Monday, September 17, 2007

Me & My Body...Its a war!!!



You see my body has a mind of its own. Some times (Most times more like) what I want is not what it wants so there is a constant battle going on. Who wins finally…yet to be decided.

A TYPICAL DAY

6.00am my alarm goes off. Grrrrrring!!!

Me: Ha! Its 6.00am , wake up you lazy body!
My body: What?! Abeg leave me o jare…its just six, give me 30 minutes more ok.
Me: What do u me…
(my body closes her eyes and head back to sleepland)

20 mins later. 6.20am

Me: Jesus! Its 6.20 and you are still in bed!! Come on get ur ass out of this bed fast! You want to go late to work or what??
My body : (Grumbling) Oh oh! Take it easy joo am getting up.
Me: Is this what you will be doing when I get that my dream job on the island eh? You have to start practicing now o because then you will have to wake up by 4am.
My body: For where?? Abeg no let me vex o! Are you even sure you will get the job? Stop threatening me jare, lets wait till the job comes.
Me: Whats dat one now? Abeg if na curse I reject am o! I must get the job! If not this one, some other one will come. Just be prepared to wake up by 4 am then.
My body: (Snickering) Till then girl, till then.
Me: Get on your knees, let say the morning prayer.
My body: (kneeling and resting head on the bed) Oya start.
Me: Which kain posture be dat now? You want to start second round(sleep) abi??
My body: Who said?! Cant a body pray in the most comfortable position?? Even God wont object to that!
Me: You are too stubborn! Okay lets pray…In the name of the father….

6.35am
Me: What are you doing?? I cant believe this! You are SLEEPING!!
My body: Amen.
Me: What is Amen?? You have been sleeping! Now raise your head from that bed and stay upright. We have kept GOD waiting too long, lets pray now.
My body: Now upright! Ok Ok sorry! Let’s pray.

Ten mins later. 6.45am

Me: Its time for bath now. Mind you it has to be a fast one o seeing as time is against us now. We have to leave this house by 7.25 latest so I can be in the office by 8.
(am luckier than most, On the good days, it’s a 35 mins drive from home to work but if its one of the crazy traffic days then it takes like 45mins)
My body: Ehen! Me I don’t want one of those you 5 mins bath o! I want to soak…
Me: Soak what?? No time for that now o! You have to make do with the 5 mins bath today, ok ok i I will make it 10 minutes, nothing more.
My body: Okay but let me tell you now o! The water has to be hot.
Me: God! Which kain body be dis na?? Please dear God, I need a body replacement o!
My body: Body replacement ko! Body replacement ni! You are stuck with me whether you like it or not! If I were you I would hurry up and boil the water o! Its your time you are wasting not mine.

Ten minutes later. 6.55am. (In the bathroom now)

My Body: (complaining) You didn’t brush this teeth well o! My mouth still feels somehow.
Me: Na you sabi. Am through with brushing. Lets get to the main thing o jare.
My body: Scrub my back well…and my feet too. Use that foot scrub o!
Me: Your ten minutes is expired! We are getting out of here silly!

7.05am.

Me: (looking at the clock) We have just 20 mins to dress up and get out of here you vain body so I don’t want any sme sme(fussiness) o!
My body: Na you know wetin be sme sme! I just know I want to be well creamed and you have to oil my hair and brush it till it shines o!
Me: Of cos I will do that but no time to do make up o! That will have to wait till we get to the office.
My body: No o! I cant go with out make up! I no belong to Mountain of Fire ministeries o!
Me: Come on sharrap! I will pity you and apply foundation but that is all!!!

15minutes later. 7.20am. All dressed up and ready to go.

My body: Wont you put something in my stomach??
Me: No!
My body: You wicked o! Oya just one cup of tea and a slice of bread.
Me: I said No!...and don’t you start tormenting me with those hunger pangs o!
My body: (chuckling devilishly) You are in for it!


This fight between me and my body never ends o! It goes on and on during the day like this.
Maybe sometime soon I will put down some of the exchange that goes on during the day. For now I have to go back to work and stop complaining you body!
I'd like to know guys, do you sometimes fight with ur body like this or is it just me??
















39 comments:

Aijay said...

Yay!!! I'm first!

Aijay said...

Oh, I'll like to thank my dad, brothers, boyfriend, peeps, ISP and lets not forget the big guy up there for making this happen...

Aijay said...

Lmao... Babes, u r a clown. So u need a body replacement. Careful what u wish for oh. Lol.
I can so relate to ur plight. I fight with mine all the time. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak!

Aijay said...

Lol @ "wont you put something in my stomach??"
Poor Princesa's body!
U are wicked for real. Lol

30+ said...

That your body na real ogbologbo of stubborness. maybe you should flog it to teach it some lesson (lol).

I think they should change the saying to "the spirit is willing but the flesh is stubborn"

bighead said...

lmao @ this post. Really funny. We all have disobedient bodies. Infact, you know they say bad company corrupts good morals; my body has corrupted me, the two no longer quarrel. To the extent that the body is even the responsible one.

Sparkle said...

LOL...my mom will be like
hmm dis girl, is this how u will be sleeping when u get married? the kids will be hungry and u're still laying on d bed...oya get up yeye girl"
LOL...funny post...I feel dat way most times too

Rinsola said...

lol..i remember when my alarm woke me up this morning, i was like "It's just 6:28, i thot i set the alarm for 6:30" Our bodies could be quite stubborn at times, especially when it comes to the issue of sleep. Hope ur day is going on well?

princesa said...

@aijay,lol! Babes what was dat up there?? You dey do request show for my blog?? Reminded me of those Xmas Kids show on NTA when we were kids:"I will like to say merry christmas to m daddy and my mummy and my sister...bla bla bla.
Any way na you carry cup o!

@30+, that saying is very apt. The body is stubborn! Flog my body...na na na.

@bighead!lol @ your body corrupting you. You berra take control dude!

@Sparkle, ur mum is nice o!When my mama take cold water bath you for bed eh... no be person go tell you to jump up!

princesa said...

@rinsola, my day is going well thank you dear.

Everyone Loves a Naija Girl said...

Princesa!

I missed you soo much. How is everything now? I guess I have a lot of posts to read lol.

I know what you are talking about with the body having a mind of its own. Especially in the morning when I am trying to get up for class lol.

princesa said...

@everyone loves a naija girl, Look Who the cat dragged in!!!!

Where have you been darling???
I missed ya plenty too.

Was about hiring a private investigator to locate you o!

Hope you are back for good this time, no more MIA!

diary of a G said...

that's a hell of a body you got there P..lol..well written

pamelastitch said...

LOL!!!!

Mommy said...

'Thunderous Hilarity!' You no go kill me. I can relate with you on this one. When my body wants to embarass me, I get to the office with swollen eyes. The part of my body that everyone would notice kwikly. Have a nice day ok!
PS: Where is Manda?

Manda said...

Mommy: work has finally finished me! i did not visit blogville at all yesterday o! N today is killing, hope the party has not begun o!


P, yeye body. I start setting my alarm from 4:30am so i'll start getting myself ready for the 6am final alarm. The thing dey tire person jare. Funny blog!

AN IBO DUDE'S CORNER said...

....and you are complaining

by the time ur alarm rings, i am already sitting in my office facing my laptop after having the same battles an hour or more before.

exschoolnerd said...

Princesa,i totally feel this post..check my blog..this post inspired me to do my own..my body post!!

princesa said...

@DOG, thanks dude.

@pammy,just lol???

@mommy, swollen eyes from lack of sleep or too much crying?

@manda dearie, take am easy with the work o!

@anibodude,you cant fit complain o! That why your salary plenty na!!

@exschoolnerd, checking you out soon!

Afrobabe said...

Oh my God, you are just crazy...tot this things happen to just me...the worse part is if you jump into the bath,start then need to use the loo....Me hates man...

Omosewa said...

Lmaooooooooooooooo, omg i'm tearing up. I just got this job that requires me getitng up at 6:45am, honestly, its not even funny, i guess i'll get used to it later, but for now, it's not fun. LOL, u r too funny.

princesa said...

@afrobabe, lol!
Disaster!!
I wont give in o! The stubborn body just has to hold it in till i get to work/back home.

@omosewa, lol 6.45 and you are complaining! People lke Ibodude up there will chop you raw o! I even better pass you sef!
Dont worry love,its like dat at first, soon you will get the hang!

Friend of God said...

hahahaha very very funny and TRUE my sister....
Sometimes i wish i could get out of my body and scold myself...
Unfortunately if someone else does it, it hurts our pride.

Friend of God said...

"i dun belong to mountain of fire ministries o"
Princesa, you have totally cracked me up with laughter...i have to read the whole post again

princesa said...

@FOG, glad it made you laugh!
That was the whole point...to find some thing good out of the whole wahala.

Babawilly said...

Princesa, nice write up. Enjoyed looking at your pics. You no even wear ring abi na blind men live for yua side of Lagos? I digress.
Must confess, I am absolutely lazy in the mornings but I have been improving.
Body replacement eh? OK , there is this muscular girl in my gym with smol moustache. Hardly noticeable...They say its the steroids stinging up her breath. You what?
Na wa. The body will always need disciple.

Ugo Daniels said...

Interesting!

badderchic said...

i agree with u Ugo just add mega...

unshined congo said...

nice one! We all have those days where we battle with our bodies but as for me, dat day is everyday... confusing.. maybe.. lol

Obi said...

And a nice body it is too...!!

BiMbyLaDs** said...

stunning post.. the body is soo fleshy!! gosh!

Queen of My Castle said...

LOL...I swear I have a similar battle every day. When I lay prostrate in the midst of prayer/worship, I often wake to find that I have fallen asleep and can't remember if I ever got started on my prayer! *Shaking head* Sad, I know.

Olamild said...

hahahahhahahahah

THIS IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT

I LOVE IT

Writefreak said...

the story of all our bodies, you remind me of the battle i fight with my body everyday of the week, every week of the year...nice piece

diary of a G said...

hey P

Manda said...

Na wa o! we plenti wey neva update! Thank God o!

princesa said...

@babawilly, you clown! No be only muscular na akpu obi!!
E be like say na blind men dey live for my side o!

@Ugo & Badderchic & unshined congo, thanks.

@obi, thanks dear.
@bimbylads, lol @ fleshy! Is dat a compliment??

@qomc, very familiar dear.

@olamild,glad you did.
@writefreak, i guess its the story of all our bodies then.

@DOG, hey G!
@mand, lol! See ur head, i dey update now o!

Zephi said...

OMG that was so funny...typical me in the morning...strongling to wake up...my body does not want to anything....its indeed a battle....you look stunning in your pictures, if I were you Id just manage the body I have at least its fine.....lolo

princesa said...

@zephi, lol! Do i have a choice...its me and my body till eath do us part!! Thanks for the compliment.