Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Letter to my friends

Dear Friends,
I hope you are all doing very well, if so doxology,lol!
The main purpose of my writing this letter is to let you know that I will be off blogging for some time. I am not leaving blogville or abandoning you my darlings. I am only going to be busy with some other stuff that won’t allow me to blog for a while. It may take a week or two or even more but I’ll definitely be back.
However, even though I may not be blogging. I’ll still be very visible at your ends.
Love you all. HAPPY EASTER!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Get thee behind me!

I saw him walk into my office. There was no mistaking the height or build.
We embraced.

Him: Heeeey! It’s been a while…you’ve lost some weight and it is good!
Me: Yea a really long while. It’s been almost a year since I last saw you right?
Him: Yes…something like that. I saw your car outside while driving past and was wondering what you were still doing at work this late.
Me: Its only 7 and I had some work to tidy up. How is the family?
Him: They are fine. Mehn…you look very sexy! I never imagined you would look this good if you lost some pounds but you do!
Me: (Smiling) Thanks. You didn’t see me when I really lost the weight. Now I have packed on the pounds again
Him: Oh yea…you must have worked really hard. So what did you do?
Me: No big deal. Just dieting…you know watching what I eat and so on
Him: And it really worked! See how good you look, I could eat you up right now
Me: (laughing) Eat me ke! Abeg o!
Him: You refused to date me na. I don’t know what I did to you sef
Me: You are married, that’s what!
Him: You remember you told me to give you N5 million and you would date me for one year.
I had told him that last year when he kept bugging my life. The bugging stopped soon after that…I knew it would. Stingo!

Me: Of course I remember! So do you have the money now?
Him: Haba, sweetheart that is being materialistic now. It’s like I am paying you for your love…can’t you just love me from your heart?
Me: (lol! See this ewu can beer wey dey find osho free…nonsense!)Did you say love?? If I want love I know where to go for it…not with a married man!
Him: This babe you harsh o! Let me make you feel like a real woman
Him: (making a fist) You know my thing…my thing is very big…really BIG. You see this your fine hips enh…that’s just what they need. I’ll….
Me: Abeg cut the crap, am leaving the office now. After you!

Get thee behind me all ye married men!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Lenten Appraisal

In 17 days, it’d be Easter and this year’s Lenten season would be over.
The Lenten season began exactly 1 month ago(February 6th) with the ash Wednesday celebrations.
Today I sit back to take stock of how good/bad I have been this lent.
Before the Lenten season began, I had PLANS, lots of plans on what and what I’d do. You know how the season is meant for us to retreat into ourselves, mortify our flesh through fasting and other forms of denial and try to amend our life in line with the word of God.
So like I said earlier I had made plans. Stuff I was going to do and stuff I wouldn’t do. Some of my ‘To do’ plans were-

Cut down on blogging
Attend week day masses(I am catholic) at least 2ce every week.
Fast 6-12(Yea…yea…I no fit do the marathon 6-6,lol!)at least 3ce every week
Pray the rosary at least once a week
Do the Stations of the cross prayer at least once a week
Go to confession and confess all those my bad bad behaviours,lol!
Receive communion at least 2ce a week
Keep God’s temple(my body of cos!) holy meaning nothing like kissing or touchery not to talk of the main do-SEX!

And some of the ‘Not to do’ plans:
No too much ‘Goodtime’ (you know…too much having fun) this period
Partying is out of it!
Too much of ( I wonder…how do one rate ‘too much’??) ‘TFC’, Tantalizers, Chicken republic, Barcelos, all the nice chop chop places sha is not allowed.

So the question now is how have I fared??
Very bad, I think.
Let’s take ‘em one by one.

Cut down on Blogging
So the Idea was- no staying back after work to read blogs, comment, whatever! But sadly, it’s like I read even more blogs this periods. Sometimes I am through with work for the day around 5pm but instead of making like a good girl and packing my ‘ngwongwo’(load) to head for church(the original plan…remember?). I’d say “Just one more blog…God pleaseeeeeeeeeeee! And the next thing, I’ll find myself staying on till it gets too late to go to church. My bad BAD…I know. Really from now on if any of you sees me on ur blog again at odd hours(lol), chase me out with koboko o!(yea right!)

Attend week day masses at least 2ce every week
If you take the fact that out of the 30 or so days already gone in this lent season, yours truly has only attended weekday mass TWICE… am sure you’ll join me to say I failed woefully! Kai…I dey shame for myself…seriously! I admit that though some of the times I have had to work(yea…real work) late, the major culprit for this has been BLOGGING… God save me!

Fast 6-12 at least 3ce every week
On this one, I no fit shout o! You guys want the truth?? Okay here goes…I haven’t fasted for even one day!(God must be so mad at me really)
Sometimes I hardly even remember. I start eating and then suddenly it clicks-“you’re supposed to be fasting girl!’ Only then it’s too late as some of the food done reach destination already.
My boss even remarked one day “I thought catholics also fast during lent” lol! I felt so ashamed and replied “Yea…but am not feeling too well, I have to eat before I fall down”(lol! Do we include lying to my list of sins now?), I doff my hat for my oga(boss) sha, the man has been doing marathon 6am-6pm fasting everyday. I guess if going to heaven depended on how well one could fast, the man for done get room and parlour for there tey tey,lol!) Okay…I digress. The truth is that princesa hasn’t fasted at all this Lenten season and something has to done to remedy the situation… innit??

Pray the rosary/ Do the Stations of the cross prayer at least once a week
I have failed woefully in this regard again. Can’t remember the last time I held a rosary in these hands. Na rily wa for me sha! Stations of the cross nko?? Na person wey dey go church go do dat one and me na BAD church goer(We’ve established that already na).

Go to confession
I must confess am still carrying my sins around and the weight(of the sins) is not a small matter o! E heavy well well my people. Haven’t downloaded them on a priest yet. Seriously now…I need to go to confession asap! Maybe this weekend.

Receive communion at least 2ce a week
I haven’t gone for confession yet and I can’t receive communion until I do so I guess its *uncheck* for this too. Note to self: You’ve got to hurry up with the confession girl.

Keep God’s temple holy
I have avoided situations that could make me fail this and I daresay I have succeeded with the no kissing/touchery/Sex part. However I have done certain things(am not telling!) that may make it impossible for me to wholly claim that I have followed the plan to the letter. “Forgive me Lord”.

No too much ‘Goodtime’/Partying/Hanging out
Now this, I have contravened seriously.
Just weeks back, this babe was at the Naija facebook beach party and yours truly rocked real hard! Well, that’s like the only party I have been to this lent so I guess its not too bad(yeah…right...who am i kidding!).
On ‘hanging out’, I have also done a lot of that. It’s not a bad thing, don’t get me wrong plzzzz, just that in the spirit of the season I should be engaging less in pleasurable stuff.

Am sure you’all will agree with me now when I say I have not been a ‘very good’ girl this lent. Oh well….its never too late to make amends right? As my people say-“a problem identified is a problem half solved” (I just made that up,lol!)
I have to start making serious efforts to get into God’s good books. I still got 17 days…thank God!

Ps: Thanks to everyone who dropped by my brother’s wedding website and signed their guestbook. You guys are simply Fab!