Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Get thee behind me!

I saw him walk into my office. There was no mistaking the height or build.
We embraced.


Him: Heeeey! It’s been a while…you’ve lost some weight and it is good!
Me: Yea a really long while. It’s been almost a year since I last saw you right?
Him: Yes…something like that. I saw your car outside while driving past and was wondering what you were still doing at work this late.
Me: Its only 7 and I had some work to tidy up. How is the family?
Him: They are fine. Mehn…you look very sexy! I never imagined you would look this good if you lost some pounds but you do!
Me: (Smiling) Thanks. You didn’t see me when I really lost the weight. Now I have packed on the pounds again
Him: Oh yea…you must have worked really hard. So what did you do?
Me: No big deal. Just dieting…you know watching what I eat and so on
Him: And it really worked! See how good you look, I could eat you up right now
Me: (laughing) Eat me ke! Abeg o!
Him: You refused to date me na. I don’t know what I did to you sef
Me: You are married, that’s what!
Him: You remember you told me to give you N5 million and you would date me for one year.
I had told him that last year when he kept bugging my life. The bugging stopped soon after that…I knew it would. Stingo!

Me: Of course I remember! So do you have the money now?
Him: Haba, sweetheart that is being materialistic now. It’s like I am paying you for your love…can’t you just love me from your heart?
Me: (lol! See this ewu can beer wey dey find osho free…nonsense!)Did you say love?? If I want love I know where to go for it…not with a married man!
Him: This babe you harsh o! Let me make you feel like a real woman
Me:??
Him: (making a fist) You know my thing…my thing is very big…really BIG. You see this your fine hips enh…that’s just what they need. I’ll….
Me: Abeg cut the crap, am leaving the office now. After you!

Get thee behind me all ye married men!

65 comments:

Naija Chickito said...

1st yay. *Doing the victory dance*

Naija Chickito said...

ROTFLMAO. This is really funny o. Him doing the fist and saying those nasty things. Oh my word! Married men, why some dey like to disgrace themselves all because of sex? I blame the women though that give them the green light. They end up thinking ALL women are like that. Yeye man.

Today's ranting said...

The man is really funny ooo.The guy leave im wife for house they pursue you. Chei some men can't just stick to one woman. Sigh.

30+ said...

Errant Nonsense, what kind of goat is he, my thing ppppppsssssssttew

Aphrodite said...

Hey princesa,
I've been a fan of ur blog for sometime now. Could u pls drop by mine. I'll appreciate it. Thanks.

Meanwhile, that man is just an ass.

Rayo said...

LMAO!! What an idiot.

Isn't it always funny how much they start wanting you after you lose weight?

darkelcee said...

i no know wetin these men dey look for ?

lol@ ewu can beer!
Prisca it mean you are too foine so please keep it up.lolllllll

Mommy said...

You know when I read the 'ewu can beer' I thot you had a knife or some sort of weapon on you that you wanted to use in chasing him away.

WHat can we say...we pray that these sort of men don't make friends with our sort of men and spoil them for us. Nonsense.

Lol @ get thee behind me

Bia chikito...won't you go and update ya blog? Here dancing kalangu for us! (Just jealous that I'm not first)

Aijay said...

LOL!! Ewu can beer. lol.
But Princesa, why u no allow the guy na?? Dude wants to make u feel like a real woman. His thing is big. lol.

Don't mind some of these yeye married men who choose to disgrace themselves. I met a couple of them during the holiday. So pathetic!Hiss...

bumight said...

lol, some men can be funny.so if u didnt lose weight he wouldnt have come back?

princesa said...

@naija chickito, abi o! Cos they succeed a few times with some females, they think everyone is like that.

@today’s ranting, no mind them.

@30+, a randy he goat I guess ,lol!

@aphrodite, been at urs already. Nice blog u ‘ve got too.

@rayo, maybe losing weight makes one look sexier and hard to resist,lol!

@darkel, too hot? I wish! You still dey call me prisca abi? I go soon change ur name o!

@mommy,lol! Knife ke?? E no reach that level ko. I understand that ur prayer babes and I concur!lol! Don’t u worry, God dey ur side.

@aijay, okwa I biala now! Lol! Maybe I should direct him to your house since you seem to like BIG things,lol! (kidding!) It’s so common with naija husbands these days. They seem not to understand what faithfulness means anymore. God help us o!

@bumight, he didn’t know I lost weight till he came and my weight was never an issue previously when he was begging to get btw my legs. The man is just one horny he-goat!

Sparkle said...

NA WA O! Na some men like dis person dey give dirty slap.he has a big thing?? LMAO wonders shall never end!!! and he kept talking about ur weight loss...abeg Princess, u get d man's wife number? make u call am say her husband na yeye goat!...nah don't do that...LOL

La Reine said...

'get thee behind me' indeed.

To think, he might actually find someone that'd agree....

Afrobabe said...

Kai, this babe u stingy oh...give the man some love biko...

Nyemoni said...

Nne biko, show a brother love now? Maka gini make you do like this? LOL..the guy should really get thee behind, beside, before you!

Rayo said...

lol I guess so...so sexy that even married men can't resist you. lol

wellsbaba said...

@afrobabe...lol,ur gangster! but princesa try consider d man naw! wen i go look ur pics,me sef i no blame d man "majesty" 4 wantin somtin....lol

Zena said...

The man dey craze, which thing? God punish am, hirriot(funky yoruba accent,lol) I cannot stand men like dat, uggh!!!''you were very polite, I wud've given this ass something to stick his "thing" in,

lol, Amen ooh!Get thee behind Princesa married men

Allied said...

yeye man... but princesa you be fine babe now.. All these guys (Married,Singles and Unsures) can't help it jare

The Life of a Stranger called me said...

lol......this is too too funny.. Can't help but lugh..
..."(making a fist) You know my thing…my thing is very big…really BIG. You see this your fine hips enh…that’s just what they need. I’ll…."

I really dont know what I would have done at this point!! Psyco..

Jaycee said...

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL....

Kai, see all the people before me. I need to be a better stalker! *Rolls eyes* (lol)

Couldn't help but LAUGH at this...really? Is that how married men get girls for free nowadays? He don find FREEBIE! Nonsense & ingredients, lol.

I'm praying a silent prayer for his real wife...it's not fair on her.

OluwaDee said...

lol! u asked hm 2 gv u 5m.
Al ye married man, get the behind princesa.

Rinsola said...

Oh Lord, could You please get the married men behind Princesa and send the good looking single Godfearing responsible men before her.
NB For married men:
NO FLATTERY FROM YOU EXCEPT WITH YOUR WIFE BY YOUR SIDE.

Rinsola said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
princesa said...

@sparkle, lol! The man big pass me, if he come retaliate nko? I no want be home breaker o…even if I get the wife number, I cant fit tell.

@la reaine, of cos! He probably will.

@afro, lol! You dey support bad thing enh?

@nyemoni, he has to get behind me definitely but before and beside, I no want rara,lol!

@rayo, the single guys should be tripping not married ones.

@wellsbaba, lol@the man’s majesty! See ur mouth…bad boy!

@zena,lol! Hirriot ke!! The guy is my friend anyway…just tends to get out of line at times.

@allied, the married ones had better help it o! No vacancy for here,lol!

@life of a stranger, it was funny too later when I thought about it that’s why I did the post…so u guys can laugh too.

@jaycee, freebie?? Lol! Its true…not fair on the wife.

@oluwadee, I had to scare him away and I knew that was the only way to do it. If I was going to eat frog, better to eat the one wey get body well abi?

@rinsola, Amenoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

diary of a G said...

must be hard sometimes to look so good eh!?!lol...Princesa this is ur sexiest post ever...only Naija
girls got game like that...tell em girl

pamela said...

AMEN!!!!!!

Uzezi said...

omg! lol. did u tell him u don't feel like a real woman? he said it's like buying his love? ask him why he thinks single girls even bother dating married men. only 10% has to do with love.

princesa said...

@DOG, sexiest post?! Didnt know this post was any thing sexy bro! Thnx for praising Naija babes.

@pammy, amen too!

@uzezi,my siste i tire o! I agree with you that most girls that date married men do so purely for the money.
10% too much sef, maybe 1 or 2 %!

Ms. emmotions said...

lmao...

i swear u no easy ooo,

5 million for one year? hard bargin dear,

Naija Chickito said...

Abi o, ms. emotions. Was just thinking the same thing after reading the post again.

Aijay said...

P, this is btw. I no like as this feedjit dey catch me for Blogsville.
I just had to say that. lol. how u dey?

Obi said...

Hmm..ao I take it you no like "big thing"..??

StR8 UP Desiree'D said...

wat kind of fcukery is dat? Is he mad or something! Oh hell NO! mchewwwwww men of nowadays sef, esp married men... useless bunch *spits in disgust*

Nice blog btw... and i abs love that Matchbox20 song on ur blog! My fav!

Olamild said...

That man is a shameless goat
sorry to say

Ms. Catwalq said...

abeg the man is razz jooo...

Florida of Free Spirit said...

his thing is big!!!! & t's what ur hips need!!!!!!!!! damn!!!!!!! how did dis bobo bros know say na wetin chicks wan hear!!!!!! GGreat pick-up line, men. bobo sabi eh. IDIOT!

Omosewa said...

Lmao, i cant believe he said its very big...im sure its all mouth no action, shiooo.

Abeg, i help you rebuke all of them, nonsense!

InCogNaija said...

lmao!!! the size of his kpakos bit was just a lame last attempt of a struggling olodo. low indeed. he should go whack his wife at home with that kpakos momentos and stop chasing princesa about!!

ejura said...

lol! I know a lady who once told a guy "get thee behind me you philistine!"

I felt so sorry for him. In the twinkle of an eye, she had transported him from zaria to a battle scene in isreal.

av a great weekend!

princesa said...

@Ms. emotions, lol! Hard bargain ke?? You never see those wey dey build house, buy motor and train all the girl siblings just to date am..enh? 5 milla small sef!

@naija chickito,lol! You came back to read?? This gist don sweet u too much sef! So u too think 5 milla is too much??
@aijay, its because of you I put up the feedjit na…hide hide,lol!

@obi, *roll eyes*, you like small thing??

@str8 up, thanks dear. Match box 20 rocks jo!

@olamild, chei! This man don suffer for una hand,lol!

@ms. catwalq, lol! I agree…

@florida, you hail the man finish come cause am on top. Oya e don do my people, na my friend e be,lol!

@omosewa, a friend of mine also said the same thing. Guys that really have ‘BIG thing’ no dey talk am,lol!

@incognaija,LMAO@kpakos. My take exactly! His wife needs it more than I do.

@ejura,lol! Philistine?? You have a nice weekend too dear.

s.chic said...

lol...some men will just always be men sha...thank God for grace sha...How you dey?

s.chic said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sherri said...

too funny!
olodo!

guerreiranigeriana said...

na wa o!!...only 5 million you wanted?..the fool was lucky o!!!...he would have made a deposit of 6 million up front and purchased a car for me, before i even consented to just discuss the possibility o!!!!...nonrefundable deposit!!!...foolish man...

soupasexy said...

LMAO @ stingo and ewu can beer
na wa o! married men sef..no respect..

Obinwanne said...

" if you see my thing ehh...my thing is very big".....funny lines made me almost crack my ribs laffing...how could he use such lines...he;s sick very sick infact

Obinwanne said...

" if you see my thing ehh...my thing is very big".....funny lines made me almost crack my ribs laffing...how could he use such lines...he;s sick very sick infact

Pink-satin said...

lol

tobenna said...

The man was just expressing his needs and y'all are dissing him. Leave the guy abeg oh.
It's left for you to slap him or grab him by the crotch.
I have seen worse guys get their needs satisfied by ladies for one reason or the other.
Don't mind me Princesa.
I hope you kicked him in his BIG balls!

princesa said...

@s.chic, i dey fine dear. I dont understand...so what he did...that's like being a a man??

@sherri, olodo,lol!

@g,nigeriana,LMAO!!!
For real?? Thats a REAL bargain babes!

@soupasexy,some married men just dont understand what marriage means.

@obinwanne,lol! Sick...am not sure but adulterously horny...definitely!

@pink-satin,just lol?

@tobenna, lol@kicking his BIG balls! How come i didnt think of that?

Jaybabe said...

LOL...OH MY GODDD!!!!

desperate lady said...

lmaoooooo kai, d dude is nuts! y did he see it neccessary to tell u about his dick huh? hmmm princessa must look like she likes.......,
What if he had given u d 5mil?

wellsbaba said...

omo ur gettin so much luv in here ooo...jst bcos one dirty dog wants a piece....KAI! i knw mind may dem dey bug everywhere(even4dream) so u go dey get attention lyk dis4blogville...lol....

Queen of My Castle said...

Some married men disgust me.

Congrats on the weight loss! I, on the other hand, am still battling the bulge! LOL

exschoolnerd said...

that is just very disgusting!!!!! but i cnt help laughing...

Manda said...

lol... he is Union bank na.. Big,strong, reliable!

We are still waiting in anticipation for ur positive response o!lmao

chicala said...

honestly, some men are disgusting!
You should have sounded (slapped) him, lol! If he comes back...tell us o, we'l give u some tips incase u'r so disgusted that u dont even know what to do to him!
Hope u'v been good princessa, its been a while!
And who's comment am i seeing above mine? Manda i see you o, lol!

Uzezi said...

lol @ florida of free spirit. what girls want to hear indeed.

princesa said...

@jaybabe,lol!
@DL, "princesa must look like she likes what??. Come back here this babe and explain urself ngwa ngwa(quick quick)!
The stingo can not give 5milla o! Anyway if he did, i go collect the money, chop clean mouth,lol!

@wellsbaba, bug me for dream?? God forbid!lol!

@castlequeen, lol! Do we ever stop battling the bulge?? I have packed on teh pounds agin, the guy hadn't just seen me for a while.

@exschoolnerd, laugh on jare!

@manda, lol@union bank! We should actually use the guy for an advert for Union bank abi how u see am?lol!
Which positive response?? Make una go rest abeg o!

@chicala, sounded a grown ass man?!I no chop liver reach dat side o! I have been good dear,i see you're back in the ville...thats good!

@uzezi,lol! Dont mind Flo.

AnyaPosh said...

hahaha, effing douche cunt. How did he think he'll help your hips with that fist-comment. nonsense. I dunno why these old guys won't respect themselves. he won't be even able to handle it...sheesh.

Jinta said...

lmao. i like that guy!

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

that guy na fuck up...

poor wife...shit...she is prolly fucking the gateman..e go do am like film

NIGERIA POLITRICKS said...

..."You see this your fine hips enh…that’s just what they need." - who is dis clown? lawl!!
princesa, abeg no let this joker touch ur fine hips oh; because i've paid the price and you're my nkem!

1stpet2v9 said...

LMAO