Monday, August 13, 2007

Toastin,Toastin!

Hey guys! Its another new week and my prayer for everyone is that by the end of the week we shall all have at least one or two testimonies to tell.

This post i typed last friday but wasnt able to post it due to circumstances beyond my control(lol, cliche i know).



Am not talking about toasting bread or drinking to anything. Toasting in naija parlance simply means a guy trying to chat up/court a babe in view of starting up a love relationship.
Recently, I have noticed a current trend in the toasting style of guys. I call it a trend cos its not just me its happened to, some of my friends have also confirmed its happened to them too. Now what's this new trend, u asking? Ok, here it is-

Your phone rings, it's an unfamiliar number. You answer, its an unfamiliar voice too. Next thing you hear is: "Excuse me, who is this?" Now you are wondering what the hell this is all about. You ask: "Who is this? For God's sake, you called me!" The person at the other line (usually a male voice) says: "Sorry, but I saw this number on my phone and I just wanted to find out who it was since I couldn’t remember…bla bla bla" and he goes on. Next thing he is asking for your name, telling you how you got such a nice voice and how he would love to meet you in person. Sometimes they are lucky and the babe is also willing to meet up but if its someone like me then its their unlucky day.

Sometimes its really someone you know from the past and then you end up re-familiarizing with him or her but most times its just some random guy or babe looking to start up some sort of romance. What's beats me is how they get ones number or maybe they just dial a random number and hope their net catches a BIG fish.

Just this week alone, its happened to me twice. Will tell you about this morning experience. It was after 2am and I was enjoying my sweet sleep when the sound of my phone ringing woke me up. I glanced at the phone, unfamiliar number. I am wondering who could be calling me at such an odd hour. I have a good mind to ignore the call and carry on with my sleep but on a second thought I decide to pick it.

Me (still groggy): "Hello, who is it?"
Caller: Hello, who is this?"
See me see wahala o!, which kain question be this.
Me (fully awake now): "You called me and you don’t know who you called or what"
Caller: "Am sorry, am Honourable ABC, I saw your number on my phone and I was curious to know who had the number"
Me: "Hmm… Ok so its my number"
Caller: "What is your name and where are you right now"
(Am thinking whether to cut off the phone or just humor him a little. Settling for the later, I thought up a name quickly)
Me: "My name is Jane and am in lagos"
Caller: "Ok am in Port-harcourt, Do you come to Port-harcourt regularly?"
Me: "No I don’t, I haven't been to Port-harcourt in 3 years"
Caller: "Am trying to remember where I know you, Are you in school?"
Me: "No am not. I left school some years ago"
Caller: "Which University did you attend?"
Me: " I went to XXX University"
Caller: " Oh! Now am getting it. I had a nephew who went to the same university"
Me: "Hmmm…ok"
Caller: "Are you a beautiful girl"
(Am thinking- Na wetin come bring that one now)
Me: "What has my being beautiful got to do with this?"
Caller: "I used to be in the National Assembly in that state and my nephew used to get me the phone numbers of beautiful girls, I would call them and they would come over and I usually settle them very very well o!"
(What sort of information is this? Who ask you to tell me your dirty secrets?? Hiss)
Me: I don’t think I have ever met you and i don’t know your nephew and now you've remembered how you got my number, I 'll like to go back to sleep. You woke me up"
Caller: "Yes maybe we never met but we can still meet now, Can I send you some money to come down to Port-harcourt?"
Now am thinking, this man must be really stupid, he hasnt met me and is talking about sending me mone to come see him in PH.
Me: "Sorry, am not into that game"
Caller: "What game, am only inviting you to Port-harcourt, I will make it worth your while"
(See this craze man o! he doesn’t understand English or what?)
Me: " I really have to sleep now, am not interested, bye bye"
Caller: "But……"

I dropped the phone. Now I don’t know if the guy was actually saying the truth or if he just tried to dial a random number and got me. It is even more shameful when it’s a girl doing this. Some girls actually seek out some rich dude's phone numbers and go calling in the sexiest voice they can muster. They may be lucky and if the guy is an easy one, something might just brew from there.

One fact is that this trend is becoming more and more rampant and am sure it works for some people if not they wont still be doing it.

Have you ever had one of such calls? Maybe you can share your experience with us.

31 comments:

Aijay said...

Yay!!! I'm 1st.
Princesa, what's my prize?

Aijay said...

Princesa, you were really patient with that guy, answering his questions politely.
I would have given him a tongue lashing.

This calling of random numbers has become a trend & has gotten some people into trouble, even babes.

I know a so called 'big girl' who stole my friend's toaster's num from my friend's phone. This girl deleted his num from my friend's phone & started calling him. She hooked up with the guy & then deleted my friend's num from the guy's phone.

We live in a small world, so eventually, my friend found out & the 'big girl' appologised & blamed her actions on the devil. lol......

I guess for some people, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Manda said...

who say make aiijay come first? well, i am second.

Manda said...

babe, come to think of it, i think it's da new trend o!

i have had like 6 annonymous callers o! but imma talk about one.


There's this short nite that i was jejely trying to catch some sleep when my fone rang, normally i ignore these midnite callers but the fone was worrying my sleep so i managed to pick the call thinking it was maybe a longlost friend o! now i hear

caller: Hey shola

me: Wrong number

caller: o!, sorry about dat.

me: no probs, byezzz. (lemme continue my sleep na)

Caller: ok, i know u're not shola but can i talk to you?

Me: no u cant, i'm sleepy.

Caller: i am xxx, n i live in Ikeja, do u stay in lagos?

Me: no, i stay in Kano. Now can i sleep!

Caller: wow, i have always wanted to visit kano, guess this is the rite tyme. Can i see u dis weekend?

(abeg o!) Kano no far? i just dey ask.

Me: ermmm, wat did u say ur name is? i am a married woman and my hubby is already acting grumpy, so would u mind leaving me in peace?

Caller: OMG! u sound sooo sexy, can i get to meet u, i'll really like to know u more. (guess he get's turned on by married women) wahala!

Me: in my baritone voice, the next tyme u call my number again! Ogun will fire ur head! stupid boy, go and tell ur elder sis she sounds sexy and i dropped.

(now sleep don comot eye, so i do nite vigil cos of yeye caller).

ehen, i forgot to add dis guy kept reminding me he was caling cos it's mtn free call. CHEAP BROKE ASS LIKE AM.LOL

Manda said...

u for tell am to send the money to motherless babies home na, as the money don dey throway. yeye pple!

La Reine said...

I guess some people get lucky doing this kind of random calling. I got one like that at school once, everytime dude called I gave the phone to someone else.
Too many gives I suppose.

princesa said...

@aijay,congrats darling.
So wetin i go give you now(brain racking)....
Ok i give you the Royal Cup for coming first on pricesa's blog on Monday, the 12th of august,lol.
That so called big girl na real desperado o!She went to that length!!!

@manda, lmao! Girl u got be laughing my head off here o! U no go kill me with laughter!!
That guy no go miss road dial ur number again for im life again.
The cow even told you he was calling cos it was free, Ewu mme!!

@la reine, yea some of them get lucky.

Obi said...

You'd be surprised how often this works..statistically, out of every 10 crank calls the "toaster" makes, 2 or 3 would belong to regular "runs" babes...who wouldn't mind the call anyway...GSM revolution..!!

Omosewa said...

LOL,honorable kor, you were even nice, i would have cut the fone 30secs in. Amen@ the prayer, amen oo.

diary of a G said...

thats funny P
them dudes are serious
lol
my nephew used to get me the phone numbers of beautiful girls
those dudes kill me

AN IBO DUDE'S CORNER said...

it works oooo

for some people sha

i've had some experience but i no go share am here sha ( i no wan copy manda wey turn comment into post....lol..)

manda, i no yab you oooo

Sparkle said...

LOL, na wa o
d guy really stupid o
damn! u are patient...na luck for him if I even pick d phone..I go allow d thing ring finish then I turn off d phone, but if I con pick and him begin talk about him nephew and d babes, I no wan hera I go just curse am out then cut it off
I'm not that patient abeg

Sparkle said...

so, wetin happen with ur brother and d crazy boss?

princesa said...

@obi, yes o! The thing dey work for some peeps.

@omosewa,yea i guess i was a nice to the craze man. E jam me for better mood.Amen too.

@DOG, yea the guy was funny and stupid!

@Anibodude, since you no wan share am for my blog, make you post am for ya own o!How far? U don travel yet??

@Sparkle, lol. My brother's case hasnt been resolved yet o! The bank authorities havnt said anything. Fingers crossed.

princesa said...

@obi, yes o! The thing dey work for some peeps.

@omosewa,yea i guess i was a nice to the craze man. E jam me for better mood.Amen too.

@DOG, yea the guy was funny and stupid!

@Anibodude, since you no wan share am for my blog, make you post am for ya own o!How far? U don travel yet??

@Sparkle, lol. My brother's case hasnt been resolved yet o! The bank authorities havnt said anything. Fingers crossed.

Nyemoni said...

Hey Naw wah o! So this is the new style of toasting? I got a call from some random guy some months ago at midnight and he went like Hello? Tosin? I was like Sorry wrong number, and he said isn't this Tosin and I shouted..I SAID THIS IS NOT TOSIN...ARE YOU THAT JOBLESS AS TO DISTURB PEOPLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ALL BECAUSE MTN ALLOWS YOU FREE CALLS? BLA BLA BLA... the guy just hung up on me before I finished my Tirade....lol! God abeg oh! Were I in the mood, I would have definitely said Yes, this is Tosin and played along...Hehehehe!

princesa said...

@nyemoni,lol, this midnight free calls dey cause wahala o!

A Kel called Wonder ...... said...

Lol You answered well, it might have been Dan Foster and his cool FM gang!!!! lol

A Kel called Wonder ...... said...

And how far with your brother?

pamelastitch said...

lol!! first, do you guys get free nights phone calls in naija if so that will explain it -if they put some money on those calls, i think it will cut down those desperate men.

One day, i was chilling at my friends house (in the states), it was late at night - about 11 pm (you know we girls no dey shut up when we go and hang out with our girlfriends). All of a sudden, her phone rings..she looks it...hmmm "unavailable..let me see who it is"...

I see the smile on her face when she realizes that it is male then next thing i see is shock and then , "i hear, you got the wrong number bye"...

It turns out that this guy was feeling horny...so he called a random number (my friend) and after the initial introductions, he asked her if she masturbates and if she could do it on the phone for him to listen.

What lesson did i learn? Never pick up calls from anonymous numbers....


the end...
clap for pammy..kpam kpam kpam kpam kpam again again...opps..i think i am regressing...

Pammy

30+ said...

@Lol at post, you are a bit like me being civil after the 2-3 sentences from the guy.
@Pammy what are you high on (lol)

princesa said...

@a kel,they wouldnt be doing the Cool candid phone thing in the dead of the night, would they?
My brother is fine, they havnt passed sentence yet,lol. Thanks for asking dear.

@pammy,lol. Regressing?! I support 30+, babe you are high!

@30+, am not always dat civil o! The guy was lucky.

Olamild said...

brahahahahahah 4 now
will be back to give my real comment
Some men have no life

Rinsola said...

so what happened to ur brother?

princesa said...

@olamild, please come back soon o!
@rinsola, oh! I see you missed the last post. Check it out.

pamelastitch said...

hmmm

i think i am high on life...what can i say... :-)

but seriously do not pick up calls from numbers you do not know...

:-)

princesa said...

@pammy, for Naija here, that wont work o since lots of peeps call from biz centres and their numbers usually dont show. If you say you wont pick up unknown number calls then u will end up missing lots of calls.

Confessions of a moody crab said...

Na wa oh. Haven't pple heard of stalkers or serial killers?!?!

I'm too paranoid to play such games.

Oracle said...

The fact still remains that you don't know where he got your number.

princesa said...

@moody crab we have o but that one no common for naija sha.

@oracle,thats true, i dont care anyway.

Babawilly said...

You are really patient.Typically one would expect rudeness from a Naija woman at 2 am if it is an unfamiliar number.
I hope you fine a nice gentleman to toast you in a more considerate hour