in
The next day I saw you, yeah you were waiting for the bus.
And though I kept my composure, I was overcome by lust.
I told you I was going your direction, and offered you a ride.
You got in, now I'm one step closer to moving your man aside.
We conversed a little and I found out what area this brother had failed,
Though he may take care of business, he doesn't pay attention to details.
He never seems to notice when you get your hair, face or nails done,
His mind is focused on business, and he seldom has time for fun.
Though you're an angel, for you he never makes a fuss,
So, I stepped up to the plate and told you “Baby please, you're gorgeous!”
Starving for the attention of course you gave up the digits,
Now it was only a matter of time that to my will, you would submit.
You gave up the number, saying we could only be friends…Lovers?..NEVER!!!
I thought, “How naive...yeah baby...whatever!”
I said, “Honey please, as gorgeous as you are I'm honored just to know your name”
Hence the beginning of the game!

Whenever you needed to talk,
I was there to hold your hand as we walked.
When you would cry I would be there to dry your eyes.
Whenever you were down, I built you a crown!

Whenever we were together I made sure the time spent was a blast,
I made you close your eyes and took away all the horrors of the past.
I promised to take your troubles away as I placed a pedestal under your feet,
But the fact of the matter is...I'm just a dealer of deceit!
Soon she came to see me as one of the nicest men she's met.
And...Of course, I saw her as just some girl I haven't fucked yet!

So I complimented her on the clothes she would wear,
Paid attention whenever she did her hair.
Asked her about her day and her bullshit career
Promised her silk and fine cashmere,
As I whispered sweet nothings in her ear,
Told her how she made my heart flutter whenever she drew near.
And to be without her is what I feared
But no matter what happens, “Honey, I'll always be there”
“God if you only knew how much I care”,
And I told her a bunch of other bullshit that women love to hear!

Act 3: The Hit
Needless to say she saw me as a friend and her man as the foe.
Took me to bed, not knowing she's been manipulated by a deceitful LEO.
And I remembered when she said she wasn't with my plan,
That she already had a man.
She even showed me the engagement band.
But still, she fell for my program of candlelight and slow jams.
Now I'm reaching for the 'Trojan',
And she ain't thinking about her man.
Your man just left, he's barely out the door,
And you're calling telling me I made you cum like you never came before.
Not realizing that a simple test of life, you've just failed...
Now you're reaching for me thinking you've exhaled.

You don't want me to leave and you're begging me to stay.
But...I'm a “predator” baby, and you weak girls, my “prey”
You had a good man, yes he wasn't perfect.
And here comes the predator to exploit your weakness.

See ladies, when you have a good man,
Never focus on the small details that he's lacking...
Because there's a predator out there, somewhere…watching.
So even though you beg,
Baby we can't be together,
I thought you knew. Besides you cheated on your man,
Who's to say you won't cheat on me too!
See I need someone I can work with,
Not a material girl from around the way...
Who’s gonna jump from bed to bed,
Because of a compliment I forgot to pay.
So when you come with your soap opera story wanting to be my bride....
All I got to say is, “Sorry hon, but…hey…thanks for the ride!”

May God never let us fall into the hands of the predator o!

Friday, June 20, 2008


I hopped over to smaragd’s to find I had been tagged yet again.
No big deal was really fun doing it…was more like playing a game,lol!

So here are the rules:
1. Put Your iTunes/ Music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!(this part was a bit hard o, i only just realsied that most songs on my player are not titled. I gat to correct this anomaly)
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!

God must have spent a little more time on you – NSYNC

Of cos am one person!

Beautiful in my eyes – JOSHUA KADISON
Wow! This is kinda true. You've got to be beautiful in my eyes,in and out!

Hanging by a moment – LIFEHOUSE
Hmmm…am i??

Celebrate Jesus, celebrate – DON MOEN
Lord am sorry, I don’t celebrate you as I should…princesa u need to get your act together and start celebrating Jesus sharply!

God will make a way – DON MOEN
Cool…I need to make this my new life motto

Mary’s in India-DIDO
I no understand this one o!

No one can get in the way of what I feel for them

I have always been a rebel, no be today I know that one,lol!

WHAT IS 2+2?
Whatever it takes – AMY GRANT
Lol! Whatever it takes jare!

Sexy Love – NEYO
In the first pace, I don’t get no best friend so…

Jesus is the sweet sweet love of my soul!

Candle in the wind – ELTON JOHN
I bind, I cancel, I reject…not my portion o!

LMAO! A hymn!! How can??

All about you – WOMEN OF FAITH
Who else will it be all about??

Flying without wings – Westlife
They definitely dont think am a witch,lol!

You are my Number one – ENRIQUE IGLESIAS
Lovely song but not the one I wanna dance to!

How do I breathe - MARIO
Of cos, my loved ones will wonder how they’d breathe without me,lol!

The woman in me – SHANIA TWAIN
ROTFLMAO! Is that a hobby?!

Irreplaceable - BEYONCE
It’s irreplaceable so I can’t tell,lol!

I’m gonna love you till the end – MLTR
So true!

It suits me just fine!

I’m tagging ten peeps(ya yea I know the rule said five but life’s too short for starchy ways dontcha think?lol!)
So over to Ladyguide, Florida, Afrobabe, Ejura, Charizard, Mommy, DOG, 30+,Bumight and Exschoolnerd.
(Sorry got no time to put up links)

Happy weekend people!

Monday, June 16, 2008


Yesterday’s mass in church was very interesting.
I’ll like to share some parts of the priest’s homily with you guys.
It’s not boring trust me.

So the priest started by asking the congregation a very popular riddle.

If both your spouse and one of your parents were drowning and you had the opportunity to save one of them, who would you save?

The first person who answered (a woman) said she would save her husband. When asked why, she replied that her father was on his way out of the world and he had completed his life mission while her husband was young and still had a lot to do before departing this world.

The priest commented that most of us only value people when they are useful to us and as soon as we stop benefiting from them, we regard them as unimportant and dispensable in our lives.

According to him, this was a wrong way to think.

The second person to answer, a man this time, said he would rather save his mother because in this life he can only have one mother whereas if he so chooses, he could marry as many wives as he pleases.

When we asked what the answer to the riddle was, the priest said that there was no right or wrong answer. He said that people act in certain ways based on their experiences/outlook to life.
What would I do if I were in a similar situation?
I don’t know o, but really thinking about it now, I think I’ll save my husband for the single reason that as a result of marriage we are supposed to be ‘one’ so letting him die would be like letting a part of me die.

That’s my opinion. What would you do if you were the one?

Then again the priest posed a second question.

If a group of hired assassins approached you to tell you that they’ve been paid to kill your spouse but would spare his/her life if only you agreed to die in place of him/her. Would you agree to lay your life to save his/hers?

This question hard pass Olumo rock o, lol!

So the priest asked those who would be prepared to die in place of their spouse to raise their hands.

In a congregation of more than two thousand people, only two people raised their hands.

Even those two, I doubt if they’d be as willing when the gun is pointing them in the face,lol!

Anyway, as I was saying, two people raised their hands. I wasn’t surprised they were both men. Correct me if am wrong guys, but I am of the opinion that men love more selflessly than women. I am a woman but I admit that we tend to be more selfish than our male counterparts even when we claim to be madly in love.

Sorry, no digressing. That’s not the big issue here.

The priest’s talked about Jesus Christ who gave up his life so ours could be saved even when we were sinners. He commented on how difficult it was for us to give up our life for our spouse, yet we do not appreciate the magnitude of what Christ did for us and we carry on like it is no big deal.


I must confess, my heart was opened wider at this revelation. To be honest, I no sure say my love for any husband go reach the point wey I go say, shoot me and leave him cos I sure say my body no go don rotten finish for ground before the man go begin eye another chickito, abi I lie?lol!

A friend of mine whose wife died at childbirth last year is getting married again this year, can you imagine that? This was a couple that was so so in love(that was the impression I had sha). They were like the model couple even though it was very young union. They were barely one year old in marriage before the wife died. Now our guy can’t wait to tie the knot with another opeke. Kai! What happened to all the "No one be like you" and all that love bla bla bla,lol!

Again I digress, sorry peeps.

Back to yesterday’s mass.

The priest also told a story. A very funny story.

At a burial Ceremony, the widow was at the graveside of her husband, wailing and screaming:
“God why my husband…Why? You could have taken me instead and left him…oh God why??”
She kept wailing while other sympathizers consoled her. Suddenly, there were thunder rumbles and lighting strikes in the sky and a voice boomed from above.
The ecstatic woman started thanking God.
“Oh thank you father…thank you lord…thank you…”
The voiced boomed again.
Guess what the woman’s response was.
“Oh God…No oooo…In fact, thy will be done o lord, you know why you took him o lord, I do not question your decision father, let thy will be done!”

See change of mouth...human beings…ever so dynamic,lol!

Abeg, I’ve got to run now but one thing I want everyone to remember is that Jesus Christ died that we might live, let us appreciate that and decide today that his death shall not be in vain.

This is not a sermon, please!

Wishing you all a lovely blessed week, Mwuahzzzz!!!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

In pursuit of beauty.

I don’t remember where I read or heard that women when they get older become more concerned about their looks and appearance. During the menopausal years(usually from their late forties to late fifties) there is a tendency for women to feel unsexy and unattractive. Some totally let themselves go and begin to really look old while others make conscious efforts to retain their attractiveness and youth.

My mum falls into the second category.

You see for someone in her mid-fifties, the way mumsy is going about her ‘ichomma’(beauty pursuit) is really funny. I like her spirit sha, the spirit of ‘I no wan old’, lol! The funny thing about it is not her wanting to retain her youthfulness but it is the fact that for someone who previously didn’t care much for stuff like fashion, make-up and other beauty enhancers when she was much younger, she seems to be outdoing herself lately.

I remember when I was younger and she was also younger. There were times I would have to chase Mumsy with a hair brush in hand to the car as she left the house just to help her brush her hair. She just didn’t care too much about such details. Sometimes, when we were out together, I’d have to take off my earrings and force her to wear them cos she probably had forgotten to put hers on before we left home and I didn’t want my mum looking like a ‘gbagada’ woman,lol! Or is it the time when I would beg her to let me apply a dash of lip gloss to her lips since they were looking too chapped and she would retort “this girl leave me alone, I don’t have time for that abeg!”

So when/how did she now change? I didn’t even realize when/how the transition from ‘I don’t care too much about my looks’ to ‘I care very much about my looks’ took place. I have always been the ‘vain’ one-the one who bothered too much how her hair, her outfit and her make-up looked. Mumsy used to actually tease me on the amount of time I took dressing up. For her, it was usually just rub cream all over, then apply white face powder and she was ready while I would take my time fixing my hair and make-up.
Now these days, the reverse is the case when we have to go out together. Now, I get ready and have to patiently wait while Mumsy applies her make-up and pimps herself all up,lol!

Now her make-up is another gist o!

I remember when she just started experimenting with make-up. She‘d rub some of her lipstick on her eyebrows and I would beg her to clean them off. “Mummy which kain ashawo make up is this now?” She would laugh and insist that I don’t clean them off. Even when I succeeded cleaning the lipstick off her eyes, she would still go back and apply it again, I soon learnt to give up and let her be.

Then she bought her eye shadow palette and now she doesn’t do the 'lipstick on the eyes' thing again but meeen, the way she packs on the eyeshadow, you go wonder whether no only eye shadow be dis or something else,lol! She particularly favours the gold colour. According to her, it makes her look sharp. I tell her “dis one don pass sharp o, you are looking over-sharp sef!”lol!

Some time back, we had to attend a wedding together. I was shocked when mumsy brought out her make-up bag. Chei! Her make-up bag is almost as big or if not bigger than mine. What did I not find in there? She had three different compact powders-there was MAC Studio Fix (even me wey don dey rub make-up since no dey use MAC o!), Black Opal and Fashion fair. There were also various shades of lipstick, eye shadow and lip-gloss (there was even one with all those shiny shiny stuff in it). I couldn’t believe my dear mumsy could go to the market to buy all those stuff, Since when ke?!!

Last Saturday, I was downstairs cleaning my car when she came out of the house. She was on her way out. She had on my favourite silver and black earrings- dangling earrings that almost reached my chin when I wore it. It looked good on her, made her look younger and I complimented her. What it meant was that I had to look for an alternative sinec i had planned to wear that pair out later in the day.

Then on Sunday, as I was preparing for church she came into my room. I didn’t realize what she was doing until I wanted to check myself out in the standing mirror and she was blocking my view.
“Mum! What are you doing? You are applying foundation on your face when you haven’t taken your bath yet?!!”
She continued rubbing the foundation on her face as she said “I have washed my face”
“But you’ll soon have your bath now and you’ll wash it off, that’s wasting the foundation now”
I whined.
She turned to look at me and said “who says I have to wash my face when I bath?”
I couldn’t help smiling. This my mama can be funny sha.
She went on to lecture me on how to apply foundation. I was like, see mumsy o, teaching me how to make-up, this is serious o,lol!

Yesterday morning, my car was at the mechanic’s so I had to hitch a ride to work with her and my dad. Mumsy taps me and asks me to clasp her bracelet on. It’s a charm bracelet with some funny looking charms like dat. It was cool o, I liked it but it just didn’t seem like the kind of stuff a fifty five year old woman would wear. As I clasped it on. My dad commented “Which one is this again? Is that a medal or what?”. I waited to hear what she would say but she just smiled this knowing smile as she looked at him and then me. If I interpreted that smile correctly, it said “see this old school man, he no know wetin dey on board”
I held back the laughter and looked closely at her face, she had on her favourite gold eyeshadow and the lip gloss with shimmers.

Now she has this facial cleanser that she uses diligently every day. This morning while doing her daily cleansing routine, she said to me.
“Hmmm…this thing is working o…my face is looking younger now, abi?”
I looked up from what I was doing. Her face was indeed looking fresher.
“Yes, it is working, you look like a sweet sixteen”.
She smiled and i thought to myself "This woman really mean business o!"

I hope when i get to her age, i'll still be interested in retaining my beauty like she is now,lol!
Ps: What do you guys think of a Summer Blogger Reunion?

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

E break Convenant?

It is a fact that the education standard in Nigeria has dropped from what it used to be when our parents went to school especially in our tertiary institutions. Every year we churn out half-baked university graduates who cannot defend their course of study. You find graduates of Mass communication who cannot define the term-Mass communication, its sad really!
With the decline of education standards in our government and state owned tertiary institutions came the advent of Private Universities. The Private Universities claim to produce better graduates who are well grounded in their chosen courses. I dont know how true this is because recently we took a youth corp member in the company where i work. She is a Mass Communication graduate from one of the private universities in the country but I was surprised to learn from her that in her four years of study, she never studied Advertising as a course. I went to a state university in my time(Oh my, I sound old!) and i remember that we studied each of the four major aspects of Mass Communication-Journalism, Advertising, Public Relations and Broadcasting. We studied each one of them as a course and in final year, our research project was on either one of these four aspects of Mass Communication.
So you see why i was surprised when she (the youth corp member)-a graduate of mass communication said she didn’t study advertising in school. I began to wonder if these Private Universities are really worth all the plenty money they demand from hapless parents/students. Their fees are so exorbitant that it’s only a few that can afford it. I don’t even mind if at the end of the day, they deliver on what they promise and give the students a well-rounded education but a situation whereby they charge crazy fees and yet churn out half-baked students is not good at all. Not for our students, not for our country! There is a saying that ‘half education is worse than ignorance’. I think i agree with that saying very much.

Anyway, something else that has come to my knowledge recently is the rate at which students are expelled/suspended from some of these Private Universities. One of these Private Universities-a christian University located in Ota, Ogun State(I wont call names) seems to be leading the pack in the suspension/expulsion craze. I hear you can even get suspended for not brushing your teeth to lectures(lol!I kid!) but seriously now, people get suspended and not one week, two weeks suspension o, am talking a whole year suspension for the craziest things! Don’t even mention school fees refund, you forfeit a whole session’s fees which is not ‘small money’ o!
Last week, i was talking a friend whose girlfriend was recently suspended from that Private University located at Ota. He was telling me why she was suspended from school for a year. So it turns out that his girlfriend was returning to school after spending the weekend at home and before she was let into the school premises, her stuff was searched by the security guys and they discovered that she had a mobile phone in her bag. Now, mobile phones are prohibited in that school but students will be students, some of them still find a way to sneak in their phones into the school and our dear young lady was one of those. Unfortunately for her she was caught and while going through the phone, some pictures of her roommates in school were discovered. These girls were also implicated because it meant that they too were in the know about the phone. At the end of the day, the girl who was caught with the phone in her bag and her roommates whose own share of the crime was having their photos in the phone were all suspended from school for one year. Their parents had just managed to cough out the almost half a million Naira they pay as session fees only to have their children sent home for compulsory one year holiday,lol!
Okay so yesterday, my brother was also gisting me about his boss’s son who also attends this Private University located at Ota. According to him, the boy was recently suspended from school for a year too. What did he do? He didn’t bring his bible to church! Unfortunately for him, the G.O(General Overseer) came visiting that day and decided to find out how many of them come with their bible to church. Those that didn’t come with theirs were given automatic one year suspension! His boss’s son was one of the unlucky ones. His daughter who attends the same university would have joined the suspended crew too but she was sharp enough to raise her purse which looked like a bible and thereby escaped being sent home for a year.

Now the man(my brother’s boss) is sad. He had only just stretched his pocket thin to pay this session’s fees for his kids and now one of them has been sent home for a year without refund of the fees he paid(I know the refund is not the man’s problem but the thing dey vex me jare, if you have to send them home, send them home with their money abeg! lol!). He has gone to plead for his son but was told by the best they can do for him is to let him appeal for a reduction in the time the boy would spend at home from 1 year to 6months.

I do not support that people should not be punished when they do something wrong but i believe there are levels of punishment for different offences. I just feel that suspending a student for one year because he failed to bring his bible to church is rather too harsh or what do you think?

Abi e break convenant?

On a lighter note. Some jokes to make you laugh.


One day there were two boys playing by a stream when they stumbled upon a naked woman frolicking in the water. After a few moments one of the boys turned and ran away.
The first boy couldn't understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend.
Finally, he caught up to him and asked,"It was interesting man, why did you run away?"

The other boy replied, "My Mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something turning to stone, so I ran."
A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on their wedding night. She looked at her husband and said, "Honey, do you remember this?"
He looked up at her and said, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married."
She said, "That's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?"
He nodded and said, "Yes dear, I still remember."
"Well, what was it?" she asked.
He responded, "As I remember, I said, 'Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those big breasts and screw your brains out.'"
She giggled and said, "Yes honey, that's exactly what you said. So, now its 50 years later, and I'm in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?"
Again he looked up at her, and he replied, "Well, mission accomplished."