Thursday, January 24, 2008


I got this in my mail box and it was so funny i had to share especially since this is the season for love(Valentine is around the corner). These letters may just be the stuff to impress that love of your life,lol!

Take your mind back to those years when you were always thinking of one idiomatic expression to compose a letter to your girl friend/boyfriend(secondary school days).

Take time to go through this and laugh it out.
From Those Days When Love Was Fun & Didn't Cost So Much!!...

At school, July 10, 1978.
My dearest, sweetest, fondest, fantastic, extra-ordinary, paragon of beauty a.k.a Rose.
I hope this letter meets you in a fabulous state of metabolism, if so doxology. My principal aim of writing this letter to you is to gravitate your mind towards a matter of global and universal importance, which has been troubling my soul.
The matter is so important. Even as I am writing, my adrenaline is 100 per cent on the Richter scale, my temperature is rising, the wind vane of my mind is pointing North, South and East at the same time; the mirror in my eyes has only your divine image. Indeed when I sleep, you are the one in my medulla oblongata, and I dream about you.
I went out to sea in my dream, and I saw you: surrounded by H2o and you In your majesty rose from the abdomen of the sea like Yemoja, the avatar Of beauty. Oh, Lord be with us! We are thy servants. As you can see, I am in a serious dilemma. And I want you to take my Matter seriously.
At this juncture, what our Lord said on this matter is germane. He says we should ask, and we shall be given, we should seek and we Will find, and that we should knock, and it will be opened unto us.
In this 10th day of the seventh month in the year of our Lord, one thousand, Nine hundred and seven eight, asking, seeking and knocking at your door.
My prayer is that thou should open so that thy servant can enter. I want to wake up in the morning and see only your face.
I want you to be the only sugar in my tea, the only fly in my ointment, the butter on my bread, the grey matter of my system, the oxygen in my head, the planet of my universe, the wall clock of my room, the conveyor belt of my soul. I pray that you realized the gargantuan nature of my predicament.
If you refuse, my life will be like tea without sugar, like a snail without shell, an Xmas goat without a horn; in fact I'd become an orphan.
In fact I'd kill myself. What is life if I can't wake up in the morning and behold your face? You model of pulchritude, patiently created by God on a Sunday morning before he went on a deserved holiday. Please Rose, let me be your Romeo. Make me the Adam to your Eve. Shakespeare said it
all: "if music be the food of love, play on." I want to emphasize, universally and responsibly, that you are love itself. You are the metaphor, oxymoron, thesis, antithesis, irony, gerund, conjunction and the adverb of love.
At this juncture, let me also say that the geography of your body is a permanent alleluia. Not from your body, ammonia, urea and iodine- you are too beautiful for that, what I see in your body is milk and honey.
At this juncture, brevity is the soul of wit. A stitch in time saves nine. Procrastination is the thief of time. An opportunity once lost can never be regained. Make hay while the sun shines. All that glitters is not gold.
The journey of a thousand years begins with a step. What God has put Together let no man put asunder. To be a man is not an easy task even if God's Time is the best. But time waits for no one. A man without love is like a Fish out of water. I know you are a sagacious girl. If you like the veracity of what I am saying, please fill the attached form and let me have it pronto. The mark at the bottom of this page is a kiss from me to you.
I remain Your beloved, faithful, loyal, One and only admirer.

** ROLL DOWN TO YOU ** KISS BEFORE YOU READ ** " P D N F"--- please do no fold.
Sweetiepie Babe!
Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. Why! this miraculous thing happened is because papie I love you spontaneously and as I stand horizontal to the wall and perpendicular to the ground I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous guy. Papie please Stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat. To me each day starts by thinking of you and ends by dreaming of you. Each time I see you my metabolism suddenly stops and my
peristalysis goes in reverse gear My medular-oblandata also stops functioning.
Crazy crazy crazy you may say but this is true. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon you would understand. That's why I need to see you face to face with you, soon. I think I have to pen-off hear because I still haven't finished studying electrolysis and polymerization. Catch you pa- later. Sleep tight and don't let those bed bugs ever bite you coz you are too sweet a thing for them.

Yourz Ever,
Sugar tapi tapi

** KISS BEFORE YOU READ ** " P D N F"--- please do no fold
My Love, My Sugar, i was exasperated with pride to have received one from you, the lungs in my body flapped with joy when i have been reading your letter. Anyway by now you have reached the realisations to why i am jotting this small letter to you, yes it is to see if you are
keeping with the sands of time.
How is everything on that other side of yours? Well here everything is just half lemon half sugar to makeit schweppes. How is your schooling?
How are you pulling the wagons of life? I am just pulling the schooling thing like a donkey pulling a cart.
My honie, i am missing you very much right now, my heart is perambulating with every word that i write, if it was not for these oceans that decided to flow between us then i would get on the next bus to come and see you, but until then i know that i will not hesitate to put this blue blood on this paper and write to you. I remember that day lovie, that one sweet day as Maria Curry sanged it, you know that it is my favorites song honie, the one day that we were boarding the combies and you escorted me to my home, walking with you just brought sweet dreams to me
for the rest of my life honie.
If words of love could ride a bicycle I would be competing againstDiego Maradona. Anyways, i will not stop you from reading the books that give you life and education so I will stop here for today.
Please always writing to me because I am missing you like sugar misses tea. You can see my foto below.
My dedications to you are :

Maria Curry - One Sweet Day.
Boys to Main - And of the Rod

Keep well my mop of my heart, Yours in flesh and in blood,

Sugar Baby
P.S. Sorry about my english, I did not learn anymore.

Ha ha ha ha ha...these guys are a serious trip mehn!
Please show some love to this new blogger guys.


Sasuke said...

Hilarious oh almost like having to watch to drunk male he-goats try to make love.. but i feel their passion though,nice one princessa. would be nice if you could visit my just opened blog and maybe post a comment. the address is

Allied said...

Lol... where should i even begin? Although, i miss the days of hand writen love letters; I do NOT miss the nonsense i just read... The first one with Yemoja and GOD? Oh my? and what's with the word Medullar oblongata?

I updated

Olamild said...



desperate lady said...

LMFAOOOOOO! Xmas goat without it's horn......kai!
i'll go check Sasuke out.

fantasy queen said...

princesa...only u dey recieve all those letters? u musta been HAWTTTT!

em' good ol' days of writting letters wit 'in my bed' as the addy, the drolling ur heart out, spraying ur perfume, or better still mums designer perfume on it...(wait o, i'm not talking about this 'only mosquitoe in my net')

@desperate lady, amen, someone beat u to it here, u've got competition girl, and i love it...and u're already rushing off to conquer/lay stake on her blog?...i need ur stamina'

Rayo said...

LMAO!!!@ the first one. I actually posted the other two on my blog before...with pictures (you have to see it lol)

Arewa said... tummy hurts from all those expressions and laughter. This definately brings back memories.....nice one
Hope ur cool . Stay blessed
xx x x

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

lmao..some corny stuff

argghhh valentines
*spits in disgust*

dont worry I am having my depressing moments

thanks for the message you left.very nice of you..I updataed incase your wondering what happened

Mommy said...

lol...babes you just made my day. teheheheheheh....thank you so much for making me laugh so hard this morning. If you visit mine, you'll understand. I remember receiving one of those silly letters o...I was in Primary five...not secondary yet sef! hehehehe..and no way...I did not reply o! lol

30+ said...

LMAO honest where did you get this.

All the English is scattering my head.

princesa said...

@sasuke, welcome to blogville dude. I don sign signature for ur blog already.
@allied,lol! One man’s nonsense is another’s… Checking out urs soon.
@olamild, Is that laughter in Yoruba?lol!
@DL,lol! Can you imagine? Saw u at sasuke’s, thanks dear.
@fantasy queen, those are not my letters o!lol am sure u know anyway.
So you wrote them old school love letters too, can we see an excerpt sweetie?
DL’s taken over from afrobabe this year o! I see the babe first on most blogs…talk about stamina.
@rayo, lol! I’ve seen your post, complete with the old school pics,funny!
@arewa, sorry about ur tummy love. So what memories does it bring back?? Tell us now o!
@zephi, someone’s not in the valentine mood at all. Take it easy girl, everything will be just fine soon. Will read your update.
@mommy, glad I made u laugh. Visiting ur blog soon, I ope you have that gist up o!
@30+, I got it in my mail o! The English dey very fantabulous and CoKastic,lol!

eddiie said...


I miss those days too.I must reemphasis..what kind of gal were you? I mean this guy was not just writing a letter of the 70's but to come up with all tehat data? Gal...the guy was into your adrenaline....

That is some hell of a piece of letter.God!!! I was the one? i think i wouldnt have read the whole week and did nothing but read and re-read and re-re-read that letter...

Eeeeeh!! But i loved this impossibility,,...."A man without love is like a Fish out of water"

Julius? THE KING OF LOVE LETTERS...No wonder the princess has kept this piece uptodate....

Great great stuff...

eddiie said...

Again this throws me into asking....

For christs sake...WHY DID MOBILE PHONES COME?!!!!

Gosh!! the flavour has been lost a little you know save for the distance thing....But for such a letter, it was worth a month ot two wait...

Tayo said...

Princesa, na only you receive all these letters? Oya show us the ones wey you sef write. Oya oya, sharp sharp

pamelastitch said...


Love is BRINDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD as someone used to say...

eddiie said...

@pamela? what English is that? that someone must have been taught a mother tongue Enlgish,

Sha said...

hahaha gosh.. *memories

Obi said...

Whatever happened to the "dove bathed in milk" guy..??

Isi said...

i just read the first line and i started laughing. princesa u no go kill me! lol!

princesa said...

@eddie,lol!now am very sure you were the Julius that wrote that first letter.
Am grateful for computers and mobile phones o!Cant even imagine life without them now.

@tayo,hmmm okay so na me receive the letters but na you write them abi?lol!

@pammy,BRIND ke?!lol!
@eddie,lol! You saw that dude! Must be an Anambra man from Nigeria.

@sha,hmmmm, nostalgia?
@obi,only you would remember that! Naughty you.

princesa said...

@isi, you just read one line and cracked? I wonder wetin go happen when you read am finish,lol!

Afrobabe said...

22nd keh....noooo this is not fair...

princesa has changed the profile first I tot I was in the wrong

will copy this letters,spray some perfume,kiss it with red lipstick and send to ................

Afrobabe said...

na true oh...where your reply????


ha does if so doxology letters were the shiznit back in d day sha. what the hell doe sit mean anyway?? if so doxology...

darkelcee said...


can you beat that? this na "luf"not love?

H2O? what the heck?

Allied said...

@36 - doxlogy means Praise be to God. It the the songs in hyms..

bumight said...

this reminds me of a chat i had with my bf a while ago

bf: wassup? how r you? hope fine. if so, doxology!!!
just bumped into ur profile while cruising around this medium usually referred to as the internet.
I was just ruminating in my busy workshop,( my mind) and wondering if you will be interested in going out wif me .... like a dinner date...smtime this weekend...
i will be elated if u can accomodate my proposed proposal in ur undoubtedly saturated schedule.

yours expectantly,

me: My dearest, I hope this letter meets you in a fabulous state of metabolism, if so doxology. My principal aim of writing this letter to you is to answer the missive which you penned to me at 12:59 hrs on this day the thirteenth of september , in the year two thousand and seven.
After processing your request in the deep crevices of my medulla oblongata, I am elated to inform you that I can accomodate your proposal. I will get inscribe more details to your correspondence at a later time, preferrably this night.

Yours Sincerely,

bf: My Sugar cube,
I am very estactic to be assimilating the content of your missive, it is with a trailer load of joyous celebration that i spill this black blood over this white paper.
I will be expecting your more detailed response this night...i will be like the husband who is waiting for his bride!!


me:In that case,at this juncture, brevity is the soul of wit. A stitch in time saves nine. Procrastination is the thief of time. An opportunity once lost can never be regained. Make hay while the sun shines. All that glitters is not gold. The journey of a thousand years begins with a step.
See you tonight

So long,

bf: Ditto!!

pamelastitch said...

Being half Anambra, half something else...could be anyone...

Anyways, the person who used to say that was from Cameroun.


Sparkle said...

LOL good times! DOXOLOGY...LOL dat just made me laugh!!!

and most of them get their pik up lines from the bible..Songs of Solomon...and us too go dey feelo like we're d shit back then!!! Mehn time flies!!!

nameless.poetical. said...

loooooooooooooool!!!!! i read d first one and was dying of laughter!!!

"At this juncture, brevity is the soul of wit. A stitch in time saves nine. Procrastination is the thief of time. An opportunity once lost can never be regained. Make hay while the sun shines. All that glitters is not gold."

which one come concern glittering gold again??????

i dont have time to read the rest right now..but il make sure i check it out tomorrow so i can go to work with a smile on my face :p

psshhht...sugar in my tea..LMAO!!!!!

little miss me said...

all i can say is: Thank God For Instant Messaging!!!

fantasy queen said...

AFROBABE..i trust u to o that one, and i seriously do not think u're joking(afterall vals in the corner innit)

Manda said...

lol.... i got more of potraits and cards o! but i sure remember dat doxology part. u no serious o!

Oracle said...

I couldn't help lauhging
The grammar in those letters is something else

Afrobabe said...

@ fantasy queen...if so style beats a card from the shops doesn't it?

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...


princesa said...

@afro, yes babe, I changed my profile pic. Tying to be anonymous small small like you na,lol! Small time I go comot the photo slide for my blog sef. So tell me, is the new profile pic better?
Lol@ copying the letters, spraying perfume and kisses and sending them to….My dear, if you no want spend val alone, no try am o!lol!
…my reply for where??
@36, it was very important to have doxology in your letters then abi?lol!
@allied, hmmm so that’s what it means? Thanks for giving us that info.
@bumight,ROTFLMAO!!! Babes Did that convo hold for real??? E be like say u and ur bf go that OLD SCHOOL sef o!
@pammy, sure it wasn’t you?lol!
@sparkle, yes o! I remember when I was in my first yr in Uni, one toaster wrote a love letter to my roommate. It was copied word for word from songs of Solomon,lol!
@nameless poetical, glad you found it funny.
@lil’ miss me, I concur o! Thank God for IM.
@fantasyqueen, I think you are right. With afro…anything can happen,lol!
@manda, where did u crawl out from babe?
@oracle, seriously there should be a fine for committing such grammatical crime,lol!
@afrobabe, lol! I don dey warn you o! Make that guy no tear race,You dey far so I cant keep you warm on Vals day o!
@catwalq, how u doing girl?

Mommy said...

Hey babes, just checking in on you. How are you? Smashing I hope? If so, doxology! hehehehehehehe
Cheers Babes!

Ms. emmotions said...


still laughin oo

Today's ranting said...

Wow!this is really hillarious.Where did u get this stuff from?I'm still reeling with laughter........hahahahahaha.....

sanjeet said...

Hello this post is delightful.
I like your blog..

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