Monday, January 21, 2008


Someone is pissing me off seriously o!
I wish I could just lay my hands on that person so I can wring her(it’s a she) neck. Okay…Okay maybe not that drastic but I’d love to give the heffer a good piece of my mind.
Let me get to the gist of the matter jare.
For the past two weeks, someone has been ‘flashing’ me.

For those who don’t understand what ‘Flashing’ means. To ‘Flash’ means to dial a person’s number and just when the phone starts ringing you cut it off before the person picks it up.
People ‘Flash’ for different reasons. Some ‘Flash’ when they don’t have phone credit and really need to speak to someone urgently. Some others ‘Flash’ just cos they are idle and don’t have something better to do so they think it’s a great idea to BUG someone else and constitute a nuisance. I TOTALLY dislike being ‘Flashed’. In fact most of my friends know I don’t take lightly to Flashing. If you want me to call you, you can at least spend five seconds credit to say-“Please call me back” or better still, send a text!

So back to my initial gist. This person has been ‘Flashing’ me like crazy these past couple of weeks. Sometimes, I’ll leave my phone on my desk only to come back and find 5 missed calls all from the same number in a space of 5minutes. 1 Flash per minute…crazy! I knew it was a ‘Flasher’ cos on some occasions I’d be holding my phone when the calls come in and just immediately it’d cut off. This was definitely a professional flasher with lots of experience.

So, Many flashes later and an irritated me, I called back.
Me: “Hello who is this?”
Flasher (A female voice): “Hello…who is dat?”
Me: “Someone has been Flashing me with this number, I just want to know who it is”
Flasher: “Na Business Center be dis”
Me: “Business Center?? So who is the idiot that has been flashing me with Business center line, ehn?? You better do something better with your time! Hissssssssss!!!
I cut off the line. It was a waste of my precious phone credit. I thought that was the last of it. Poor me, i didn’t know better.
Days later, I picked up my phone. Two missed calls. I recognized the number, yea it was the same damned number! I wasn’t going to call back this time…had better things to do with my time and credit.
And the flasher kept on. It became a daily affair. So I thought maybe the person had returned to the business center and wanted me to call back and I was getting really pissed off so I called back again.
Me: “Hello, who is this?”
Flasher (Same female voice o): *Funny language*
Me (Not understanding a word): “Whatever it is you are speaking…I beg you don’t call my phone again!”
I cut off the line. What kind of insane joke is this for God’s sake?! This is not funny at all.
Not quite two minutes later. Same number flashing me again. Wetin I do this person wey e no want let me rest ke??? This person want see my red eye sha.
Flash one, I ignored it.
Flash two, I still ignored it.
Flash three, My eyes are getting red now.
Flash Four, I can’t ignore this again. So am calling back, this time poison tongue ready.
Me: (See Me see wahala o!) Are you ok at all? So why did you flash me if you didn’t want me to call you back?? STOP FLASHING ME O!!!”
Flasher: “Gerraway, *some other insulting words*
This time the idiot cut off the phone.
I was still smarting from the insult when my ringtone came on again. I looked at the handset. It was the same number!
God knows, I’ll never call that number again but it’s really irking me.
God…I wish I could lay my hands on that heffer!

This post reminded me of another annoying Flasher experience I had last year. Then I was still using my old handset that had battery problems. I’d charge it till it showed-Battery Full. However just one call and the phone would go dead.
I was still managing my old phone and praying to buy a new one soon when this crazy Flasher got hold of my number and decided I wasn’t going to rest. This one was also a female (Wat’s with female flashers sef?)and a crazy Jim Iyke fan or so it seemed.
One day, after series of flashing(I think it was after the 30th flash). I was irritated as usual and I called back the number.
Me: “Hello who is this?”
Crazy Flasher: “Hello…I want to speak to Jim Iyke”
Me: “Jim Iyke?? This isn’t Jim Iyke number, This is my number and I don’t

like you flashing me every minute. Pls stop flashing my number”
Crazy Flasher: “Give the phone to Jim Iyke, I want to talk to him”
Me: “You don’t understand English in the afternoon or what?? I said there is no

Jim Iyke here, Stop calling this number!”
I dropped the line.
The crazy flasher continued flashing crazily and my poor phone, it couldn’t withstand the barrage of flashing so it would always go dead.
One night I was waiting for a call. NEPA had struck so there was no way to charge the phone so there I was praying that my battery would last when this crazy flasher started the usual flashing.
Flash 1. I prayed... God let it be just once.
Flash 2. No more, no more.
Flash 3. Now I knew things were serious. I had to call and warn this crazy girl before she kills my battery.
Me: “Hey, stop flashing me, you are running down my battery”
Crazy Flasher: “ I want to speak to Jim Iyke”
Me: “ I have told you this isn’t Jim Iyke’s number, Stop calling this phone!”
Crazy Flasher: “Just give Jim Iyke the phone, I want to talk to him”
Me: Even if this was Jim Iyke’s number. With the way you flash, do you think he’d want to

speak to you?? Just stop killing my battery with ur stupid flashes abeg!.
Crazy Flasher: “Idiot, Stupid, You dey craze!’
Me(stunned): “You must be demented”
Phone cut.
The Kolo case didn’t stop flashing o! It went on and on till she finally grew tired or perhaps realized that Jim Iyke was never calling her back.

I hope this new Flasher stops soon o unless…..SHARIA!!!lol!


onydchic said...

W00t! 1st!
Anyway, feel ur pain on the flashing thing. I suggest flat-out ignoring it. I had a similar situation with some guy i met someweher i couldnt get rid off. So I gave him my no. He proceeded to 'flash' (never call o, upon everything) at least 20-25 times a day. I never called him back once. He probably got tired within 4 days.

Whoever it is will lose patience evntually when they see u'll never call back!

Girlie said...

AM SECOND AM SECOND,....HEHEHEHE.okay am off to read!!! desperate lady says secure ur position befor u read...

desperate lady said...

Lol @ girlie, yes o secure it.
Onydchic today is ur lucky day.
Well I'm 3rd sha, not bad at all.
Now ma position is secured, let me go read.

Olamild said...

EIyaaaaaa poor u

Na wa for some psychos o

desperate lady said...

Lmaooooooooooo that was sooo funny.
Lol @ u don't understand english in d afternoon and gerraway(I can imagine how she said it)
Well maybe u should change ur number or block d number 4rm calling u.


hehehe. They just want to get you worked up. I have the same experience but this time the person calls and everytime i pick up, he starts speaking hausa. This has been going on for like 3/4 months and i keep telling him i dont know what he is saying(in english of ofcourse) but he keeps calling.I am assuming he doesn't hear english anyway.

Anyway, no mind them. na so dem dey do.

bumight said...

lol @ u dont understand english in the afternoon...

bumight said...

lol @ u dont understand english in the afternoon...

princesa said...

@onydchic, wow babes! You seem to be on a roll. Looks like you don overthrow afrobabe,lol! Two words for that useless flasher guy…Ewu Mmee!
Am ignoring the losers flat-out hence forth.

@girlie, where u at? Still reading??

@DL,lol!Blogville teacher ehn? Everyone's taking lessons now,lol!
BTW, am waiting to know how it went with ur sis.
I wish i could block those numbers but the network here doesnt allow for that, You can only bar incoming/outgoing calls which menas i get to bar everyone from calling me which i cant do.

@olamild, no mind dem psychos o!

@why would someone want to get me worked up? Wetin i do them?? I no snatch anybody BF na!
That hausa man na wa o! Well na im credit dey burn abi?
I wish these ones would call instead of flashing.

@bumight,yes o! I had to ask, just incase,lol!

darkelcee said...

LMAO..... some people are mental case!

I used to do "big" chic and call them back but when i discovered that some people are just not normal! i stopped it

I will never call you back if i dont have you name saved on my phone.

Dont have the time or energy now.

Pele try and ignore dem flashers @ least your phone no dey run down again!

30+ said...

Ndo Princessa.

That business centre lady is def off her rockers.

Lol at Jim Iyke caller sha.

Carlang said...

I should stop??

Afrobabe said...

lol...its carlang...

mannn those flashes can be annoying, i had to call someone who flashes all the way from naija to warn him oh...and when I asked him what exactly he wanted the fool said Man u jersey...can you imagine the illiterate,I didnt even know him...said he was related...

Zephi said... dear ever since I came from naija na so so flash people they flash..some of them they will actually call everyday to say hi, thing is I did not even yarn with these peope that much when I was in naija and are not even close to them, but they insist on calling everyday to say seriously dont they have better things to do with their credit

pamelastitch said...


Simple solution:
1) change numbers - (defeatist I know) but hey sometimes you have to take really desperate steps.

2) don't pick up her calls.

LOL!! By the way, did these women see you for dream....

La Reine said...

I definitely feel your pain.
'Cept my flashers seem to be cheapstakes that ring endlessly with private numbers and hang up if I attempt to pick up(who Does that?) or at too-early hours of the morning. Like 3am

diary of a G said...

demented people sha
what else can u say?

little miss me said...

lol how annoying!

guerreiranigeriana said...

lmao...what an imbicile she is!...i hate that flashing rubbish!!...if you don't have credits o, don't call me...i hope they stop too... hehn...i waited in the corner for you and you never showed this princess...;)

UnNaked Soul said...

If there is book of record on rcvn flashes I think I go don carry some award go home... there was a day I got 105 flash from one individual in a day... I almost wept like Jesus. LOL

Ejura said...

I took one silly flasher's number to MTN office December last year to make a complaint. I was sick and tired of the sicko who inspite of my death threats to him wouldn't stop. I got to MTN,met a staff and told him everything. The staff was like I didn't have anything to hold the man on. So I added that he also had been calling me and asking for my account number and all. Long story short that was the last I heard of the flasher.

Ejura said...

LOL @ afrobabe. Flashing you all the way from Naija? Fancy that!

Naija Chickito said...

LOL. Felt like wringing her neck while reading your post. Shuo!

Ms. emmotions said...

a nut case u got here,

tell him jim iyke is dead,

that should calm

Mommy said...

Okaaaaaayyyyy! So I'm way down here ehn. Chei!! My computer went bunkers this past week. I could visit blogs...but couldn't comment. Today I'm able to comment and I am down here. Let me 'secure' lol this space. I'll be right back. Let me go read the flasher tory. Very annoying.

Mommy said...

My advice...just ignore!! The flasher'd definitely get tired.
Hmmm...Your first love conclusion. Got myself a box of tissue...sat down smiling, crying and blowing my nose. Why? Just brought back sweet memories.
Permit me to steal the topic for my next post. hehehe...

guerreiranigeriana said...

you know, in my normal life, i can spell...imbicile should be imbecile...sorry...

princesa said...

@darkelcee, I think dats a cool idea-not calln those whose numbers are not on ur phone.
@30+, Thanks o! The woman just don kolo.
@carlang, lol! You silly guy. Okay plzzzzzzzz stop!!!
@afrobabe, LMAO!!! Man U jersey Ko! Arsenal Jersey ni! Flashing you from naija,…Mehn that’s crazy crazy! Related he said? Probably ur Grandmas Uncle’s sister’s son-in-law.
@zephi,lol! They probably want some Man U jerseys too abi na boots dem want sef, lol!
@pammy,lol! Solution 1…na na na! Solution 2…more like it! I no know whether them see me for dream sha abi I snatch their bobos unknowingly??
@la reine,lol! 3am ke?? Cheapskates really cos its even free at that time.
@DOG, nothing else bro…demented peeps jare!
@lil’miss me, really annoying.
@guerriera,lol! I knew it was a typo babes. You too intelligent for that now . Okay just wait for me at the corner still am on my way,lol!
@unnaked, 105 flashes?!?! Jesus!! That’s a candidate for Yaba mental home o!
@Ejura,lol!!! Babes that was one sharp move there. BTW, wetin do ur blog, I tried to access it and it wasn’t going. Ope say u never shut am down o!
@Naija Chickito, lol! Thanks babe, I also feel like wringing her neck too.
@Ms. Emotions, lol! Jim iyke never die na.
@mommy,lol! Its happened to me sometimes too. Very frustrating really. I think it has to do with blogger. The thing just acts up sometimes. Awwwh…that post really touched a lot of people. Cant wait to read ur next post.
@guerriera, lol! Gerraway,lol!

Afrobabe said...

haa...Tot it was only me who couldn't get on Ejura's blog oh...was beginning to wonder if I dreamt up the whole blog...

Allied said...

I know imbeciles that flash me all the way from Nigeria at ungodly hours. Imagine, do you really think i will call you back at 3am or 4am?

cally-waffybabe said...

Err i just flashed your three phones before i read that you said we should tell you to ring us back or better still send a text. Okay this is my smart way of sending a text. Please ring me back. ROTFLMAO!!!

princesa said...

@afrobabe, its not only you o! At first i thot, it was from my connection till i tried like 3 times and still no blog link. Ejus baby abeg no do us like dat o!

@allied, oh you too! i mean what's up with these annoying Naija flashers sef?!

@cally,lol babes! What a smart way indeed!! Will ring u later. Ope u got my msg.

Ejura said...

I am a ghost blogger at the moment. Long story how it happened but thing is I no longer have a body. My spirit just flows round blogsville that's why you haven't been able to access my blog. With any luck I may get a second chance [R u guys fans of mexican soaps. That Salvador is a hunk, no?]
So that's my story. Afrobabe, i visit you almost every day just that you cannot see me. Princesa I'm at your home rite now but you can't see this is getting weird. Ciao!

Miss Maple said...



I had a similar experience with some dude who sells spare parts at lawanson.
This ‘fello’ was so persistent that he began sending silly sms’s to me. ( this went on for like a year o)
Unfortunately for him on one faithful day he sent me one of those his annoying sms’s which caught me at a very very vary bad time ( was having man trouble)

I picked up my phone and sent him something close to the following (cant rem what I sent exactly):

I have warned you repeatedly to stop smsing or calling me.
But since u insist, I promise you I will use all my energy to ask the devil to descend on you.
For every time my peace is disturbed cos of yr flash or sms I want you to know I will immediately asked the devil to hold you and never let you go.
Note that I won’t stop doing this until you stop flashing me.

Needless to say that was the last time he flashed or sms’s me.
Case closed.

Jaybabe said...

Thats soo bloody annoying Princessa! Nonsense! I just got annoyed like now!

Anyway i hope you've cooled down now ehh?


Man, my recent visit to Naija made me realize this phone wahala. Flashing is legal in Naija o!
Honestly, some people do not deserve having a phone that doesn't have credit and they never use it to make a phone call; but only flashes you whenever they want you to call them back. that's just plainly insane!
9ja's can flash for real! Funny thing is; you Flash someone, they Flash you back; like it's a Fucking Flash Fest! Talk on your darn fone, people or jusst get rid of it!

princesa said...

@ejura, ghost blogger ke? Which one is long story abi is dat ur new year resolution-to abandon ur beloved readers??
Okay pretty plzzzzz, re open the blog na, biko, ejoooooo!

Salvador! Second chance!! That guy is tew tew foine! See the biceps and the six pack...kai!

...and i can see youuuu!

@miss maple, lol! Wetin u and spare parts dealer dey do??
Nonsence and fried chickenss! Why e no be better person dey send the sms na?
Anyway i like dat ya move sha, afraid catch the man quick quick,lol!

@jaybabe, i don cool down my sis. Funny enough the COW hasnt flashed since yesterday o! Maybe she reads my blog,lol!

@nigeria politricks, Bros..flashing is SERIOUSLY legal in naija o! Infact if you dont know how to flash you never start to use phone,lol!Some peeps buy phones just to flash sef!
"Fucking Flash Fest"...LMAO!

Florida of Free Spirit said...

lol... ms emmotions!!! jim iyke don die!!!! u r not serious o. but anyways, it's really a problem in naija. daz one dat happened to me; a guy who was convinced dat was someone wot knowing, & so he'd flash me till d time i accept 2 know him. I sent him a text telling him i was in a secret cult & we r looking 4 fresh blood. He replied says my evil will not get him, dat he's covered with d blood of Jesus!!! lmao. he left me alone sha - until dis year. e don start again

Doja said...

when i was a kid we used to call peoples nitel phones for fun! I feel really stupid now, i cannot believe we did that, it must have been very distressing for them.
But at least we were kids, talk about adults behaving badly!

Andy said...

Princesa, is there no way you can block the damn number?
Anyway, how u dey?

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

one of the resons i lived 3 yrs w/o a phone LOL

fantasy queen said...

flashers kill me, u shd have blabbed one num out to the person as jim ikye's, preferably an annoying toasters

i worked for a paper in the north briefly, n they stupidly but my num next to my photo above my article...jeez, the flashes my phone recieved, i'd call back only to hear some juvenile, not just saying he loved my article but he was in love with me, i even got proposals, c me c trouble, u flash me to propose, how do u expect to feed me?

its so annoying.

Toochi said...

Flashing sucks and i'm sooo not in support of it!
i wonder why some people tell me "flash me so i ca call back".
well....for some people i'd make that exception:)
but it still sucks

Carlang said...

I can't take it anymore.
Not being able to flash you.

To connect with you, however brief.
To sense your divertion in attention when your phone ring.
Knowing as you reach for your phone, as your heart rate quickens ,as your eyebrows purse softly in curiosity, that you do this all for me.

For seconds ,however brief, Your entire mind is dedicated to the mystery of who i am.

I miss all this.

Dear Princessa,
Let me flash you again!!

eddiie said...


so am in this famous bloggers page..Home !!!

Well, this being my first time here....may i be shown where to sit? Where can i sit princes?...ok thank you...

Now, a glass of water now? Yes every where i go ,am always given water for starters....

And because ma a visitor, ama not read the post and instead look around and admire may be the pics...

Next time i will not be a visitor so i will comment well enough...ok?..thanks

eddiie said...


princesa said...

@florida, lol! That was scary babes! I mean the looking for blood part. I wonder what story you’d give him now he has started again.

@doja, we all did silly stuffs we are not proud of as kids so don’t beat up urself. It is most annoying when it’s a grown up adult that you’d expect to be more reasonable.

@I dey fine my brother. Wish I could block the number but I cant! So you just seeing the shout out enh? Its all good. So how is our new groom doing?

@Torrance, lol! No flasher can make me abandon my phone o!

@fantasy queen, lol! Babes you harsh o! Flashing someone to toast/propose marriage?? Na wa to some people sha.

@toochi, people tell you to flash them so they call you back if they think you don’t have tha money to burn. That’s considerate and at least they told you to flash so its not bad. It sucks even more when its someone you don’t even know doing the flashing.

Dude you on crack or what??
You are just a trip dear. What would blogvile be without ur sense of humour.
Oya you can flash…just one more time,lol!

@eddie, welcome to my blog. As its ur first time you get a seat on the HIGHTABLE,lol! And am not giving you water but champagne, ope you like it.
You are allowed to look around like a JJC(Johny just come) but next time you gotta read okay:)

iheuko said...

firstly, i must say that i feel elated to be on princesa's blog. as annoying as it seem though, let's look at it from this perspertive, an avenue of constantly reminding your friends that hey! i still have you in my thoughts. but not with respect to princesa's case. i probably feel the person is justed obsessed with the act of flashing or simply with you.

Calabar Gal said...

You would have given the phone to 'Jim Iyke' to speak to her and cool her down. LOL!!