RIDICULOUS ADVERTS & WHY CHOC IS BETTER THAN SEX

What’s up blogville?!!
Sorry for not posting as regularly as I used to. It wasn’t deliberate at all. You know how it is when duty calls now. One has just got to answer o, if not….hmmm…I no fit talk o

For those that have been calling to ask about the SBR. Abeg you guys should go and hold Charizard. Planning a party with that guy is not easy sha when I can hardly get hold of him. His phone is unavailable most of the time and e no dey even reply my email. Charizard call me oooooooooooooooooo!!!!

CITY PEOPLE AND THEIR RIDICULOUS ADVERTS
I hardly buy City People magazine(don’t ask me why) but last Tuesday, I couldn’t resist buying a copy when I saw our gongo aso crooner 9ice and his new wife Toni Payne on the cover. I read the story on their wedding and even got to know that our dear Toni Payne is even preggers. T.Payne Congrats oooo…E no easy at all!

So as I flipped through the paper, I noticed some kain funny adverts like that sha. I mean am used to the whole Get boobs like Dolly parton, Lose 100kg in one week, Enlarge your penis to 15inches and all those their funny claims but Grow taller herbs???Haba! Who invented those?!?!

The funny thing is that some people will actually carry their hard earned naira and go and buy that herb even when the person selling it is even shorter that my grandma’s kichen stool,lol!

Na wa for gullibility!

My dear people, if your shortness is hereditary as in your papa and mama and their ancestors dey short, wetin make you feel say any grow taller herbs can reverse your god given situation? Or maybe na so so akpu and amala you dey chop from small pikin and dat one come give you stunted growth, now what makes you think that any grow taller herbs can reverse the effect of all those years of akpu and amala with no protein? lol!

Anyway, I know say some people go still go buy those herbs. Abeg if you buy am and e work for you, please don’t fail to share your testimony with us o,lol! and if you buy am and e no work for you, no cry too much you hear, mugu fall, guy man chop, na so,lol!

Anyway, moving on….

I saw another one wey vex me well well sef.

“DELAY COULD BE DANGEROUS…CHIEF OLUWO SAYS
For your success, protection against witches and witchcrafts, Goodluck to become Millionaires. Billionaire and Multi-billionaire quickly, To be known throughout the world, To separate your sugar daddies from their wives, To separate your sugar mummies from their husbands, asking without refusal,e.t.c”

Imagine the concobility!!!
Goodluck to become millionaire, Billionaire and multi-billionaire ke???
I won’t be surprised if the said Chief Oluwo na one kain wretched poor man like dat living in one dilapidated looking building like dat and people will still go there for him to make them multi-billionaires. Is it frustration or what wey no dey let some people use the common sense wey Baba God give them enh?

If Chief Oluwo had powers to make people multi billionaires, why not make himself one first abi shouldn’t he use himself to set an example for others ke? He no even fit place full page advert, na one kain small 2x2 advert squeezed into one tiny corner of the paper na im e want use make person billionaire, shiou!

But the man bold sha.
He even get liver(guts) to dey advertise say im dey destroy people homes by separating sugar daddies from their wives and vice versa. Seriously is that not criminal?!!! And he put his office address there o,lol!

I think City people should start screening some of these adverts they carry in their papers cos they are kinda encouraging these people to carry on their nefarious activities.

Na God go save us for this Obodo Nigeria!

Abeg let me go and face more serious issues jare but before i go, i'll leave you with 12 reasons why chocolate is better than sex,lol!

12 Reasons Why CHOCOLATE is Better Than SEX!


1. You can have chocolate in front of your parents.

2. Nobody starts rumors about who you shared chocolate with.

3. People of the same sex can share chocolate without being called names.

4. The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.

5. Chocolate is satisfying even if it's gone soft.

6. No matter what kind of chocolate you like, it's legal.

7. You can have chocolate with a whole group of friends without being obscene.

8. If you have to pay for your chocolate, it's not too expensive.

9. Chocolate is just as attractive when you're sober.

10. A big piece of chocolate lasts longer, but even a small piece is satisfying.

11. You can have chocolate in the office without upsetting your co-workers.

12. It's easy to GET chocolate any time you want!!!

So guys you know how it is now, do more choc and less sex, okay?lol!

PLEASE GUYS, HELP A SISTER WITH SOME GOOD ADVICE HERE.
THANKS.

Womanizer or not?

Scenario…

You are a fine girl…
Walking down the road one day…
This fine car pulls up beside you…
The glass wounds down to reveal this fine dude behind the wheels…
He asks “Care for a lift baby?”
You hesitate for a moment, but then he really looks harmless so you say…
“Sure why not!”and get in…
You chat briefly as he drives on and you think “He’s not just a fine face sha”
Anywayz, you exchange numbers just before you get off…
He calls later and you talk for a while…
You start talking on the regular and become friends after a while…
Soon, he starts talking serious…
He wants marriage, all the works…
You wonder if he is really serious…
Or just looking to score…

Quick question for the ladies.
Can you take a man who offered you a lift seriously?
Wouldn’t you think that if he stopped to offer you a lift, he is probably a womanizer who picks up every fine lady he sees on the road and maybe when you get married to him, he’ll still keep up with his hobby of helping damsels in distress??

I mean, if he stopped for you, he could also stop for any other fine girl, abi?

Your take guys?

Weight Issues and Anorexic models

Been feeling a bit under the weather of late so I decided to go to the hospital yesterday. It was the first time I was going to this particular hospital so I had to go through the usual first time procedures-Opening of patient file, giving some personal info and all that. They also wanted to know my weight so I had to step on the weighing scale. OMG! This was something I hadn’t done in a while cos I was scared to know how much excess weight I was carrying around,lol!Anyway, I had to climb the scale and I was so ashamed when the nurse exclaimed Eighty five! Chineke! I never knew it had gotten so bad. I am quite tall (5.10 no be joke na) and I have a big frame so
you would most likely not call me fat.

I used to weigh 75kg and was a perfect size 12. I wasn’t slim even then but I loved my shape. Never liked stick thin. I believe a woman should have some flesh on her body and African women are known for their voluptuousness abeg!

But ehnnn 85kg? That is a crime!
How did I get the extra 10kg???
Lol! I shouldn’t be asking that silly question.
All the visits to Barcelos, TFC, Tantalizers and St.Elmos…the report don dey show now for my body, I come dey wonder,lol!
Barcelos choc chip icecream, you see wetin you don do me abi?
Silverbird popcorn, Haa…no be me and you again o…lol!

If I felt the scale was telling a lie, something else that happened at the choir practice yesterday evening easily dispelled that notion. A lady drew me aside and commented: “Sister, you are putting on weight o. I remember the first time I saw you, you looked so trim, please do something about it”
Meeen…if you see as my face red ehn…e no get part two,lol!

I didn’t need any further prompting.

So starting today July 11th 2008, princesa is embarking on the famous ATKINS diet again!!!


I tried the diet sometime last year and it really worked. Then I had gone from a size 12 to a size 14 going on 16 and it was imperative to drop the excess baggage. Drop it did eventually. I went back to being a sweet 12.

The trick to the ATKINS diet is to avoid carbs as much as you can even after reaching one’s desired weight but I didn’t stick to the rules. I went back to my old eating habits and the weight piled back on.

So today i resume the induction diet. It’s the strictest level where all you eat is protein and more protein. Already had Ewa agonyin(beans) this morning. Don’t know what am having for lunch yet. God…this diet no favour our Naija kind of foods o!


I hope the weight drops off quickly like it did the last time and dearest protein, I promise I won’t abandon you for my sweets and carbs again,lol!

Abeg o...I know say I want lose weight but no be dis kain one. Na anorexia abi na wetin dey do these people???








P.S: Plans for the SBR(Summer Bloggers Reunion) are still in progress. Its looking like we may have to reschedule so as to accomodate some bloggers who have indicated interest to attend. The two dates we are considering are August 23rd or September 6th. What do u think?

HAPPY WEEEKEND Y'ALL! I LOVE FRIDAYS!

Meme

Too busy(lazy?) to do a proper post. Make una manage this Meme.

1.What time did you get up this morning? 6.30am

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Chronicles of Narnia-Prince Caspian(Nice movie…loved it!)

4. What is your favorite TV show? Oprah

5. What did you have for breakfast? Pancakes

6. What is your middle name? Lol! I cant tell! Okay starts with a C.

7. What is your favorite cuisine/meal? Rice, beans and plantain with assorted meat

8. What foods do you dislike? Can’t think of any, yea I love food! Okay Couscous, I tried it once and didn’t like it. Maybe I didn’t prepare it well,lol!

9. Your favorite Potato chip? Pringles

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? One Republic

11. What kind of car do you drive? Toyota Corolla XLI (One small car like dat,lol!)

12. Favorite sandwich? Bread with eggs scrambled with tomatoes

13. What characteristics do you despise? Arrogance, Selfishness and Rudeness, Pretence

14. Favorite item of clothing? Dress tops

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? The Bahamas

16. What color is your bathroom? Cream

17. Favorite brand of clothing? I go for Fit not brand

18. Where were you born? Imo state, Nigeria

19. Favorite sport(s) to watch? Football

20. Who do you least expect to respond to this? dunno

21. Person you expect to respond first? Bumight,lol!

22. What laundry scent do you use? Ariel

23. Coke or Pepsi? Diet Coke

24. Are you a morning person or night owl? Morning

25. What size shoe do you wear? 9/41

26. Do you have pets? Yea…a dobberman

27. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? My dog is preggers, anyone wanna buy a Rothweiler?

28. What did you want to be when you were little? A Nun

29. Favourite Candy Bar? Don’t have a favourite!

30. What is your best childhood memory? Sunday visits to Burger hut,lol!

31. What are the different jobs you have had in your life? Teacher, Features producer(for a T.V station), Client Service manager, Copy writer

32. What color/type underwear are you? Black lace undies

33.Nicknames: Nnesco, Nwanyi Oma(fine lady)

34. Piercings ? Two in each ear

35. Eye color? Brown

36. Ever been to Africa? Africa is my home

37. Ever been toilet papering or rolling? This question na wa o. Toilet paper and Toilet roll no be the same thing? Anyway I use both, ope dat answers the question,lol!

38. Love someone so much it made you cry? Yes

39. Been in a car accident? Yea but nothing fatal

40. Croutons or bacon bits? Bacon Bits

41.Favorite day of the week? Friday

42. Favorite restaurant? Jevinic

43. Favorite flower? Rose

44. Favorite ice cream? Barcelos choc chip icecream

45. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Driver's test for Naija??!

46. What color is your bedroom carpet? No carpet, just blue plastic tiles

47. From whom did you get your last e-mail? Facebook

48. Which stores would you choose to max out your credit card? Marks & Spencers probably!

49. What do you do most often when you are bored? Read, Listen to music, dance or just sleep!

50. Bedtime? Midnight or thereabouts

51. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? Everyone on my blog fam list!

52. Last person you went to dinner with? My brother and a friend

53. What are you listening to right now? Chris Daughtry-Home

54. What is your favorite color? White

55. Lake, Ocean or river? Lake

56. How many tattoos do you have? None…not a fan of tattoos!

57. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken cos God created animals before they
started procreating.

If you are feeling too busy or lazy to do a real post, you are allowed to steal this meme,lol!

SUMMER BLOGGER REUNION

Last January we had the Naija Bloggers Party. Nigerian Bloggers, home based and international(lol!) all gathered at a nice cool joint and got to know ourselves over drinks. It was a blast and for those who missed out on that, another opportunity is here to get to meet your favourite bloggers in person and have fun while doing it.

I don’t know how many international bloggers(lol) can make it but I know we have a lot of home based bloggers too so there is no excuse o. For the anonymouses, don’t worry ur identity will be protected, ask those who attended the NBP.

We have tentatively picked a date- August 2nd. It can be changed if it doesn’t fit into the schedule of the majority.

As for venue, we are considering two options. The bar or the beach. No be bar beach o,lol!



For the bar option, we are considering COCONUT GROOVE on Awolowo road, Ikoyi but we are open to other suggestions.

For the beach option, we haven’t settled for any beach in particular but ALPHA BEACH looks like the best bet anyway.

Personally I prefer the beach option. Afrobabe no fear, dat ur dream no go come true,lol! The beach promises to be more groovy and we can let our hair down, don our sexy summer wears and boogie as much as we want unlike the bar option where we’ll likely be sitting round tables and spending our little money on expensive drinks. However we also need to note that this is the rainy season in Naija and we all know that a day at the beach is no fun under the rains.



Whatever sha, let me not influence any one’s decisions abeg.

We’ll like to know what you feel about the SBR. You can also RSVP here if you’ll be interested in attending.

Will keep you’all posted.

Thank God it’s Friday!!!

Enjoy ur weekend dears.