CRAZY FLASHERS DON COME AGAIN O!

Someone is pissing me off seriously o!
I wish I could just lay my hands on that person so I can wring her(it’s a she) neck. Okay…Okay maybe not that drastic but I’d love to give the heffer a good piece of my mind.
Let me get to the gist of the matter jare.
For the past two weeks, someone has been ‘flashing’ me.

For those who don’t understand what ‘Flashing’ means. To ‘Flash’ means to dial a person’s number and just when the phone starts ringing you cut it off before the person picks it up.
People ‘Flash’ for different reasons. Some ‘Flash’ when they don’t have phone credit and really need to speak to someone urgently. Some others ‘Flash’ just cos they are idle and don’t have something better to do so they think it’s a great idea to BUG someone else and constitute a nuisance. I TOTALLY dislike being ‘Flashed’. In fact most of my friends know I don’t take lightly to Flashing. If you want me to call you, you can at least spend five seconds credit to say-“Please call me back” or better still, send a text!

So back to my initial gist. This person has been ‘Flashing’ me like crazy these past couple of weeks. Sometimes, I’ll leave my phone on my desk only to come back and find 5 missed calls all from the same number in a space of 5minutes. 1 Flash per minute…crazy! I knew it was a ‘Flasher’ cos on some occasions I’d be holding my phone when the calls come in and just immediately it’d cut off. This was definitely a professional flasher with lots of experience.

So, Many flashes later and an irritated me, I called back.
Me: “Hello who is this?”
Flasher (A female voice): “Hello…who is dat?”
Me: “Someone has been Flashing me with this number, I just want to know who it is”
Flasher: “Na Business Center be dis”
Me: “Business Center?? So who is the idiot that has been flashing me with Business center line, ehn?? You better do something better with your time! Hissssssssss!!!
I cut off the line. It was a waste of my precious phone credit. I thought that was the last of it. Poor me, i didn’t know better.
Days later, I picked up my phone. Two missed calls. I recognized the number, yea it was the same damned number! I wasn’t going to call back this time…had better things to do with my time and credit.
And the flasher kept on. It became a daily affair. So I thought maybe the person had returned to the business center and wanted me to call back and I was getting really pissed off so I called back again.
Me: “Hello, who is this?”
Flasher (Same female voice o): *Funny language*
Me (Not understanding a word): “Whatever it is you are speaking…I beg you don’t call my phone again!”
I cut off the line. What kind of insane joke is this for God’s sake?! This is not funny at all.
Not quite two minutes later. Same number flashing me again. Wetin I do this person wey e no want let me rest ke??? This person want see my red eye sha.
Flash one, I ignored it.
Flash two, I still ignored it.
Flash three, My eyes are getting red now.
Flash Four, I can’t ignore this again. So am calling back, this time poison tongue ready.
Me: “WHY ARE YOU FLASHING ME???”
Flasher: “WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME?”
Me: (See Me see wahala o!) Are you ok at all? So why did you flash me if you didn’t want me to call you back?? STOP FLASHING ME O!!!”
Flasher: “Gerraway, *some other insulting words*
This time the idiot cut off the phone.
I was still smarting from the insult when my ringtone came on again. I looked at the handset. It was the same number!
God knows, I’ll never call that number again but it’s really irking me.
God…I wish I could lay my hands on that heffer!

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This post reminded me of another annoying Flasher experience I had last year. Then I was still using my old handset that had battery problems. I’d charge it till it showed-Battery Full. However just one call and the phone would go dead.
I was still managing my old phone and praying to buy a new one soon when this crazy Flasher got hold of my number and decided I wasn’t going to rest. This one was also a female (Wat’s with female flashers sef?)and a crazy Jim Iyke fan or so it seemed.
One day, after series of flashing(I think it was after the 30th flash). I was irritated as usual and I called back the number.
Me: “Hello who is this?”
Crazy Flasher: “Hello…I want to speak to Jim Iyke”
Me: “Jim Iyke?? This isn’t Jim Iyke number, This is my number and I don’t

like you flashing me every minute. Pls stop flashing my number”
Crazy Flasher: “Give the phone to Jim Iyke, I want to talk to him”
Me: “You don’t understand English in the afternoon or what?? I said there is no

Jim Iyke here, Stop calling this number!”
I dropped the line.
The crazy flasher continued flashing crazily and my poor phone, it couldn’t withstand the barrage of flashing so it would always go dead.
One night I was waiting for a call. NEPA had struck so there was no way to charge the phone so there I was praying that my battery would last when this crazy flasher started the usual flashing.
Flash 1. I prayed... God let it be just once.
Flash 2. No more, no more.
Flash 3. Now I knew things were serious. I had to call and warn this crazy girl before she kills my battery.
Me: “Hey, stop flashing me, you are running down my battery”
Crazy Flasher: “ I want to speak to Jim Iyke”
Me: “ I have told you this isn’t Jim Iyke’s number, Stop calling this phone!”
Crazy Flasher: “Just give Jim Iyke the phone, I want to talk to him”
Me: Even if this was Jim Iyke’s number. With the way you flash, do you think he’d want to

speak to you?? Just stop killing my battery with ur stupid flashes abeg!.
Crazy Flasher: “Idiot, Stupid, You dey craze!’
Me(stunned): “You must be demented”
Phone cut.
The Kolo case didn’t stop flashing o! It went on and on till she finally grew tired or perhaps realized that Jim Iyke was never calling her back.

I hope this new Flasher stops soon o unless…..SHARIA!!!lol!