Tuesday, January 29, 2008


Okay so I had nothing serious to blog about but I wanted to post something new since my flu is almost gone and the dirty minds quiz had been answered so I went digging through manda’s archives to steal this meme.

Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Heinz salad cream
Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Chicken Republic(luv their chicken!)
Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. Barcelos
Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. Tip ke?? Nada!
Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of?
A. Ewa Agonyin (Beans with pepper stew) and Plantains
Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
A. Sweet corn, Avocado, pineapple and of cos Cheese!
Q. What do you like to put on your toast?
A. Mixed Fruit Jam
Q. What is your favorite type of gum?
A. Orbit

Q. Number of contacts in your cell phone?
A. Tried counting but its hard work!
Q. Number of contacts in your email address book?
A. I don’t know. Got 3 email addresses…can’t count all the contacts
Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. Mountain Landscape(Tired of staring at my pic!)
Q. How many televisions are in your house or apartment?
A. 5

Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
A. Right
Q. Do you like your smile?
A. Yes
Q. What's your best feature?
A. My Eyes
Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. You mean body parts?? Na Na!
Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. Smell
Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. Hmmm…about 5 years back
Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. My Box of Clothes
Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Never

Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. Yea
Q. Is love for real?
A. Of course!
Q. If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
A. Never thought of that…love my first name as it is but hmmm…lets see maybe Jackie(I like that name…it connotes a strong personality)
Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Blue
Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. Yea(drank kerosene once unknowingly)
Q. Have you ever saved someone's life?
A. Cant remember if I have
Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. Yea…Jesus…he saved me!

Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. What?!?! Okay maybe if the public street is in some very far away continent,lol!
Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. That’s like N12,000, why not!
Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. Hell nay!
Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. Hmmm.... YEA!!!
Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
A. I wont o…but what if I wear my undies…can I get half of that?*wink*
Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?
A. I’ll try!
Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. I would as long as I’ve got my music

Q: Number?
A: 1
Q: Color?
A: Blue
Q: Season?
A: Dry
A: Romantic Comedies
A: Thrillers with a dash of horror

Q: Missing someone?
A: Yea
Q: Mood?
A: Hungry
Q: Listening to?
A: Nickelback’s Faraway
Q: Watching?
A: My computer
Q: Worrying about?
A: My Health!
Q: Last Friend you talked to?
A: Obi
Q: Last person you called?
A: Ezeos
Q: Last person that called you?
A: A Printer
Q: Last person you hugged
A: Emmanuela

Q: First place you went this morning?
A: Toilet
Q: What can you not wait to do?
A: Cant think of anything now
Q: What's the last movie you saw?
A: The Eouder Car(an Indian Movie…luv ‘em)
Q: Do you smile often?
A: I try to
Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: Yes…I like to think so(You guys can tell me)
Q: After this survey, what are you going to do?
A. Go see a Client
Q: What is in your left pocket?
A: No pockets
Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A: Dunno…haven’t seen it.
Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A: Carpet
Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A: What a question?! Stand of cos!
Q: Could you live with roommates?
A: Yea I could
Q: How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
A: One
Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A: Police?? Been a while since they last stopped me to check for whatever!
Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: Am grown up already!

Monday, January 28, 2008

Harmattan Flu & Dirty minds Quiz

Am feeling shitty this morning. Stinging watery eyes, runny/blocked nostrils, a wickedly throbbing headache and am running a fever too. In fact I think I have the Flu and it’s caused by nothing else but the harmattan. The harmattan season has come unusually late this year(Its usually around December) and its been biting really hard here in Lagos. I wonder how people in the North are coping if its this bad here in Lagos(West). It must be terribly cold down there considering the extremity of their weather.

Am wearing a T-shirt under my suit yet I feel sooooo cold. I almost called in sick at work this morning but being the responsible good girl(lol) I am and seeing as I may need to ask for a day or two off this week to travel down east I decided I had to come sort out the carried over business of last week but right now am wondering if it was the best decision,

My typical Monday is usually filled with meetings. In-house meetings, meetings with clients and meetings with suppliers. I seriously need the grace of God to see me through the day o!

Better get started on the days work abi?

I’ll leave you guys with this quiz. Attempt to answer the questions and lets see those with dirty minds,lol! I must tell you this though the answers are not what they seem. I’ll provide the answers in my next post. Ciao!

1. What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of?
2. What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long and has a head on it? (Hint: Teenage girls love these so much that they'll often blow them without even thinking about it!)
3. What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k?
4. Name a four letter word that ends in u-n-t which may be the name for a member of your family.
5. What is hard, six inches long, has nuts, and can make a girl fat?
6. What four-letter word ends in i-t and is found on the bottom of bird cages?7. What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and sticky?8.A finger fits inside it, you might fiddle with it if you're bored and the best man gets it first.
9. What is it that all men have one of; some men have longer ones than others; the pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

Thursday, January 24, 2008


I got this in my mail box and it was so funny i had to share especially since this is the season for love(Valentine is around the corner). These letters may just be the stuff to impress that love of your life,lol!

Take your mind back to those years when you were always thinking of one idiomatic expression to compose a letter to your girl friend/boyfriend(secondary school days).

Take time to go through this and laugh it out.
From Those Days When Love Was Fun & Didn't Cost So Much!!...

At school, July 10, 1978.
My dearest, sweetest, fondest, fantastic, extra-ordinary, paragon of beauty a.k.a Rose.
I hope this letter meets you in a fabulous state of metabolism, if so doxology. My principal aim of writing this letter to you is to gravitate your mind towards a matter of global and universal importance, which has been troubling my soul.
The matter is so important. Even as I am writing, my adrenaline is 100 per cent on the Richter scale, my temperature is rising, the wind vane of my mind is pointing North, South and East at the same time; the mirror in my eyes has only your divine image. Indeed when I sleep, you are the one in my medulla oblongata, and I dream about you.
I went out to sea in my dream, and I saw you: surrounded by H2o and you In your majesty rose from the abdomen of the sea like Yemoja, the avatar Of beauty. Oh, Lord be with us! We are thy servants. As you can see, I am in a serious dilemma. And I want you to take my Matter seriously.
At this juncture, what our Lord said on this matter is germane. He says we should ask, and we shall be given, we should seek and we Will find, and that we should knock, and it will be opened unto us.
In this 10th day of the seventh month in the year of our Lord, one thousand, Nine hundred and seven eight, asking, seeking and knocking at your door.
My prayer is that thou should open so that thy servant can enter. I want to wake up in the morning and see only your face.
I want you to be the only sugar in my tea, the only fly in my ointment, the butter on my bread, the grey matter of my system, the oxygen in my head, the planet of my universe, the wall clock of my room, the conveyor belt of my soul. I pray that you realized the gargantuan nature of my predicament.
If you refuse, my life will be like tea without sugar, like a snail without shell, an Xmas goat without a horn; in fact I'd become an orphan.
In fact I'd kill myself. What is life if I can't wake up in the morning and behold your face? You model of pulchritude, patiently created by God on a Sunday morning before he went on a deserved holiday. Please Rose, let me be your Romeo. Make me the Adam to your Eve. Shakespeare said it
all: "if music be the food of love, play on." I want to emphasize, universally and responsibly, that you are love itself. You are the metaphor, oxymoron, thesis, antithesis, irony, gerund, conjunction and the adverb of love.
At this juncture, let me also say that the geography of your body is a permanent alleluia. Not from your body, ammonia, urea and iodine- you are too beautiful for that, what I see in your body is milk and honey.
At this juncture, brevity is the soul of wit. A stitch in time saves nine. Procrastination is the thief of time. An opportunity once lost can never be regained. Make hay while the sun shines. All that glitters is not gold.
The journey of a thousand years begins with a step. What God has put Together let no man put asunder. To be a man is not an easy task even if God's Time is the best. But time waits for no one. A man without love is like a Fish out of water. I know you are a sagacious girl. If you like the veracity of what I am saying, please fill the attached form and let me have it pronto. The mark at the bottom of this page is a kiss from me to you.
I remain Your beloved, faithful, loyal, One and only admirer.

** ROLL DOWN TO YOU ** KISS BEFORE YOU READ ** " P D N F"--- please do no fold.
Sweetiepie Babe!
Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. Why! this miraculous thing happened is because papie I love you spontaneously and as I stand horizontal to the wall and perpendicular to the ground I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous guy. Papie please Stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat. To me each day starts by thinking of you and ends by dreaming of you. Each time I see you my metabolism suddenly stops and my
peristalysis goes in reverse gear My medular-oblandata also stops functioning.
Crazy crazy crazy you may say but this is true. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon you would understand. That's why I need to see you face to face with you, soon. I think I have to pen-off hear because I still haven't finished studying electrolysis and polymerization. Catch you pa- later. Sleep tight and don't let those bed bugs ever bite you coz you are too sweet a thing for them.

Yourz Ever,
Sugar tapi tapi

** KISS BEFORE YOU READ ** " P D N F"--- please do no fold
My Love, My Sugar, i was exasperated with pride to have received one from you, the lungs in my body flapped with joy when i have been reading your letter. Anyway by now you have reached the realisations to why i am jotting this small letter to you, yes it is to see if you are
keeping with the sands of time.
How is everything on that other side of yours? Well here everything is just half lemon half sugar to makeit schweppes. How is your schooling?
How are you pulling the wagons of life? I am just pulling the schooling thing like a donkey pulling a cart.
My honie, i am missing you very much right now, my heart is perambulating with every word that i write, if it was not for these oceans that decided to flow between us then i would get on the next bus to come and see you, but until then i know that i will not hesitate to put this blue blood on this paper and write to you. I remember that day lovie, that one sweet day as Maria Curry sanged it, you know that it is my favorites song honie, the one day that we were boarding the combies and you escorted me to my home, walking with you just brought sweet dreams to me
for the rest of my life honie.
If words of love could ride a bicycle I would be competing againstDiego Maradona. Anyways, i will not stop you from reading the books that give you life and education so I will stop here for today.
Please always writing to me because I am missing you like sugar misses tea. You can see my foto below.
My dedications to you are :

Maria Curry - One Sweet Day.
Boys to Main - And of the Rod

Keep well my mop of my heart, Yours in flesh and in blood,

Sugar Baby
P.S. Sorry about my english, I did not learn anymore.

Ha ha ha ha ha...these guys are a serious trip mehn!
Please show some love to this new blogger guys.

Monday, January 21, 2008


Someone is pissing me off seriously o!
I wish I could just lay my hands on that person so I can wring her(it’s a she) neck. Okay…Okay maybe not that drastic but I’d love to give the heffer a good piece of my mind.
Let me get to the gist of the matter jare.
For the past two weeks, someone has been ‘flashing’ me.

For those who don’t understand what ‘Flashing’ means. To ‘Flash’ means to dial a person’s number and just when the phone starts ringing you cut it off before the person picks it up.
People ‘Flash’ for different reasons. Some ‘Flash’ when they don’t have phone credit and really need to speak to someone urgently. Some others ‘Flash’ just cos they are idle and don’t have something better to do so they think it’s a great idea to BUG someone else and constitute a nuisance. I TOTALLY dislike being ‘Flashed’. In fact most of my friends know I don’t take lightly to Flashing. If you want me to call you, you can at least spend five seconds credit to say-“Please call me back” or better still, send a text!

So back to my initial gist. This person has been ‘Flashing’ me like crazy these past couple of weeks. Sometimes, I’ll leave my phone on my desk only to come back and find 5 missed calls all from the same number in a space of 5minutes. 1 Flash per minute…crazy! I knew it was a ‘Flasher’ cos on some occasions I’d be holding my phone when the calls come in and just immediately it’d cut off. This was definitely a professional flasher with lots of experience.

So, Many flashes later and an irritated me, I called back.
Me: “Hello who is this?”
Flasher (A female voice): “Hello…who is dat?”
Me: “Someone has been Flashing me with this number, I just want to know who it is”
Flasher: “Na Business Center be dis”
Me: “Business Center?? So who is the idiot that has been flashing me with Business center line, ehn?? You better do something better with your time! Hissssssssss!!!
I cut off the line. It was a waste of my precious phone credit. I thought that was the last of it. Poor me, i didn’t know better.
Days later, I picked up my phone. Two missed calls. I recognized the number, yea it was the same damned number! I wasn’t going to call back this time…had better things to do with my time and credit.
And the flasher kept on. It became a daily affair. So I thought maybe the person had returned to the business center and wanted me to call back and I was getting really pissed off so I called back again.
Me: “Hello, who is this?”
Flasher (Same female voice o): *Funny language*
Me (Not understanding a word): “Whatever it is you are speaking…I beg you don’t call my phone again!”
I cut off the line. What kind of insane joke is this for God’s sake?! This is not funny at all.
Not quite two minutes later. Same number flashing me again. Wetin I do this person wey e no want let me rest ke??? This person want see my red eye sha.
Flash one, I ignored it.
Flash two, I still ignored it.
Flash three, My eyes are getting red now.
Flash Four, I can’t ignore this again. So am calling back, this time poison tongue ready.
Me: (See Me see wahala o!) Are you ok at all? So why did you flash me if you didn’t want me to call you back?? STOP FLASHING ME O!!!”
Flasher: “Gerraway, *some other insulting words*
This time the idiot cut off the phone.
I was still smarting from the insult when my ringtone came on again. I looked at the handset. It was the same number!
God knows, I’ll never call that number again but it’s really irking me.
God…I wish I could lay my hands on that heffer!

This post reminded me of another annoying Flasher experience I had last year. Then I was still using my old handset that had battery problems. I’d charge it till it showed-Battery Full. However just one call and the phone would go dead.
I was still managing my old phone and praying to buy a new one soon when this crazy Flasher got hold of my number and decided I wasn’t going to rest. This one was also a female (Wat’s with female flashers sef?)and a crazy Jim Iyke fan or so it seemed.
One day, after series of flashing(I think it was after the 30th flash). I was irritated as usual and I called back the number.
Me: “Hello who is this?”
Crazy Flasher: “Hello…I want to speak to Jim Iyke”
Me: “Jim Iyke?? This isn’t Jim Iyke number, This is my number and I don’t

like you flashing me every minute. Pls stop flashing my number”
Crazy Flasher: “Give the phone to Jim Iyke, I want to talk to him”
Me: “You don’t understand English in the afternoon or what?? I said there is no

Jim Iyke here, Stop calling this number!”
I dropped the line.
The crazy flasher continued flashing crazily and my poor phone, it couldn’t withstand the barrage of flashing so it would always go dead.
One night I was waiting for a call. NEPA had struck so there was no way to charge the phone so there I was praying that my battery would last when this crazy flasher started the usual flashing.
Flash 1. I prayed... God let it be just once.
Flash 2. No more, no more.
Flash 3. Now I knew things were serious. I had to call and warn this crazy girl before she kills my battery.
Me: “Hey, stop flashing me, you are running down my battery”
Crazy Flasher: “ I want to speak to Jim Iyke”
Me: “ I have told you this isn’t Jim Iyke’s number, Stop calling this phone!”
Crazy Flasher: “Just give Jim Iyke the phone, I want to talk to him”
Me: Even if this was Jim Iyke’s number. With the way you flash, do you think he’d want to

speak to you?? Just stop killing my battery with ur stupid flashes abeg!.
Crazy Flasher: “Idiot, Stupid, You dey craze!’
Me(stunned): “You must be demented”
Phone cut.
The Kolo case didn’t stop flashing o! It went on and on till she finally grew tired or perhaps realized that Jim Iyke was never calling her back.

I hope this new Flasher stops soon o unless…..SHARIA!!!lol!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

My First Love 2.

“Ehen Mallam* give me that fat sugarcane!” I pointed at one juicy looking sugar in the basket.
“Haba Princesa…I already chose that one na”, exclaimed Eve my friend .
Na wa for this girl sef. Every time I make a choice, that’s the one she suddenly wants.
School had ended for the day and as usual we were at the barracks gate buying Sugar cane. It was either that or roasted corn if it was the rainy season, . We would munch our afternoon snacks as soon as we got into the home-bound bus. Those who didn’t have money to buy anything would look on longingly at the others as the spittle threatened to drip from their mouths.

I wasn't in the mood for Eve’s trouble so I chose another sugarcane.
“Okay, no wahala…Mallam, give me the other one…ehen that one!”
“Princesa, how now?”
I turned around to see KF behind me. KF and I only recently began to talk to each other. Infact we didnt speak to each other until some weeks back when Chy introduced us. Since then the guy had been exceptionally friendly with me. I knew he was friends with Francis. I had seen them together some times so I was suspicious of his agenda.
“Hey KF! Am fine o! Wetin dey happen?” I replied.
“Nothing o! Me and my guys just dey hang out for that joint”
He pointed to a nearby shop where the guys usually hung out.
“Okay no wahala”. I collected my sugarcane in polythene bag from the Mallam and paid him. As I made to leave with my friends, KF pulled me back.
“Princesa…wait small. I want tell you something in private”
“Okay”, I gestured to my friends to go on ahead.
“So what is it?” I asked. Suddenly he was looking too serious .
“Francis wants to talk to you”, he blurted.
It was then I noticed him-Francis. He was standing a few feet from us. He looked very nervous.
Finally the moment was here. I had been waiting like forever!
“Yea…its okay…let him come” I answered.
KF beckoned to Francis and took his leave immediately. I bent my head, i didn’t want to look up. I wasn’t sure I could look at him at such close range.
His voice jolted me.
“Hello” I answered. I stole a look up and saw he was as nervous as I was or even more. That gave me some confidence so I maintained the gaze.
The silence was awkward.
Say something please
“You know I love you”
That was all he said.
I wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement but I nodded all the same. I couldn’t say a word, wasn’t even sure what to say. I mean no one had ever told me he loved me before. This was all new to me.
“Can we see at school tomorrow breaktime...I see ur friends are waiting for you” he asked.
I nodded again.
“Okay bye-bye” he smiled at me as he walked away happily.
I stood at the same point motionless as I watched his retreating form.
“Princesa!! Princesa!!! Keep standing like zombie there… we don leave you o!
It took my friends shouts to bring me back to planet earth.
I walked towards them slowly. From their faces, I knew everyone couldn’t wait to hear the details.

Next day at school.
This maths lesson is taking too long o! This man no dey tire sef abi hunger no dey catch am? All these teachers sef wey dey like overdo things! This lesson is supposed to last 30minutes…it feels like 2 hours already.
I wasn’t concentrating in class. This was the last subject before breaktime and I couldn’t wait for the teacher to leave. Francis and I had a date!
Thankfully the teacher soon left and the class was gradually emptying out as everyone headed to the School Canteen.
“Princesa are you not coming?”
My seat mate Remi asked. She was about to leave for the Canteen too.
“Not yet…I want to arrange my books first”, I replied pretending to shuffle some stuff around in my locker.
Few minutes later. Class was almost empty except for a few-those who brought their food to school and those who didn’t have any money to spend in the Canteen. I racked my brain trying to remember if we had agreed to meet at a venue during break. Didn’t rack too long when I felt a tap. I looked up to see Efe with this knowing smile on his face. He gestured to the back of the class and I turned to see Francis. He was seated at the last seat in my row smiling back at me. I got up and joined him.
“So what are you having for lunch?” he asked.
“Hmmm…I don’t know. Maybe we should get to the canteen first” I answered.
We got to the canteen and boy! Did he spend money?!?! He bought almost every thing that was on display that day. I only needed to look at it lingeringly and he had paid for it!
This boy was living up to his reputation of being loaded o! I thought.
Ice cream, Cakes, Puff-puff, Oranges, Chocolates, Biscuits, Soft drinks and many more!
If the plan was to impress, then he sure as hell has succeeded. I was over-impressed!
We found a quiet spot to sit and talked for a while. Soon the bell sounded signalling the end of Break-time and I had to go back to class. As he walked me back to class, I couldn’t help stealing glances at him.
God! I must have done something very right!! The boy was too foine!!!
I arrived class with my bag of goodies in tow and everyone was surprised. What happened? Who dash princesa money today??? The questions were in their eyes.
I didn’t care what anyone thought. I was in love with a rich, handsome boy!

The days flew by. We spent every spare time we had together…never apart except during classes. Break time we would head to the farthest corner of the school field where we would lie down beside each other making plans for our future together. We talked about everything-our wedding, the number of kids we would have and all the silly things adolescents(he was 16, two years older than my 14) our age talked about.
Our love was innocent and pure. We derived pleasure from just being together, holding hands and sharing our dreams.
We also began to go home after school together. My friends didn’t like this but I couldn’t care less.
It was on one of these trips home that we shared our first kiss. My very first kiss!
We were on the bus when suddenly, Francis turned to me and said:
“Close your eyes Princesa…I have a surprise for you”
I was excited. Even then I loved surprises so I closed my eyes and waited eagerly. Was it a present or what? I was soon to find out.
What happened next was a really HUGE surprise. I felt his mouth on mine and his tongue gently coerced my lips open. My eyes jerked open as I realized I was being kissed. I had read about this in books, saw it in movies but never knew how it felt to be kissed until then.
It was a very short kiss. Ended just as suddenly as it began but It felt nice and I was in love(ok infatuated maybe) so it also felt right.

It was one week to exams. Four weeks since I and Francis started dating(or whatever it was we were doing,lol!). Something was odd though. All these while I never saw Francis in his Class. Yes, he hung out with boys from SS2E and all but I never for once saw him taking a lesson in his class. Whenever I asked him about it, he always had an excuse or the other. I was worried he wasn’t taking his studies seriously. There I was…serious effico and my boyfriend was a class truant. I didn’t like it at all.
Then one day, at our usual ‘Break time hang out’. I learnt the truth.
He was unusually quiet that day and I was worried so I prodded.
“What is it Francis? Why are you so quiet?? Did I do something??
He shook his head. “No…you didn’t. I was just thinking about something”
“About what? Talk to me” I persuaded.
“I guess it’s about time I told you this. Am really sorry I didn’t tell you until now”
I was now very worried. What was he talking about??
He went on.
“I didn’t know how you will feel if I told you this and I didn’t want you to leave me so…”
“Will you quit beating about and tell me what it is?” I cut in impatiently.
“The truth is that…am …not…in…(long pause) SS2E. Am supposed to be repeating SS1E”
Jesus Lord! I was stunned!!
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Yes all the signs were there-his not being in class and all that but not in my wildest dream could I have thought he was repeating a class!
I was in shock but I was still able to gather from what he was saying that he was ashamed of repeating SS1 which was why he prefer to live in a ‘fools paradise’ pretending to be what he wasn’t-one of the SS2 boys.

The impact of the news I just heard hit me and I realized that the boy sitting beside me had practically shucked a year’s school work(that was the third term), he had not done assignments nor written class tests and it was only a few days to the terms final examinations. The exams that determined if you were to be promoted or not! I was really disappointed but the next step was to remedy the situation.
We tried. I helped him copy notes and we studied together but our efforts were like the struggles of a dying man doomed to death.
The exams came and went and we hoped against hope but we couldn’t escape the verdict. It was clearly written in his report card-ADVISED TO WITHDRAW.

That day, the last day of the term. I cried, he cried too. We promised not to lose contact with each other. He was going to write me when he got to a new school. I begged him not to forget me cos I wouldn’t him.
That was the last time I saw Francis. I would only see him in my dreams from then on.

Later on, A family friend told me of this new boy at her school. His name was Francis(same surname). He was one of the hottest boys in school. The girls were all dying for him…bla-bla-bla.
For months I waited, hoping he would contact me. Months turned to years, still no contact. I gave up hope…didn’t need no soothsayer to tell me he had moved on.
And so I moved on too.

It’s been 13 years now. Sometimes, I can’t help wondering where he is, what he is doing and what he looks like now. Am not even sure I’d recognize him if I saw him again. Would be nice to see.

Ps: Now I can rest abi? All ye gist mongers,,,you got ur story!lol!

*Mallam: Hausa man

Friday, January 11, 2008

My First Love

“Princesa…Princesa, wait up!”
I turned round to see Efe walking fast to catch up with me.
What does he want from me? I wondered. We hardly talked; in fact he was never in class. Efe was in the same class as I was-SS1G. Although he was repeating the class (He was supposed to be in SS2), he was still not a serious student. Most times you would find him hanging out with the ‘happening boys’ in school (who were mainly SS3 and SS2 boys) while classes were going on. I was even surprised he was in the laboratory for the just concluded Physics practical.
“Yes…what is it”, I queried feeling impatient as I noticed my friends had moved some distance ahead.
“There is something I want to discuss with you”, he replied.
“Hmmm…hmmm…go on”
“Do you know any Francis?” he asked
“Francis?...no I don’t. What Class?” I asked back
“Francis in SS2E”
Thinking hard, I didn’t recall knowing anyone by that name so I retorted:
“So what’s my own with this Francis? …abeg hurry up, my friends are leaving me behind o!”
“The thing is….eh-eh-eh, you see…hmmm…Francis said I should tell you that he likes you”
“O ti o! Likes me ke!! Abeg o!”
Which kain wahala be this na, I thought. These boys should just leave me alone o! I am determined to remain the good, untainted girl I have always been. I cant’ afford to disappoint my mama with all her advice to me to steer clear of boys and at 14years, I was too young to even think of having a boyfriend.
“See…Efe, plzzz just tell Francis or whatever you call him to leave me alone because I am not interested!”
“But you haven’t even let me finish…”
I turned away and marched off angrily. Glancing over my shoulder, I could see he was still standing there staring after me. I was sure I had scared him enough not to come back to me with some stupid story of some stupid boy who had decided that I was the book his father had sent him to learn in this school…Rubbish!

Some days later, I was going home after school with my friends. We all lived in the same area and as such always went home together. The trek from school to the barracks gate was as usual-Long and the blazing hot sun didn’t make it any easier. However, the gists and the banters we shared along the way made the arduous journey bearable.
“Ehen, Princesa…there is something I wanted to tell you o!”
That was Chy, the oldest in our midst. She was also the biggest and more worldly wise that all of us.
“What is it?” I was curious to know. She had this mischievous smile playing on her lips.
“You are really lucky, you know” She replied.
Now I was very curious.
“Lucky…how? Abeg tell me…what is it??”
“Somebody really likes you!” She said happily. From the look on her face, it was news for which I was supposed to be jumping for joy. I didn’t share that view. “Somebody likes me??..and I am supposed to be lucky because of that enh??”
I was visibly disappointed. I had been expecting some really BIG news and not gist about another stupid boy who liked me. Better info like she had glimpsed my report card from our form master and seen that I had 9 As or something like that.
“See this girl o! You don’t know who I am talking about, that’s why”
“And who is he?? The president’s son??...abeg close that matter…I am not interested!”
“Ol’gal, this guy is REALLY loaded o and he likes you very much too”
“Loaded ke?? You don’t seem to get it, do you?? I said I no dey for that kain game”
“Why don’t you get to know him first na?” She was unrelenting.
Who knows how much this boy don take bribe am, I thought to myself.
“Okay so what is his name and what class?”
“Ehen! Now you are talking!! His name is Francis and he is in SS2E”
Not again! This same Francis?! Him no dey tire sef. I pondered.
“Okay so this Francis sent you to me enh? I asked.
“No o! He knows we are friends and confided in me about how he felt, that’s all” She replied.
“Hmmm…hmmm” I was deep in thought.
“Why don’t you give him a chance na? you may just like him o!...Aha!...talk about the devil…there he is!”
I looked up at the direction she was pointing to. There was a group of boys ahead trekking like we were.
“Which of them is Francis?” I asked.
“The tall, dark one on the right” She replied.
I looked harder and more closely. At that same moment, he turned back and our eyes met. Wow! He must have been the most handsome boy I had seen that term. My God! He was very handsome!! Wait a minute, I had seen that face before…in fact I had caught him staring at me on a few occasions at school.
Hmmm…so he was the Francis!

Weeks later. We were in the ‘danfo’ bus headed home after school, me and my crew.
“Oya owo da(your money)! Everybody bring out ur money…I no get change o!”
It was the bus conductor.
The bus fare was five naira (N5). I had a N20 note, no N5.
“Oya you, wey your money??” he was talking to me.
I gave him my N20 note. “Take your money”
“I don tell you say I no get change and you still dey give me N20, ehn??” He complained.
“As I no come get N5 nko…wetin go happen?’ I snapped at him.
“Bring the money”, he grabbed the N20 from my hands forcefully.
Some 15minutes later, we were nearing the last bustop where everyone would have to get down. Conductor hadn’t given me my change yet.
“Conductor…where my change na…you no want give me my change again??” I shouted.
He turned and stretched his hands towards me. He was holding a N10 note and another very dirty and torn N5 note. I took the money from him and after looking at it closely, decided I wasn’t going to put that dirty and torn N5 in my purse.
“Conductor…this your N5 too dirty o! Abeg change am for me” I shouted.
“Change wetin?? Ehn??? I no tell you say I no get change before”
I wasn’t going to accept the money so I kept on.
“Take ur money o! Conductor…Conductor…you no dey hear me!!!
The conductor just ignored me. He didn’t even look back. I was surprised when minutes later, the conductor came to the back row(where I was seated) with a N20 note in his hand.
“Wey that girl? Oya take your money back. Give me that change wey I give you”
I was surprised. My friends were too.
“Wetin happen?” I asked.
“Person don pay for you for front, him say make i give you ur money back”
“Who be the person?”
“Na that boy wey dey for front” he answered.
I looked in front. There were some boys from my school in the second row. As I looked at their backs, trying to decipher who it was, one of them turned to look back, it was him...It was Francis!
Oh my God! I didn’t know he was in the bus. Now I have displayed all my razzness with this conductor and am sure he heard everything. I was red in the face.


Ps: I hope peeps like castle queen and D.O.G understand the pidgin English part of the above story. I just had to keep it real.

I am pleased to let you guys know that my resignation bluff paid off. Initially when I dropped in the resignation letter I didn’t have any standing job offer. I mean, I had attended some interviews but nothing concrete yet. However the day after I dropped in the letter, I got a call from a Public relations Firm to come in for a chat. I went and the offer was a lot better that what I was earning. I had already made up my mind that if nothing positive was done by my management; I would accept the new offer. It wasn’t my dream job but it was something.

Anyway, my boss called me and rejected the resignation letter. He didn’t want me to leave so we had to renegotiate salary and all. The offer he made me was not as much as what I would be getting in the new firm but there were other fringe benefits added to the package.

Long and short of the matter is am staying on in my current company. The pay may not be all that but I guess it’s not all about the money sometimes right? I enjoy working with my boss and he appreciates my efforts. I also believe things will improve a lot more soon and as they say, the devil you know is better that the angel you do not know!

I have called the P.R firm to reject the offer. They seemed to understand my position.

I am grateful to God for providing an opportunity to make choices for me. Some people are not that privileged.

I am also grateful to everyone who wished me luck.

Thanks and enjoy ur weekend.


Monday, January 7, 2008

Naija Bloggers Party Update

Happy new week everyone! I promised an update on the Naija Bloggers Party which is why I am posting this update. Actually this morning is very busy for me but I just had to create time to do this short post before peeps like afrobabe go strip for me here o!,lol!

The party was not a party in the sense of you know dancing, boogying and all that. I’d rather call it a ‘get together over drinks thingy’. I had suggested we hung out at the beach but most peeps didn’t buy the idea(so I was told)and so we had to settle for the bar thing.
Anyway, It was still great to meet and chat with fellow bloggers. Even though we hadn’t met prior to the party, some bloggers already feel like family to me and it was cool to finally put a face to some of them. There was unnaked soul(shy guy), manda(ol’ pal), obi (blog phantom), writefreak, favoured girl, Tayo, Fantasy queen, dscribe, dscribe’s sister(also a blogger but I forgot her name), Omohemi, jaycee, che-e-ly, Babs and who else(cant remember any more). Overwhelmed naija babe, laspapi and simplynuttie came later after I had left but we spoke over the phone.

Of note is the fact that most bloggers I met are really very good looking, nice, open and friendly.

Sorry I have to stop here. I said I was going to make this short remember? So enjoy the pics guys (Some bloggers want to remain anonymous and i had to respect their wishes so i didnt tag the pics). And afro…nobody shagged anyone(at least at the party venue) and with the cost of their drinks there I doubt if anyone got drunk(I left to early to know anyway).

Be good you all.

Thursday, January 3, 2008


Am back to Lagos and Blogville!!!
It’s a brand new year everyone and am happy to be a part of it (am sure you are too)!

I spent a week in my home town and it was one fun week. And I didn’t spend the whole time playing cinderella in the kitchen. Thanks to our new help-Happiness! That girl is just a blessing. Her presence really helped a lot. I didn’t have to work my butt off doing the house chores although I helped out where I needed to.

The trip to my village was quite uneventful. I traveled by road with a couple of friends who were also headed home (saved me the money I woulda spent on transportation). I was able to steal just a few snatches of sleep during the eight hour drive. This was unlike me cos usually I would dozed off just as soon as the engine started( I hate long road trips and the only way I keep the nausea at bay and avoid throwing up all over the place is by heading off to snoozeland). I guess I was to strung up and scared at my friend’s James Bond driving style to be able to sleep properly,lol!
Anyway we arrive in one piece and was I delighted to see my relatives again? Especially my dear old grandma. In fact I met grandma along the path to my home trekking on foot! That woman’s strength never ceases to amaze me! She even insisted on helping with my luggage, can you imagine?!

Villa was cool. Everyone was okay. Although I was given the sad news that one of my maternal uncles was shot by armed robbers on 24th of December. He had gone with his brother-in-law to purchase a new car and they were trailed by armed robbers on their way back. The devils shot him at a close range and he gave up the ghost before help could come. His brother in-law was lucky to escape unhurt. Very sad indeed! The poor man didn’t even have any kids yet!

There were lots of peeps to visit and festivities to attend. My eldest brother did the introduction thingy with his fiancee. She is also from my village. This pleased my parents greatly, they had always wanted us to marry from my hometown. Lucky him, he found some one he loved from my town. And trust my family members na, that was the perfect opportunity for everyone to remind me how dry their throats had gotten,lol! God abeg provide the man with the palmwine make ur daughter rest o!

That’s me and my eldest brother.

Me and my mum.

Unlike my trip to the village, the journey back to Lagos was quite another story. I boarded a luxury bus from my village market square. The driver of the bus and his conductor, greedy fellows were hell bent on carrying everyone they saw on the way to lagos. Even after the bus was filled, they kept on loading passengers onto the aisle. I couldn’t help wondering how those passengers could stand all through the 8 or more hours to Lagos. I guess paying half price is enough motivation for some peeps especially if the pocket is singing a certain song abi?

Bad tires and Overload equals to what my peeps? Burst Tires!!! And not even once o, Twice!!! God was indeed faithful my friends. He saved us from what would have been a terrible situation. The first time was not as bad as the second. In fact when the tire exploded, I thought we had been shot at my men of the underworld. It sounded like a bomb and we were on top speed! Thank God the driver had enough presence of mind not to step on his brakes. From what I have heard, had he done that, perhaps the story wouldn’t have been the same now.
Anyway after driving a few more meters with the mangled tyre, the driver stopped and we all got down. They didn’t have another spare tyre since they used the only one they had when we had the first flat. Luckily for us, another bus from the same transport company soon came along and gave us their spare tyre. I wondered what they would do if they were unfortunate to lose a tyre on their way.

The mangled tyre.

Finally we go to Lagos at about 7pm(a whole 10 hours after we left the village at 9am).
I couldn’t wait to have a proper meal and sleep. A new year had started!


I was promoted at my office. I know am supposed to be happy right? But funny enough am handing in my resignation letter today. No, I haven’t found a new job and I didn’t win the visa lottery to America either.
The thing is I feel I deserve to earn a lot better than am earning currently especially as things are looking up for the company. Even with the pay raise (cos of the promotion) I am still not satisfied so am playing my ace. The resignation letter is all a bluff but my boss doesn’t know this. Its supposed to scare the management into some positive action (increase my salary,lol! I just pray the plan doesn’t backfire o!).

Anyway am quite confident, it will all end up for good cos I don’t think they(company’s management) will want to let me go that easily. You see, am proud to say that over the past 3 years I have proven my worth and I believe a few more thousands (naira no be dollars o! lol) is not too much for them to sacrifice. You can’t blame a sister for wanting some xtra change, will you? lol!

So fingers crossed, let’s see how it all plays out.

Shot out to andy who got married over the holidays. So you finally did it enh? Am sure the waiting was worth it. So if the world was to end, we won’t have to wish for that again would we? *wink*,lol!
Shout out to runaway manda who finally updated her blog. Babe I hope you blasted that exam o!
Shout out to my man G! I love you bro. Need to chat one of these days.
Shout out to my darling cally(you know why girl). I loved it, I did!
Shout out to my girl, jaybabe. That post of urs was so thoughtful.
Shout out to afrobabe, blogstalker of the year award goes to you love.
A final shout out to every member of my blog fam. You guys are da bomb

Date- Saturday Jan 5th
Time- 4pm
Venue- 10/14 Saka Tinubu Street(Beside Intercontinental bank) Victoria Island, Lagos.