Toastin,Toastin!

Hey guys! Its another new week and my prayer for everyone is that by the end of the week we shall all have at least one or two testimonies to tell.

This post i typed last friday but wasnt able to post it due to circumstances beyond my control(lol, cliche i know).



Am not talking about toasting bread or drinking to anything. Toasting in naija parlance simply means a guy trying to chat up/court a babe in view of starting up a love relationship.
Recently, I have noticed a current trend in the toasting style of guys. I call it a trend cos its not just me its happened to, some of my friends have also confirmed its happened to them too. Now what's this new trend, u asking? Ok, here it is-

Your phone rings, it's an unfamiliar number. You answer, its an unfamiliar voice too. Next thing you hear is: "Excuse me, who is this?" Now you are wondering what the hell this is all about. You ask: "Who is this? For God's sake, you called me!" The person at the other line (usually a male voice) says: "Sorry, but I saw this number on my phone and I just wanted to find out who it was since I couldn’t remember…bla bla bla" and he goes on. Next thing he is asking for your name, telling you how you got such a nice voice and how he would love to meet you in person. Sometimes they are lucky and the babe is also willing to meet up but if its someone like me then its their unlucky day.

Sometimes its really someone you know from the past and then you end up re-familiarizing with him or her but most times its just some random guy or babe looking to start up some sort of romance. What's beats me is how they get ones number or maybe they just dial a random number and hope their net catches a BIG fish.

Just this week alone, its happened to me twice. Will tell you about this morning experience. It was after 2am and I was enjoying my sweet sleep when the sound of my phone ringing woke me up. I glanced at the phone, unfamiliar number. I am wondering who could be calling me at such an odd hour. I have a good mind to ignore the call and carry on with my sleep but on a second thought I decide to pick it.

Me (still groggy): "Hello, who is it?"
Caller: Hello, who is this?"
See me see wahala o!, which kain question be this.
Me (fully awake now): "You called me and you don’t know who you called or what"
Caller: "Am sorry, am Honourable ABC, I saw your number on my phone and I was curious to know who had the number"
Me: "Hmm… Ok so its my number"
Caller: "What is your name and where are you right now"
(Am thinking whether to cut off the phone or just humor him a little. Settling for the later, I thought up a name quickly)
Me: "My name is Jane and am in lagos"
Caller: "Ok am in Port-harcourt, Do you come to Port-harcourt regularly?"
Me: "No I don’t, I haven't been to Port-harcourt in 3 years"
Caller: "Am trying to remember where I know you, Are you in school?"
Me: "No am not. I left school some years ago"
Caller: "Which University did you attend?"
Me: " I went to XXX University"
Caller: " Oh! Now am getting it. I had a nephew who went to the same university"
Me: "Hmmm…ok"
Caller: "Are you a beautiful girl"
(Am thinking- Na wetin come bring that one now)
Me: "What has my being beautiful got to do with this?"
Caller: "I used to be in the National Assembly in that state and my nephew used to get me the phone numbers of beautiful girls, I would call them and they would come over and I usually settle them very very well o!"
(What sort of information is this? Who ask you to tell me your dirty secrets?? Hiss)
Me: I don’t think I have ever met you and i don’t know your nephew and now you've remembered how you got my number, I 'll like to go back to sleep. You woke me up"
Caller: "Yes maybe we never met but we can still meet now, Can I send you some money to come down to Port-harcourt?"
Now am thinking, this man must be really stupid, he hasnt met me and is talking about sending me mone to come see him in PH.
Me: "Sorry, am not into that game"
Caller: "What game, am only inviting you to Port-harcourt, I will make it worth your while"
(See this craze man o! he doesn’t understand English or what?)
Me: " I really have to sleep now, am not interested, bye bye"
Caller: "But……"

I dropped the phone. Now I don’t know if the guy was actually saying the truth or if he just tried to dial a random number and got me. It is even more shameful when it’s a girl doing this. Some girls actually seek out some rich dude's phone numbers and go calling in the sexiest voice they can muster. They may be lucky and if the guy is an easy one, something might just brew from there.

One fact is that this trend is becoming more and more rampant and am sure it works for some people if not they wont still be doing it.

Have you ever had one of such calls? Maybe you can share your experience with us.