Fake fake things everywhere!

This is not about bad publicity for Nigeria on my blog (Omo(detergent)no fit wash the dirty wey don stain that name already).

It’s about something that really really irks me to no end.

I'm talking about the fact that we Nigerians hate ourselves so much that we DELIBERATELY sell poison in the form of fake products, expired food products, adulterated stuff and all what not. All in the bid to make money!

This morning, I heard on the radio that some fake tin tomato brand in the market has caused the death of a number of people.

Some weeks back, it was some expired children teething medicine which claimed the lives of so many innocent children.

I ask why?!!!

Why is it that some people do not have any form of conscience at all? I mean, you know fully well that a product is hazardous to your consumers yet you still put it into the market just because of money.

Do they not understand the preciousness of life?

Do they not know that they are going to be answerable to God almighty for their deeds at the last day?

It’s crazy and sad that we have such devilish people in our midst.

May God continue to save us from them, Amen.

Talking about fake products in Naija…

I remember last Xmas, a supplier working with my company had given me a gift for Xmas- A carton of Eva bottled juice.

Na so I happy carry my Eva bottled juice go house.

I don dey imagine how I go put the drink for fridge…

How I go take enjoy my chilled Eva juice and Xmas cake,lol!

I even used the drink to do longathroat for my brother, :)

Anyway, fast forward to the day I wanted to enjoy my chilled Eva drink.

First thing I noticed was the cork.

It wasn’t the usual wooden cork. This one was rubber.

I shrugged it off thinking maybe the producers had changed the cork.

So I opened the drink. Annn…aaaa…No popping sound? The thing just open like say na bottle of water I open.

I started suspecting the drink...

But still, I was determined that nothing was coming between me and my chilled Eva drink,lol!

Na so I pour the thing inside glass

No bubbly, no nothing…Aannn…annn!!!

Afraid catch me o but I say na lie! Na me and dis drink today!

So I raised the glass to my mouth.

Kai!!! Chai!!! Ptwaaa!!!

I spat it out

Na Zobo this people carry pour inside bottle abi wetin?

The stuff had a horrid taste.

OMG!!! I was disappointed.

I had to open all the other bottles in the carton and pour away the contents while enduring my brother’s annoying laughter.

“He he he, you no drink your Eva juice again? He he he…”

The thing pain me no be small. Na so person for drink poison say im dey drink juice.

A note of warning to all those buying bottled drinks this Xmas especially Eva Juice.

Don’t buy those ones they sell on the road along Apongbon o! Make sure you buy from the importers/distributors or reputable supermarkets.

Bad people plenty!

Okay still on fake products in this our obodo Nigeria.

Wow! Am really in the mood for gist abi? lol!

This one is directed to my peeps in Lasgidi.

Have you noticed those guys selling Harpic toilet cleaner, Morning fresh liquid wash or Car wash in traffic?

You must have sha. Them plenty everywhere.

Those guys are major crooks o!

All those stuff they sell are big time Fake and adulterated products.

Sometimes you buy Harpic or Morning Fresh and you find that it is just Omo or bar soap dissolved in water.

My younger brother bought one of ‘em Liquid car wash they sell in traffic.

The poor boy emptied almost half of the fake car wash inside bucket of water yet the thing no gree foam.

This is a brand of car wash that usually requires you to use only a capful to one bucket of water o!

When I asked him how much he bought it. He replied “N200”

I laughed. “You see yourself? Something wey dem dey sell for N350 na im you buy for N200. You dey find cheap thing…now you do see am!”

Now, that is one way they trap their unsuspecting customers.

Ridiculously cheap prices!

This is where I blame the people who buy those fake things.

You know the market price of something is a lot higher that what you are been offered by those boys in traffic yet you still go ahead and buy thinking you had gotten a great bargain.

Ha ha ha…
Yes you have indeed gotten a great bargain of ‘Gbanjo’ (Fake) product!

Two days ago, I was in the car with my elder brother heading home and as usual we were stuck in traffic.

One Harpic seller passed by the car holding up his fake Harpic

“Madam, buy Harpic…”
I turned to my brother. “Bros, you know say all this Harpic wey them dey sell for Traffic na Fake?”
“How you take know?” he asked.
“For one, the price of the small size Harpic in the supermarket is about N280- N300 but these guys can sell for as low as N100. Which kain Harpic be that one? Even the company price no be N100”
He didn’t quite believe me so I said “Oya just watch and see…Hey!” I beckoned to the Harpic guy.

He quickly ran to the car. I wound down the window.
“How much you dey sell your Harpic?”
“Madam, na N280”
“N280 ke! Some thing wey dem dey sell N120??”
“N120? For where? Madam, you know the price na…Na N280 for everywhere even for market. Oya pay N250”
“Me I no pay any N250 0! Na N120 I get”
I made to wound up the window and he stopped me.
“Oya na how many you want buy?"
“Na one na! Na only one toilet I get”
“Okay bring money”
“Make I pay N120?”
“Yes, bring money”

He shoved the bottle of Harpic at me.
I thought quickly. This had been too easy. I didn’t want to buy and I had to get myself out of the situation fast. I no want make person pour spit for my face.

So I turned to my brother and mumbled some words to him. Then turned back to the guy at the window.
“Eh ya…sorry o…my husband talk say im don buy one yesterday…”
I hadn’t completed the sentence before the guy hissed and walked away.

My brother laughed. “So he agreed to sell for N120?”
“Didnt i tell you? ”

So to end this long post.
Lesson: Please be careful what you buy in this Naija cos plenty plenty fake thing full everywhere. It’s even worse when it’s something you are taking in like food or drugs.
So many have lost their lives this way.
Please be careful.

Happy Weekend everyone!

...and they say Nigerians are dishonest!

I am Nigerian and I am not a dishonest person but ever since I grew to understand the meaning of the word-Honesty, I have been made to understand that Nigerians are very dishonest people at least that is how we are portrayed everywhere especially outside the shores of this country.

I am not going to start making arguments or try to prove that this impression is wrong, however what I do know is that dishonest people abound in all races and colours. Being Nigerian doesn’t make a person dishonest. It’s a choice of character…people can always decide to be honest or not.

That said, of late I have had reasons to begin to believe that Nigerians may really be honest people despite the hard conditions we have to live with. I mean, come on…we all know how challenging it is living in this country. The average common man lives below a dollar a day…how pathetic! There are so many factors that encourage dishonesty and crime in this country. I am not trying to make excuses for the criminal minded; all I am saying is the environment we live in contributes a great deal to our character. A hungry man is more likely to think of stealing food to calm his rumbling belly than a man who’s had enough to eat.

Like I said earlier, some recent incidents have made me arrive at the conclusion that Nigerian may really be honest people after all or perhaps there is some transformation of character going on.

Just last Easter, my parents travelled down to the village as is their usual custom. I didn’t go with them… had too much work to deal with here in Lagos. One night , I was home chilling when I get a call from my cousin who is based in Kaduna. She calls to tell me that a strange person had called her with my mum’s number to say that she picked up my mum’s phone somewhere in my mum’s village. She didn’t know how to get the phone back to its owner and decided to call the first name stored on the phone(which was my cousin’s). My cousin had thought I was in the village with my folks and decided to reach me so I could tell my mum.
I called my mum to let her know and she was very relieved to hear the news. It turned out she had gone to her hometown for a meeting earlier that day and misplaced the phone but didn’t know where.
Long story short, she called the woman, met up with her and retrieved her phone the next day.
What a honest woman! Nothing stopped her from just flinging the Sim card into the nearest bush and pocketing the handset but she chose to go the honest way-returning the phone back to its owner.

Now, two days ago, my brother had come to see me in my office, actually he had come to give me five litres of fuel to help me get my car home. Yea, it’s fuel scarcity time again in Naija, crazy! Living near a huge river yet one still can’t get a cup of water to wash one’s face, that’s the irony in this country. It’s really sad. I am lucky I was able to get a few litres of petrol this morning if not I would have had to take public transport home which I haven’t done for a long time. Pity the BRT (Newly introduced bus transport system in Lagos) buses haven’t started plying my home route yet; it would have been an opportunity to have my first ride in them. I hear they are very comfortable though.
Anyway, I digress.

So my brother had come to give me the fuel. While pouring the fuel into my tank he had kept his phone on top the car and somehow forgot it there. After fueling the car, we drove off and the phone probably fell off as I moved.

It wasn’t until he needed to make a call during our ride home that he realized his phone wasn’t with him. There was nothing we could do, we were almost home and couldn’t turn back to go look for the phone. We didn’t even know where exactly it had fallen so we tried to call his number and kept getting “the number you’ve called is not available at the moment, please try later”. In Naija, if you are looking for your phone and dial it to get that response, it could be interpreted to mean: “bros, just forget this phone o…nothing for you and this phone again, person wey need am don claim am”,lol! As in someone must have picked it and turned it off already or replaced your Sim card with his.

So we thought-no hope! The phone was gone. My brother immediately started making plans on how to arrange for a new phone.

Yesterday morning, when I got to work, I passed by the Mallam(Hausa man) who watches over the compound and it struck me to ask him about the phone. I asked if he had seen any phone around and the man immediately answered in the affirmative. In a few minutes, I was holding my brother’s phone. I was pleasantly surprised and gave him a little something to put in his pocket. Nothing stopped him from saying he hadn’t seen any phone, there was no way I was going to know if he had or not but he chose to be honest and returned the phone to me. Now, this is a night watch man who may not even have a phone much less one like my brother’s, still he didn’t hold on to what wasn’t his, he gave it back.
Honest mallam!

Later on in the day(same yesterday), I had to attend a meeting with my boss at a client’s office and since there was no fuel in any of the cars cos of the fuel scarcity, we had to take a cab.
Naturally, we also had to take a cab back to the office after our meeting.

I didn’t realize my phone was missing until after a few hours after I had gotten back to the office. I wanted to make a call and couldn’t find my phone. I turned my bag inside out and scattered my desk until it occurred to me that I must have dropped the phone in that taxi cab we took back to the office. I remembered I had the phone in my hand when I was in the cab.

So I quickly dialed the number and got: “Ol’ gal, just forget this phone o…nothing for you and this phone again, person wey need am don claim am”, lol! Okay I kid. I got the usual number is not available story. I was so sad. My contacts, My pictures, My music, My videos even my text messages(lol, yes I save the very nice ones…am mushy like dat!) were all gone…just like that! I didn’t want to believe it.

At that same time, I was chatting with a friend and blogger-Obi so I told him what had happened. He tried to call my phone and told me it was ringing. A man picked the phone and told him he was at a hospital somewhere in Lagos. He gave him the directions on how to get there to pick the phone. I was relieved, overjoyed and skeptical at the same time. How were we to know it wasn’t a trap or something? Obi reassured me that there was no reason for the man to want to trap him and that he would go himself to the place and get my phone back for me. What a sweetheart! Obi am sure you are reading this. I want to say a very BIG thank you once again. You are incredible dude!

So I got my phone back this morning in one piece. As I type this post, my phone is right here on my desk smiling at me and I am smiling back,lol!
According to the man who gave the phone to Obi, a patient of his had picked up the phone from a cab on his way to the hospital and gave it to him to try and get it back to the owner. The patient and the doctor had the choice to be dishonest but they weren’t. They were both honest Nigerians!

So you see, we are a good people after all!

Patriotic Princesa,lol.

Me I like my country
I like the lots of people
Everything e dey for Nigeria
Make we join hands to make Nigeria Better

I like am…
I like am…
Oh yes!
Wetin other people dey find, we get am!

Is anyone Nostalgic?
Do you remember that song??
It was kinda popular in the late eighties (lol, am sounding old now, am I?). It was an image building television commercial for Nigeria then. I especially remember it because it was usually run during the famous Television programme-'New Masquerade'(Zebrudaya and Co.) and how i loved that programme then! I remember I used to feel very frustrated anytime they went on commercial breaks, just didn’t understand why they had to disrupt the programme to show those annoying T.V ads and the only one I had patience for then was the song: "I like am, I like am" above. I don’t think it was the message I was interested in then, rather it was the melody that piqued my interest.

Now, I don’t know why but I have had this song on my lips for some days now. I guess its some patriotic consciousness, lol. Whenever I decide to sing on, I cant stop pondering on the following:

Line 1 & 2- Me I like my country
I like the lots of people
1. How many Nigerians really like Nigeria?(Not sure say them plenty o! My palm fit contain them sef.)
2. If we like this country so much, then why the crazy desperation to take off the shores any opportunity we get??(That one na question??? The answer is all around you, just look!)
3. Do we really like ourselves in this country? ( I doubt it. What do u expect anyway? Lots of peeps are frustrated big time!).

Line 4- Everything e dey for Nigeria
Lol! lol! lol!!!
Abeg make una no mind me jare! This one is cracking me up seriously!!
Ok well, maybe then in the eighties it may have been true but now unless 'Everything ' means: Unemployment, Poverty, Lack of infrastructure, Poor Electricity supply, Inflation, Terrible living conditions and so on, they must be joking!

Line 8- Wetin other people dey find, we get am!
This is another funny one!
Please if anyone knows this thing wey other people dey find wey we get for Naija, abeg tell me o!
Maybe them dey find 'Sufferhead', that one abound well well for here.
We are so used to 'Suffering & Smiling' in Naija. I guess that's why we are rated amongst the happiest people in the world.

Line 4- Make we join hands to make Nigeria Better
Oh well, this one is true. No one can make our country better for us. We alone can! Let's stop talking and start doing. Only then can things change for the better.


Another song. I forgot who sang this one.

Nigeria go survive
Africa go survive
Nigeria go survive o!
Africa go survive.

I once read somewhere that there is a difference between 'Surviving' and 'Living'.
To survive is to be able to barely raise one's head above the water. Now I wonder, what happens when that really big wave comes crashing down?

Living on the other hand is getting the best there is out of life. Being able to let your hair down in the wind striding down the beach with a wide smile on your face.

Abeg, we are tired of surviving o! We want to really LIVE!


BIRTHDAY ALERT
Hurray! Its my birthday week finally!!
My birthday is Friday, August 31st and am going to be one year older.
I already started getting gifts. Got a lovely bag from my Mum some weeks back and today I received a lovely gift bag (A towel set, Two DVDs, and some nice cards that I read over and over again).
Am expecting my pressies from all of you o! :)