Tuesday, October 2, 2007

When LOVE takes a hike.

“How do you know love is gone? If you said that you would be there at seven and you get there by nine and he or she has not called the police yet-its gone”
-Marlene Dietrich(1962)

It starts with one meeting, one look between guy and babe. The sparks fly, chemistry strong, a relationship is started. Initially it’s beautiful and wonderful, you live for the moments when you are together, you wonder how you lived before meeting this person and your life looks so bleak when you imagine it without him/her- you don’t even want to think of it!

The days are cheery, the spring is in your steps, the smiles on your face, and you couldn’t be merrier. The hours spent on the phone and the computer seems like minutes.

You pray that this feeling of bliss will never end but alas, this is the real world where (sometimes) good things don’t last and soon you start to notice the changes-small subtle changes at first that you don’t want to accept.
The calls stop coming as frequently as they used too, then it’s a WHOLE day that passes and no call, two days still yet no call. When you call, the phone is not answered, your call is not returned. Reality dawns gradually…something is definitely wrong. Time spent together is now as rare as a white-haired baby, it’s always: “Am busy, busy, busy!” Things have changed and you don’t need a soothsayer to tell you that LOVE IS GONE!

The above scenario painted is very familiar to some of us. Some of us have passed through this road at one point or the other in our life. It’s painful when you suddenly realise that someone you love and who used to love you (Did he/she really?) doesn’t feel the same way about you anymore. You wonder: Was it something you did or didn’t do? Was it simply infatuation which has faded for the other party?? Questions that you may never find answers to. The only thing left to do is to let go and walk hoping to find someone to give you the love you deserve along the way.

Have you loved and lost? How did you know that love was gone?? If you can share, I’d like to know.



Queen of My Castle said...

I know this sounds weird, but I knew the love was slowly seeping away on my end when I stopped b*tching and complaining. I can't say that I ever stopped loving him, I did however, choose to move on. When a woman grows silent, stops fussing, and gets the I-don't-care attitude, you should get worried because she's making plans to be without you, but this is just my opinion.

Good post babe.

femme said...

YAY!!! i'm doing a dance becos im almost first.
one day...

meanwhile, maxwell set the perfect mood for this post.
i dont know anytin about losing love, but if it happens....
make i no make mouth, i'd probabaly do wat all other females all over the world have been doing for years.

ever hear about the asian chick that cut of her husbands *kini when he cheated? they actually got bak today. im sure he wont try that shit any time soon.

Mommy said...

Sweetheart, I know one thing for sure. When you've love and lost, babe, that guy/gurl is not yours. Its hard to move on; but when you do, you'll be surprised to find out that there is still that one person created for you out there that'll love you and call you and do everything in the whole world for you just so that you are happy.
How you doing and how was your break? TBabe is fine. Thank you.

Mommy said...

Halleluyah!!! I am among the first five. Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

s.chic said...

To be honest, the withdrawal/ letting go process is harder than we think expecially if the love dies down on the guy's part and the girl is still loving up. We females tend to love with everything inside of us, but never theless, we have to let go because settling for anything less is not worth it especially if you intend on spending the rest of your life with someone...

Obi said...

I'm laughing my friggin' head off here..!!

Ejura said...

For me his calls stopped coming as they used to; soon I stopped feeling as I used to; then his calls suddenly started coming; but my heart wasn't responding no more. I had to let him go. It was painful-still is. He was hurt real bad but I had to. I was no longer going to pretend...

Ejura said...

princesa you really do know how to let out oh! Now this is going to make me think a little this night.

princesa said...

@castle queen, yea you are right babes. When a woman becomes indiferent then the love ia definitelydisappering. I agree.

@femme, lol@almost first!
You never lost a love? Lucky you dear!

Sparkle said...

It's like sand held in your hand,held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost...but I always want to think about what Helen Cixous said
"Only when you are lost can love find itself in you without losing its way.”...nice post Princess...it's been a minute...how u dey?
I love that song Womans Work

princesa said...

@mommy, quite true. If you move on there is definitely someone down the road who will heal the hurt but then the moving on...that hurts!
Am ok love. Kisses to Tbaby.

@s.chic, i couldn't agree more.

@obi, (princesa looking bewildered) Whats funny here???

@ejura, did i strike a nerve there hon? No think too much sha...we dont want you losing ur beauty sleep ok!

princesa said...

@sparkle sweetie, i dey kampe o!You reminded me of the saying:"If you love someone set them free".
Maybe, but sometimes you love so much its hard to hold loosely, dont u think?

Afrobabe said...

I know its ended when my phone rings, I look at the name and ignore the call...so its easy to know when the same thing happens to you....

When he holds you and you cant respond.

When you dread his touch.

When you suddenly seem to fussy to him.

When he tells you stuff like he needs space.

but most of all


That should get it into any skull that its over...

Aijay said...

Babes, I foresee you becoming a love doctor. Lol.
Lost a Love? Nah.
When a relationship doesn't work like the one in that scenario, I don't consider it to be love 'lost', I see it as love 'saved' for the right person.

Orientatednaijababe said...

I totally agree with Aunty Aijay..great post

pamelastitch said...

It was a 2am phone call from his new girlfriend......

that said.....

Yeah to princess...

Now about chidi - i love his style and my plan is to find a way to meet him when i come to naija..so you guyz with connection get it to happen. Make it my christmas gift abegi!!


...toyintomato said...

hmnnn, you dis girl , you sha want me to think.
..as a firm believer in never giving up hope.
i refused to believe "love" had gone,
u people trust me, i did everything womanly possible..
cooked, diet/lost weight, dressed sexy,called 5 million times a day, spend my hard earned money on him.

and finally i met love and lovina.

so love never left, i walked out on the shit i called love.

and thats how the, shit i thot was love was an became an integral part of my life experiences..hahah

diary of a G said...

sometimes P, its just like that.
You know they say the Initial
stages of a relationship is like the honey moon phase, then the real thing begins.
The hardest part (maintaining it)

as a dude I admit to folding under pressure at times n hurting the ones I cared for but deep down I also hurted myself
whoa *just had a moment*

Am sure he feels the same
sometimes we lose love over ur prides

hope u iight

princesa said...

@afrobabe, lol @ "WHEN HIS ^%%£*& DOESN'T RISE FOR YOU ANYMORE!" That should tell anyone, abi!

@aijay, love doctor,hmmm...might just consider it o!
I like ur angle to it-Love saved!

@orientednaijababe, thanks.

@pammy, what?!?! His new babe called you??? The Cheek!
And about Chidi,would have helped ur cause if i could, you really seem besotted dear,lol!

princesa said...

@TT, babes you REALLY did every thing womanly possible,lol!
You even spent ur 'hardearned' money...eh ya pele!(LMAO)
Did you need to meet lovina before walking??? I guess we just want to cling on despite the glaring truth.

@DOG, i feel you on maintaining it being the hardest part dude! Now tell me the truth you this guy, how many hearts you don break??(i ope u understand pidgin english)

Orientatednaijababe said...

thanks for visiting my blog.....no mind Aijay oh...d babe just likes to bully moi.

Olamild said...

Lovely song
why u con tiff the song 4rm me?

Oh well
You'll know the love is gone
when u r waiting patiently at ur usual spot and he's not sitting on the tree whistling..... sykeee

If I answer the question, everybody go cry o.
It brings back too much memories 4 me

Sparkle said...

I don finally update o

Omosewa said...

Awwwwww *hug*

I cant relate, my boo is imaginary and he does and says all the right things, lol

But i agree with you,and i say hmm its okay, let go, cos i believe firmly that when its right, it'll be really right...i believe this.

I love maxwell...

As per the surprise, i'm serious, i need your email addy or something...hehehe

Omosewa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
pamelastitch said...

Can you imagine? Anyways, i left that there and happily moved on with my life....

Because, "if you don't respect yourself, how do you expect other people to respect you"



bighead said...

One of my big crush's favourite quotes (according to facebook) is "It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all". Peeps gat to pick up and move on.

On the other hand, if your initial description is anything to go by, then I've never been in love... and can't wait to be

princesa said...

@orientednaijababe, you are welcome dear. Nice blog you got!

@olamild, eh ya!Sad memories you say?? Thank God you moved on girl!

@Sparks, am coming over sooonnnn!

@omosewa, lol@ imaginary boo!That olowo of your ori must come soon o babes!
I sent you an email.You no see am?

@pammy, lol! babes you crazy!

@bighead, yea i know that quote. So u are not in love with Big crush then?

Arewa said...

oh girl.. i have been there done that and bought the T -Shirt...lol
I stayed in my previous for realtionship for over 2 and it took a really terrible incedent for me to realise that there was no love in the realtionship and that i seemed to be the only hopeful person in our relationship. Comming to think of it .. i dont think there was ever really any love from my ex from the word go. I think it was only a sex thing at the time.
What amazes me is that he only wanted to get serious after i broke things off with him.
Trust me my friends evn advised me in the begining satges to let go and move on but i just couldnt do it i was soo hopeful that he would see sense and love me for trying to help him sort out his life, which was a wreck as all he did was a whole load of 419 galivantinng with his boys. But trust me i adviced myself when i realised that he just wasnt going to cahge and guess what 6 yrs on the silly dude wants me back by force...aint life /love just a bitch.
Trust me its not easy...

cally-waffybabe said...

I feel queen of my castle big time on this one.

princesa said...

@arewa,lol! now he's realise what he lost abi?
Abeg dont even consider him o!
Good riddance to bad rubbish, Shio!

@CWG, yes o!

bighead said...

Regardless of how excited I may sound, I'm very cool-headed and analytic too; I know I'm not in "love" with her. That may happen with time but for now, I'm just... attracted.

Ebonne said...

the love is gone when it hurts to love. you know you have feeling sfor that person but its painful to love them. Thats not what real love feels like. When you have to questino whether or not the love is gone... then it definitely is... and you now have to get over the comfort of infatuation and history because both can keep you in a bubble that you think is love.

cinnamonqueen said...

Love is gone when you don't care anymore or he doesn't care anymore. Love is gone when you forget to kiss and make up after a fight. Love is gone when you can't be bothered to have a fight. Love is gone when your heart's packed up, ready to leave, yet you're still holding on for some glimmer of hope.