Wednesday, July 4, 2007

‘DOCTOR’ MY TEDDY.




I love teddies! Infact I love all stuffed animals, ugly or pretty as long as they are cuddly, I love them! Yea,I know, old mama like me, I don’t care. Maybe its becos I am the only girl amongst my siblings and having no one to play girly games with while growing up I had to turn to my dolls and teddies for comfort. It was either that or risk breaking a leg playing football with the boys (I did join once in a while and yes I sprained my knee once). My love for dolls waned as i went from girl to lady, but I never gave up on my stuffed animals and i still have a 'lil collection up till now. The biggest of them all is a big, cuddly teddy that I call ‘Doctor’ cos he’s got these cute eyeglasses that reminds me of a doctor friend of mine. Doctor was given to me about four years back by my brother as a birthday gift and since then he has always been my bedside companion, a much needed warmth on cold nights (am making do with him till I get a permanent bed warmer). Recently he disappeared(adbucted more like) but luckily I found him last week behind the settee in the living room, poor thing was looking so rumpled and harassed. Am sure it was the handiwork of my mum and her sister-my aunty. I’m going to tell you why they did it.

In the first place my mum has never hid her dislike for all my teddies and every little chance she gets, she starts to tell me about how ‘these things can be possessed by some demon”. You know like in the movie- CHUCKY. Usually when she starts, I just laugh and try to calm her fears with “Mum! These things are harmless! They are just stuffed animals” and she would always go” I have told you my own o! You this stubborn girl”. She would rest the case there only to bring it up again any chance she got.

2 months ago, my mum’s sister came to visit us and one day while we (mumsy, aunty and me) were gisting in my room the issue of marriage came up(it always does at times like this) and my aunty started-



Aunty: Ehen, princess, when are you calling us o?
Me (feigning ignorance): Calling you for what aunty? My birthday??
Mum: Silly girl, which birthday? Aunty is talking about your wedding!
Me: Wedding?? Haba Mummy, but you know I cant marry myself na.
Aunty: Hmmm…. So what about all these young men that are coming around you?
Me: Youngmen? Where are they?? There are no young men o,aunty.
Mum: Don’t mind her, that’s not true. She is just too picky, always finding one fault or the other with all her suitors.
Me (feigning hurt): Mummy!! So you want me to just marry any man that comes my way eh? Is dat what you are saying??
Aunty: That’s not what you mother is saying, all we are saying is you are not getting any younger dear, choose one of them, no body is perfect you know.
Me (tired of arguing now): Ok I hear aunty, just provide one young man now and see if I won’t marry him tomorrow.
Mum: Na so! Let him come now and lets see if you won’t say his head is too big or his leg too short.
Me: Mummy!!!!
Aunty (to my mother now): Sister, on a second thought, I think the problem this girl is having is all these ogbanje things she has in her room like dis one now(picking up doctor(my teddy) from my bed and throwing him on the floor). This thing is blocking you from getting married if you don’t know.
Mum (nodding her head in agreement): yes you are right. Tell her o! I have talked and talked but she won’t ever listen. Those things are possessed.
Me (picking up my teddy): Please you guys should stop, what has this teddy got to do with my marriage now?
Aunty: You are asking? You don’t know that the love you are supposed to be giving to a man is what you are pouring on these things and as long as you keep having them around you won’t be able to love a man enough to marry him.
Me: God! I cant believe you are saying this aunty! This teddy has got nothing to do with my loving any man. Please lets just change this topic. Don’t worry, God will give me my husband very soon so you can do ‘asoebi’ ok?
Aunty: Amen o! But you still have to throw this thing away o! Abi sister?
Mum: Yes, we will get rid of it for her.
Me: Let me not look for my teddy o!

Two days later, I returned from work to find that doctor had disappeared. I immediately went to ask my mum and her sister.
Me: My teddy is missing. Where did you guys put him?
Mum (feigning surprise): Teddy? Which teddy??(Looking at her sister) Did u see any teddy???
Aunty: Teddy ke! I didn’t o! (To me)Have you checked your room properly)
(Am thinking to my self, see these two old women o! Playing tricks with me)
Me: You people stop this now. Where have you hidden my teddy? I hope you didn’t burn it o!(now I was scared for doctor).
Aunty: Your mum has taken it to her school (mumsie has a school), she dashed it to the kids in Kindergarten.
Mum: Yes I did.
Me: You did what? Please bring back my teddy o! I don’t like all dis!
Mum: Don’t worry my dear, now we have removed it, you will see that your husband will come soon.
Aunty (concurring): Yes you will see.
(This people are serious o!)
Me: So it’s the kids in Kindergarten that deserve to keep a possessed teddy abi? Please bring back my teddy, I beg you.
Mum/Aunty (laughing at me): See old woman crying for teddy, u are not ashamed of yourself Princess.

I turned the house upside down but couldn’t find doctor. I had already begun making plans to go to mum’s school to retrieve my teddy when I stumbled on him that Saturday morning while cleaning the house. Am sure whoever hid him there had done it recently cos I had cleaned the house before then and didn’t remember seeing him there. Anyway, I dusted my teddy and returned him back to his place on my bed. Aunty has since left for her base but I still have a feeling my mum is trying to abduct the teddy again and this time he may not be so lucky. If I know my mum well, she may burn him up.
Seriously now guys, what do you think? The thought of a teddy blocking my chances at marriage is really absurd to me but I’ll also like to hear your opinions on this.




ps. The pic above is not my teddy(Doctor) but doesn't he look adorable.

38 comments:

Manda said...

I will tell mommy, totolito! u hid the Teddy! Totolito. Ona more serious note o! shei u know u look like all dis Ogbanjes cos they say any fair ibo gurl is an Ogbanje.hehehhehee]


Dont mind dem jare, will u marry urself? all dis mothers and thier marriage problem sef. Incase Doctor really needs a house, maybe he shld come so i'll adopt him as a foster mum, dat way u'll get to see him whenever u want. Just wanted to come and pop the Cherry first. will come do a proper reading tomoro.

princess said...

@manda,lol i know say u no read this post properly if not you for know say no be me hide the teddy.
Anyway thanks for popping in as usual but try come read am well tomorrow.

Ogbanje ke! i bind and reject in Jesus name,Amen.

TaureanMinx said...

Lol, your mum is just as bad as mine and her sisters.

Im A Babe said...

lol funny story!!
i love stuffed animals 2 and my mum cant stand it either. shes always tryin 2 get rid of them claiming they r taking up space

pamelastitch said...

LOL!! At least, yours was an abduction. They have not prayed all night virgil prayers over them yet. Just wait it is coming!!!


:D

pammy

diary of a G said...

Okay, cut the girlly cute little talk for a second, your mom and ur aunt might have a point

as a young girl you used to turn ur dolls and teddies for comfort

but

maybe ur a little too comfy with those teddies
at a stage where that - support system - should be coming from a partner you can rely on
as a "bedside companion" and a "permanent bed warmer" and more


I wouldn't say the teddies are blocking ur chances at marriage

but you've sure got a strong hold on to them(teddies)


when ur aunt said:
the love you are supposed to be giving to a man is what you are pouring on these things

makes me think why would she say that? Is it that serious?

after reading this post
I honestly believe that these Teddy bears
would come in between your relationship with a man
if he told you to get rid of the teddy bears as your moms and aunt did

like im a babe said
If they are taking up too much space
Princess sorry to break the news 2u
but "do the right thing"

and if the teddy bears aint bothering no one let em stay

pamelastitch said...

what the... diary of a g!! You no serious abeg!! So when men buy teddy bears for their gals during the valentine, is the hidden plan that the woman will look at the teddy bear and throw it in the garbage can because she is waiting for the RING...

Biko ka mmadu nu ihe jare - let man pikin hear word!!!

:P

pammy

pamelastitch said...

lol

hopefully you get my point o....excuse typos


pammy....

princess said...

@Tminx,i guess when it comes to marriage, all mums are the same.

@im a babe, welcome to the club darling.Thanks for dropping by.

princess said...

@pamelastitch,lol @ night vigil prayers! If they try that, i may have to do some prayers for them too.No be only them sabi drive demon o!
Thanks for coming through for me sweetie.

@DOG,I honestly dont believe that these Teddy bears would come in between my relationship with a man, infact am looking forward to when i will have a real man to hold on to on cold nights instead of 'Doctor'.
Btw, wats the right thing brother? Throw my teddy away??

Manda said...

Gurl i have a funnier story about dis Ogbanje thing maybe i'll blog about it.

Somehow i think ur mom and aunt r rite! you should let go of the teddy or maybe give it a lil breathing space. You are becoming too comfy wit the fact dat u got ur Superman rite by ur side and cant be bothered bout getting a REAL Superman. I dont really believe in all da bullsh*t bout myths and supernatural devils but i do believe dat psychologically u r maybe building a wall around u and ur life.

I know Mr rite is not easy to get o! but i also believe there's nuthin like Mr Perfect so i advise u get someone dat u think u love most things about him and try build the remaining qualities u want in him.

PS: PLZ DONT LET UR MOM BURN DOCTOR O!

Ugo Daniels said...

Ok, quick question, where are all the eligible bachelors in Lag that you're still single? This is absurd...lol!

princess said...

@manda, MANDA! MANDA!!MANDA!!!
how many times i call you??? Nolet me flog you o!
E belike say you want make i dash you Doctor make you sef use am do 'Superman'. I know your plan and it can't fitn't work! abeg i need one carton of biscuit this weekend, You never shack guys for that your raise o!

princess said...

lol,i think i like shouting O! O! O! O!

princess said...

@UgoD, Jukwa m ozo (ask me again),my brother i tire o!If no be say u are taken,i for beg you to apply but i no want make Nkem break my head.

Calabar Gal said...

Dont mind ur mum and ur aunty. There's no such thing as a teddy blocking you from loving anyone. The right guy just hasnt come yet. LOL!!

princess said...

@CG,love you babes!Just what i think!!

A Kel called Wonder ...... said...

Lol Teddy blocking ur way - Abi the teddy na vodoo? or jazz?

On a more serious note - nothing wrong wit having teddies. Mum's ar all the same, teddy's or none they will still harass u, whats wit mums and marriage.

I'll give u a tip - it worked for me for a while - ask ur mum or aunt in presense of mum to introduce, find or dash - anyone goes u a man and see if u wont agree. Trust me any time they start u do same, they will leave u alone, (note: for a while o).

And thanks for stopping by on my blog

La Reine said...

I sincerely doubt that the love you 'pour on your teddies' is the same you pour on your man if you were married. The thought is so funny to me.
I know diary of a g mentioned something about your using Doctor as a beside compainion, but I don't think even an avid teddy bear collector would sleep in a bed saddled by her husband and a teddy!......I can't believe they hid it though :)

Thanks for dropping in by the way.

princess said...

@a kel called wonder, That's what i do now o!(see blog) and am hoping it works.

@la reine,lol. yea you are right! Who would want to be disturbed by a teddy when you are doing it? I go just fling the teddy o jare!Forgive me Doctor.

Sparkle said...

I guess it's just me
I'm not so girly, never liked teddy bears
lol, I prefered playing with toy cars, trains and stuff...I don't even dress like a girl
lol...it was so hard when I got out of nigeria, most fools here thought I was gay
lmao


nice post by d way...na wa o
lol

classybabe said...

Lol.Your mom and aunty are funny,why do mothers always think their daughters are picky when it comes to getting married,same thing my mom says.

catwalq said...

OH MY LORD, DIS IS TEW TEW HILARIOUS
CONSPIRACY AGAINTS THE TEDDY!!
UR MUM MEANS BUSINESS MEN, U BETTER FIND ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS TO POSE AS UR MAN FOR A WHILE, TILL SHE MOVES ON TO OTHER THINGS.

BTW: THANKS FOR STOPPING BY MY BLOG

Omosewa said...

LOL@Ogbanje teddy, thats hilarious.

diary of a G said...

Like Manda says:
Its the psychology behind it

Obi said...

Hmm...no comment...!!

Ishtar said...

Hi princess! Just wanted to hear if got a post somewhere on your blog for the upcoming Beautiful African Carnival? Check out the specifics at:

http://ishtarnews.blogspot.com/2007/07/next-edition-of-beautiful-africa-coming.html

Would love your contribution!

Greetings,
Isthar

NIGERIA POLITRICKS said...

Ummmmh, love and Teddy!...and mothers and their constant bickering with their daughters to get married.(**shakes head and leaves room**)

...toyintomato said...

lol...a teddy intervention...hahah
dont mind yur people, they are just trying to find a reason where there is none..

Manda said...

lalalllalalallllalalaaaallaaaalalalalaalala. Came to say hiiiiii! Has Doctor being abducted again? Just asking.lol

princess said...

@sparkle,yea its allowed to prefer toy cars and trains but even here in Naija,people go wonder o!
Btw, u look very girly to me sha!

@classybabe, i think they just do that to keep you on your toes. Funny enough, they would be the first to find faults when you finally bring the guy home.

@Catwalq,hmmm... will he also pose as my husband on the altar??

princess said...

@DOG, yea yea, Rapper turned psychologist!lol.

@obi, why no comment, berra comment now or.......SHARIA!

@ishtar,checking it out now.

@nigeria politricks,(princess reads and shakes head too).
Anyway thanks for dropping in.

princess said...

@toyintomato,Thanks. Am not minding then o jare!

@manda,lol,if doctor gets abducted again am coming to search ur house cos i no trust you this gal!

Pink-satin said...

mothers sa!and this whole marrigae thing

diary of a G said...

how comes I can't exact your Adanna page?
rapper turn psychologist?
your funny I like that
but I was a psychologist before I became a rapper FYI: lol

princess said...

@DOG, i dont have an Adanna page. Dont know how that came about but its weird cos thats my name too.

Friend of God said...

thats one funny piece...

cinnamonqueen said...

your post was so much fun to read, the conspiracy of the two sisters to get rid of one poor teddy. Don't let them put you off your teddy, mothers and aunties will always look for an excuse until they see you happily married.