Thursday, October 25, 2007


Are you that person that’s always stalking your partner, who wants to know where they are or what they are doing each minute and go through their phone contacts and messages every opportunity you get. If you are a babe, you sniff his shirt for the scent of female perfume like one expert Bingo,lol! And for the guys, you sieve through the contents of her bag looking to find God knows what, maybe a complimentary card or a phone number scribbled on a piece of paper. Well just incase you didn’t know, am telling you now: “Girl/Dude you are insecure!!!!”

Emotional insecurity is almost always a function of low self esteem. When you don’t think yourself worthy of your partner’s affection, you begin to doubt their feelings for you and you find yourself always looking over your shoulder for some imaginary (most times) thief trying to steal your man/woman.

Soon you begin to suspect every move your partner makes. When he says he is hanging with the boys, you are already picturing him in Monica’s bed. She says she has to go see her mum and you say Mum ko, Uncle ni!

You start competing with everybody for your partner’s affection and become too possessive. If a babe as much as even smiles at your man, you want to murder her or if a guy says a harmless hello to your babe, you start a fight. That’s the height of insecurity, please get a grip!!!

In most cases you end up losing him/her cos I tell you, its really difficult dealing with a partner with insecurity issues.

All this talk about insecurity reminds me of an incident that happened while I was in the university. I was living off campus in an all girls’ residence and you know how it is when babes live together, there is always jealousy, bickering and chicken fights, lol!

As a fine babe now (at the risk of sounding immodest) I had my fair share of toasters…guys who always came around to visit. Even when you refuse to disclose your address, them go trace you go your house!

Anyway as a result of my numerous toasters, some babes come dey get bad belle for moi. They’d be like: “Na only Princesa de this compound sef wey all the bobos just dey find am come, abi we no be person??” Lol! They never said this to my face though.

One day, I was in my room chilling with some of my friends when I heard a knock. On getting to the door, I discovered it was one of the girls that lived in my compound. I’ll call her ‘Desperate E’.

Desperate E had recently caught this BIG fish, a guy that lived in Lagos! (You see, though I lived all my life in Lagos, I went to Uni in Eastern Nigeria and for some of these babes wey never cross River Niger, it was a big deal if the guy lived in Lagos or Abuja, lol! If the guy live for London or America nko? That one mean say them go go do thanksgiving o!)

So back to Desperate E and her Big fish. The guy was quite loaded, he always came to visit in a black SUV and appearance wise, he didn’t look bad at all. I no blame Desperate E for wanting to protect her ‘property’ but her actions really surprised me. That day, her bobo came visiting and she had come to my room. The following exchange transpired:

Desperate E: Princesa, I have something to say to you.

Yes, what is it?

Desperate E: My boyfriend is around and as long as he I here, I don’t want you o come out of your room. Just stay inside till he is gone.

Me: For what now? Why won’t I come out of my room?? What is my own with your boyfriend???

Desperate E: I don’t want you to come out and be showing that your face as if you are the only fine girl in this world. Just respect yourself and remain in your room

Me: Chei! I don suffer!! Na me do myself to fine? Abeg this is too funny o! See me see wahala. Please just go to your room and stop making me laugh. I will come out of my room if It pleases me; I can’t lock myself up just cos your bobo came visiting.

Desperate E: I have told you my own o! If you don’t want my trouble, just remain in your room.

(The babe was dead serious o!) She left for her room ,I went back into mine and told my friends what just happened. They were indignant! “Who does she think she is?”, “What rubbish??”, “See Craze o!” “Princesa you can’t take this at all!” Everybody had something to say. Me, I just sat down and thought about it…suddenly I knew what I was going to do. I shared my plan with my friends and they all agreed that it would serve her right. Now all I had to do was to wait until Desperate E’s boyfriend was ready to leave.

I didn’t wait too long. One of my friends who was on the lookout came to tell me that Desperate E and her guy were coming out of her room. I quickly went and stood by the main gate leading into the compound and waited for them. As they approached the gate, I noticed Desperate E giving me the ‘evil eye’ but I no kuku look her face. I just turned to her guy and said hello. The guy smiled and said hello to me too. I could see Desperate E was getting uneasy as she didn’t know what I was up to. I went on:

Me: My name is Princesa, I live in this compound. I’ll like you to know that your girlfriend doesn’t trust you one bit.

Guy: (Surprised, looks at his babe and turns to me) Why do you say that??

Now, Desperate E was now REALLY desperate and she cut in:

Desperate E: (tugging at her man) Darling please don’t mind her, let’s go.

Guy: No, I’ll like to hear what she has to say.

Me: (Smiling Victoriously) Your girlfriend here, came to my room earlier to warn me not to step out of my room till you are gone. She seemed scared that you would leave her for me once you set eyes on me.

From the look on her face, Desperate E was almost pissing in her pants now, her boyfriend was shocked and I was having fun (Evil princesa abi?, lol!). My friends had gathered too and were enjoying the drama.

Guy: Am really sorry about this. Please I apologize on her behalf.

Desperate E: Darling it’s a lie……

Her boyfriend turns to her and gives her a look that shuts her up.

Me: (To the guy), its okay, I just thought I should let you know what your girlfriend thinks about you.

I left them and went back to my room with my friends, satisfied that I had accomplished my mission. Desperate E came back later and it was war that day!!! Thank God I had my friends with me and they gave as good as they got.

Not long after that incident, I heard the guy left her. I don’t know if that incident contributed to their break up, all I know is that Desperate E was insecure and no one wants that in a relationship, it so damn unsexy!


onydchic said...

Oh, wow, that was Evil, lol! But yeah, i feel you though. I cant deal with that kind of paranoia. It's never worth it.

princesa said...

@onydchic, evil...yea maybe! Now when i think back to that incident, i actually feel pity for her.

30+ said...

BABE that was mean mehn even you sef get liver, you no even fear for Acid. Some of this babes are baba desperado.

Don't think it was your incident that contributed, that relationship was doomed. I mean for her to come and tell you that.

If not foolishness or lack of concobility on her part did she stop to think that there are plenti fine girls in lagos where the BIG FISH lives.

Naapali said...

ole girl u hard o!

Kpakpando said...

Mehn u're lucky the girl no dey crase sha, she for finish you, but thank God you had her medicine.

As far as insecurity, I agree with most points but I should add that there's a difference between insecurity and instinct. Don't be doing i'm secure so i'll ignore this nagging feeling and get the surprise of your life later on.

Rinsola said...

miss lady, you go look for the trouble wey she say make u no look for. I don't really think what she did was wrong, your own head come dey swell when she concur say you be fine girl, abi? Yeah she was insecure, maybe 'cos she hasn't/doesn't know her man well enuff (Can you really know these men well enuff?). But lets get serious, we all have one insecurity or the other, or rather we've all felt insecured once in our lives, abi? Howz ur week coming?

princesa said...

@30+,Am not a mean person but that babe just drove me to the edge.
If the man want cheat on am, he can do that very easily in Lagos abi? She no think far!

@napaali, yes o! Evryone seems to think am a softie. Now am sure you'll change ur minds,lol!

@Kpakpa, am not talking about instincts here girl! If there is a reason to suspect ur partner, thats different but not looking for something where it doesnt exist. Insecurity makes you do that.

princesa said...

@rinsola, babe you dont think what she did was wrong eh?? Now that's interesting.
Sometimes we feel insecure for whatever reasons but the thing is not to be a victim of our insecurities. We shouldn't let them take control our actions.

Orientatednaijababe said...

Girl, u get strength oh..i dont think i wud have been able to dat to her...i am soft i guess. I do wish i went to uni in Nigeria cos of dramas like this.

I sometimes feel insecure about my relationship, i always just tell my Mr. and he does a good job re-assuring me....i know i will neva be as bad as Desperate E....she acted desperate and got the results

confused child said...

ROFLMFAO! DAMN! This is just 2 funny 4 me mehn, serves desperate E right, girl i would have done exactly wut u did if not worse sef, that girl must have guts!Can u imagine?
And speaking of checking ur guy or girl's phone n all that, what if he or she has done something for you to mistrust them?

Afrobabe said...

lolololol...such fun...I said it and brains....

But my own problem is text messages..can't stop reading them...not the ones in the inbox but the ones in the sent items...I dont care how much love the girls declare but how much he declares...

unshined congo said...

lol.. this same thing happened to me this year. my friend was holding her 21st birthday party and she told all her friends to wear a white shirt and hot pants.. when i arrived with the others at the party, we then sat and were chilling. all of a sudden she walked up to me and whispered in my ear "pls don't walk around my boyfriend just came and he has a thing for light skinned girls".. hmm i sat down and wondered.. she is light skinned and pretty also so y is she insecure?? dunno wat her problem was sha but they r not together anymore..

lol @ u telling desperate E's bf.. hmm princesa nor let the girl pour acid for ur face

Sparkle said...

LMAO...evil? I tell u, I would've done d same thing or even worst!!!! which kain thign be she sef know say she no stand a chance..cos u better pass am...hahaha na wa o

A Kel called Wonder ...... said...

Lol thats funny Princess you dd that??

But the first part of your post is WELL SAID

princesa said...

@ONB,Uni life is Naija is REALLY full of drama!lol!!

Why do you feel insecure un your relationship? Does ur man give you reason to?? Thank God he does the reassuring thing. Some guys cant stand it sha.
Am also a soft O but i no dey stand rubbish!

@Confused child, lol babe! Finally someone thinks i did the right thing!

As for checking ur partner's phone when there is distrust...just be ready to take whatever you see.
A relationship where there is no trust is doomed anyway.

LittleGirlLost said...

Risky strategy but you really got her, silly woman. How dare she try and bully you into staying in your room!

princesa said...

@afrobabe,thanks sweetie!
lol@ ur confession babe. So ur second name na Snoop dog?!?!
I hope you can stand it sha when you find something in that sent msgs folder:)

However its always good to know the true situation.

@Unshined, you dont mean that!!!
Am sorry but that babe is not ur friend. Even if she doesnt trust her man, she should trust you not to gree for the guy even if he chases you.
She lucky say no be me o! Na then i for stand up well well waka for he bobo front 200 times, even invite the guy to dance,LOL!!!
She go chase me comot for her party but i no send.

Acid,Me??? God forbid!

@Sparkle, lol babes, You too!!
Na complex dey worry the babe joo!

@a kel, i did my sister. You just dey enjoy for Colorado abi?? If you come back without anything for moi eh...i no talk o!

Nyemoni said...

LOL........I'm ROTFLMHO!! hahahahahaha! What a nice, I wouldn't have ever thought of that myself but Y go so far as to tell you to stay in your room till he left the building? She was kolomental for sure...but thank Heavens she wasn't that extreme, some can go as far as pouring acid o!

Aijay said...

LOL!!! Real Drama! Babe u r mad! Lol. OMG, this is so funny.
Insecurity dey everywhere o... Its amazing. My friend who's doing her trad in Dec 'warned' me not to make my outfit (aso-ebi) better than hers. I think say na joke but the babe is serious. Her words "I don't want you to 'outshine' me on my wedding day." Lol.
P, what does outshine mean abeg?? Lol.
I been wan make normal outfit but cos of her statement I'm gonna rock a HAWT trad outfit. Lets see if she'll bounce me from her wedding. Lol.

Have a fab weekend babes!

princesa said...

@littlegirllost,Risky abi? I got away with it sha. Am not sure she'ld try that with anyone again anyway.

princesa said...

@nyemoni, lol! Thank God she wasnt the acid pouring type o!

@aijay, that babe is insecure if she actually meant that. She should just print on the Invitation card:"Dont dress to outhine the bride,lol!
Abeg my dear, u have tp look realy hAWT o! E be like say i go gatecrash that wedding in my own HAWT attire so she can chase us both,lol!

fantasy queen said...

lol'...that was deliciously mad crazy what u did to the chic. my first and only serious relationship didnt work out cos the dude wes so insecure, i mean i liked him thats why i dated him, but the stalking and blind accusations killed my soul i had to get out fast...
i've had supposed friends dissing me to their boyfriends behind my back cos they somehow sense that the dudes like me which sometimes is an innocent liking so they feel discrediting me would push any naughty thots away...yikes, crazy world we're in yeah? insecurity...
thanks for stopping by. c ya

Jaybabe said...

Stay inside your room? for where? Nonsense! Even everybody in Blogville knows you are so beautiful. But here as mature and close sisters we can't fight for bobos can we? Desperate E is very desperate. Whats she rushing for? Mxem! You shud've slapped her when you left her with the b.f Useless girl! She just spoilt my day for me...

Buy the way, i used to and still am that kinda insecure girl. I think thats why P.S decided we put the affair on hold for a while.(he's Scotish, and i'm Botswanaian). Matters made worse by the distance. I can't help it Princesa, i can't. I've tried. But still can't. I'm sorry but thats the kinda person i am. P.S said with that kinda attitude i won't be able to keep relationships.

Jaybabe said...

Stay inside your room? for where? Nonsense! Even everybody in Blogville knows you are so beautiful. But here as mature and close sisters we can't fight for bobos can we? Desperate E is very desperate. Whats she rushing for? Mxem! You shud've slapped her when you left her with the b.f Useless girl! She just spoilt my day for me...

Buy the way, i used to and still am that kinda insecure girl. I think thats why P.S decided we put the affair on hold for a while.(he's Scotish, and i'm Botswanaian). Matters made worse by the distance. I can't help it Princesa, i can't. I've tried. But still can't. I'm sorry but thats the kinda person i am. P.S said with that kinda attitude i won't be able to keep relationships.

Andy said...

Chei Princesa, na waah for you oooh! You should have just let sleeping dogs lie. But we sure do some things when we are vexed!

Arewa said...

Damn..why am i alway so late : (
I confess.....I use to do that but that was yrs ago but i only acted that way because of my terrible experience with my ex.Its not easy but u eventually learn to control urself.
U this girl i see u dont take crap but did u really have to do that to the poor girl. U should feel sorry for the poor least she admitted indirectly that she felt intimidated by u.. but she deserved it sha..her omming to ur room to warn u was just out of order....way to go

NikkiSab said...

So wetin u go do insecure n possesive boyfriends? Well insecurity de plenty for dis life o but one must learn to be tactful.

princesa said...

@fantasyqueen,, sorry about your relationship. I cant stand insecurity/possessiveness too.
Friends that do that are not friends.

@jaybebe, lol@ fighting for bobos in blgoville! There are more than enough guys to go round now.
Girl, you hard pass me o! So i for dash am slap to join the embarassment,lol! Na then she for pour me acid o!
Dearie my candid advice is this: You got to deal with your insecurities otherwise like P.S said it will always come in between you and ur partner.

@andy,yea i was vexxed but she woke up the sleeping dog(Me)!

princesa said...

@fantasyqueen,, sorry about your relationship. I cant stand insecurity/possessiveness too.
Friends that do that are not friends.

@jaybebe, lol@ fighting for bobos in blgoville! There are more than enough guys to go round now.
Girl, you hard pass me o! So i for dash am slap to join the embarassment,lol! Na then she for pour me acid o!
Dearie my candid advice is this: You got to deal with your insecurities otherwise like P.S said it will always come in between you and ur partner.

@andy,yea i was vexxed but she woke up the sleeping dog(Me)!

Busola AK said...

yeah definitley evil. but she deserved it. What nerve! Serious insecurities. she need dt 2 shake her up a little maybe next time she'll get it right.(i doubt it tho. lol)

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

Oh girl, and I think say I bin get were when I wan fight man one time (long time ago..another story)
Poor Desperate E. Maybe that was the one guy anywhere near her heart's desires....
O ma se o

Zephi said...

OMG..remind me not to mess with princesa...she gangsta..I think a LIL BIT of suspision/jealosy is healthy..that shows you know you have something good and others my want it...I repeat a liittle bit..

girls can be so jelos sha


Omo babe, u chop winch...abi u don go kolomental? u get liver o...which one u just go yawa d babe like dat sef, ehn? u 4 let am enjoy her moment wit her man and then lata yarn 'bout how u feel & gist am bout self confidence and relationships. e be like say u like trouble sha!
Anywayz, I agree wit u. sometimes it's not all 'bout da pretty face, but 'bout attitude, swagger, self confidence and self worth...more 'bout what u got inside than on d outside.

azuka said...

You this girl -- you're wicked oh! :-D

Honestly, the moment I find my partner checking up suspiciously on me, I might turn lukewarm towards the entire relationship. I just hate people questioning my whereabouts and if the person supposed to trust me the most doesn't, then who will?

Tayo said...

First time here ... and I'm almost concluding you're evil and wicked! Anyway, I'll give you a second chance to redeem yourself...
But seriously, you did that?
I agree with you though .. insecurity is so not attractive. My take is "If we have any reason not to trust each other, then we certainly don't have much reason to be together"

Afrobabe said...

yes oh...kpakpando said it well...stay there saying am secure and not follow up on dodgy conversations in low tones...

Obi said...

Waaay too much drama happening at female hostels...
Personally, I think you went looking for that one...
Best ignore that kinda rubbish..!!

diary of a G said...

I hear you P! BUT its a thin line between insecurity n being too naive

pamelastitch said...

In as much as I want to completely agree with you but I feel that often times, people that you are in a relationship with give you a reason to be insecure.

I have been in a relationship in which I did not sit down wondering what was going on..we respected each other and each others space and we understood that certain things were a definite no no no...and then I have gone out with people who just give you something to talk about and watch out for....for people like that I say you better keep your eyes open..because there is generally something up.....


so princess, in this post, can't completely agree with you....

how body dey...

pamelastitch said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Calabar Gal said...

Chineke! Princessa! U mean u actually did that? Thats enough to break up any relationship especially one that isnt very strong. U bold oh!! That was wicked!! That girl would have been pissing in her pants but then...... Oh I dont know. Relationships are delicate tings.

T said...

Girl, u bold oh! I guess the first mistake the other girl made was allowing herself to be intimidated. Beauty, as many have found out, is no guarantee of so many things, so pls baby girl do not let it get into ur head. It comes and goes o.

Sisbee said...

Indeed that babe was not entirely normal, she was menting small,....but you dealt with her bad ooh! Besides who knows what she had faced in the past.
One thing I know though, Princesa, if a woman thinks something is amiss in her relationship, 99% of the time sha is right, that is not insecurity, that is female instinct.

Obinwanne said...

did you actually say those things to the guy?...u get liver sha...and liver no cut you...hmmm nawa for youoooohh

cally-waffybabe said...

Good on you girl. You been pity am small sef. If to say na me, i for comot with bikini parade for her bobo front make she go bang her head for wall. Nonsense and ekpangnkukwo! *hissezzz*
I can't stand insecurity, even amongst partners. Don't check my phones and i won't check yours. Stuff like that- nah mean?

Jaybabe said...

Just passed by to check on an update...hope you good?

princesa said...

@arewa, glad to know you overcame ur insecurity. I agree it was quite mean of me but am sure she wont try that stunt with another person again.

@nikkisab, insecure boyfriends??? That na to leave the bobo na. I no fit cope o! Tactful is the word.

@busola ak, I hope she got it right the next time. I just hope.

@catwalq, You fought with a man?!?! Girl, your were pass my own o! I hand the crown over to you abeg!

@zephi, me gangsta, eh???
Okay o! Me and my gang are out for you,lol!
A little jealousy is natural especially if one is in love but suspicion... Na Na Na!!!

princesa said...

@Nigeria politricks, Haba! All that one for only me??? I no chop winch and i neva kolo o! I just acted on a a whim then.
It wasnt as if i and the babe were on chummy terms anyway. There was some 'beef' going on then so i guess i just wanted to hurt her,BAD PRINCESA needs some flogging,lol!

@azuka & tayo, No am not wicked. Am the sweetest person you know!
Am glad you agree that trust is fundamental to any relationship.

@afrobabe,If your partner gives you reason to be insecure that's a different kettle of fish dear.

@obi, drama no dey happen for male hostels???
I could have ignored her but i chose not to. I was just fed up of their bad bellerisms.

@DOG, I hear you too G. DOnt forget there's also a thing line between love and hate.

princesa said...

@pammy, why did yo delete the second message girl??? It was enlightening na!
Anyway,i have said this but i will say it again. If your partner gives you cause to sleep with one eye open,its not worth it!

Its allowed to have dissenting opinions anyway.
Am good, you??

@calabar girl, A relationship that s not founded on trust is really delicate. Something will definitely break it so even if it wasnt our little episode, if she kept up that way, it was likely doomed.

@t, thanks for the advice dearie. I am one person whose beauty never even pass her leg talk less of reaching my head.

@sisbee, i agree with the female instinct part and i also believe that one should not ignore their instints.

@obinwanne, na wa for me abi? No wahala.

@cally, my babe! I feel you o jare! Peeps shouldn't poke unnecessarily abeg.
lol@ parading in your bikini in front of her bobo! Her bobo no even deserve to see ur booty dear.

@jaybabe, am good, thanks.


Hopeful B! said...

Hmm, had a friend that searched her guy's house for stray When she told me how she used that against him all i could do was laugh...............

Obi said...

Am I the ONLY one here that thinks you did something TOTALLY stupid there..???
Being an ex-student..and ex-visiting "aristo" myself..I know first hand the kinda bullshit drama that goes on in female hostels. Granted you were "young n foolish" then, so your behaviour could be excusable...but now that you're supposedly "older n wiser" would think you'd acknowledge the senselessness of your act..
Abeg, my sista, enough drama happens in one's life without necessary goin out to look for it...

princesa said...

@hopeful b!, lol@your friend!
It'ld be interesting to know how she used that against her boyfriend.

@obi,okay so as an ex-aristo, you know all that go on in female hostels. Good for you bro and just incase you didnt notice, most peeps here have been chiding me for acting the way i did.
I do not think my action was 'stupid' or 'senseless'. Evil and cruel...maybe. You are entitled to your opinion anyway.

Mommy said...

Hmmmm Princesa!! P-r-i-c-e-s-a!! 52 comments and still counting. Thank God Desperate E did not have any razor blade with her that day. She for come slice this your pretty face (lol). On a serious play that kind play ever again. Girls can be very wicked you know. I used to have a friend when I was much younger. SHe gained admission into higher institution earlier than I did so I did not hear much from her or about her. Then one faithful day I learnt fine girl met trouble but this time, there was no confrontation. The Wicked 'Desperate E' in her on case (lol) positioned one razor blade strategically where fine girl was going to sit. Let me leave the remaining tory for your imagination. Abeg Oh!!! Take care ok!

princesa said...

That was a dreadful tale really!
Thanks for the advice.

Allied said...

Ahh... you get liver. But how desperate/ insecured can she be?

Olamild said...

**spanks princesa**
Bad gurl bad gurl bad girlll

Lol though
I can't believe u actually did that. I don't think i could. This just reminds me of my ex. He is so insecure. He wanted to beat up his friend just because i danced with the guy..

Isn't that crazy?

PS: I know u stopped by my other blog. I smelt your perfume **sniff sniff** am I insecure?



if i be "desperate e", i go swear for u and e for catch u wa oo. she don get another one?

well,some just cant help it,its in them to feel that way.its like an adrenaline of some sort

Omosewa said...

Chei dat was so evil o, haba:o

I hope u r nicer now, lol...

The chic sef chop liver, hiss

innergrabis said...

Oh my gosh, Princesa, you are soooo fabulous, you are such a diva! I really like the way you handled that E! Wow, you are fantastic!
I guess this is what you like to hear as feedback, no? I second Obi's opinion.

UnNaked Soul said...

chei! this babe, u harsh oh. see ur cute face sef, how she no go fear. LoL

princesa said...

@allied,Everybody get liver na.:)

@olamild, Am sorry aunty for being a bad gurl!lol!

@anibodude, that swear for no catch me at all! Na she find my trouble o!I no no whether she don get another one sha.

@omosewa, lol! Am not nicer even more evil. RUN FOR UR LIFE!!!:)

princesa said...

@innergrabis, Sorry but i really dont want to hear you teel me am fab. Not at all. Just speak ur mind, its okay.

@unnakedsoul, lol! Cute babes plenty o! That na real yawa for her now.

Porter deHarqourt said...

I can't see anything wrong with what you did. she brought some beef to your turf, and then you took it to hers.

I used to have this girlfriend who would scowl at my female neighbours and friends...remaining for her to bark come bare her teeth join.

I couldn't stand it because I felt she was letting me know that she didn't trust me around other females.

But back to your story though, there's nothing wicked or evil about what you did. you put Desperate E in her place.

Obinwanne said...

nawa ooohh....controversy... LOL

Obinwanne said...

nawa ooohh....controversy... LOL

princesa said...

@porter,glad to hear that dude! I was even beginning to believe am evil,lol!
That ur babe na wa o! Scrowling ke???

@obinwanne, serious controversy o no be small!

Isi said...

nooooooooooooo!!!!! u shouldn't have done that! seriously, u shouldn't have!