Wednesday, July 30, 2008

RIDICULOUS ADVERTS & WHY CHOC IS BETTER THAN SEX

What’s up blogville?!!
Sorry for not posting as regularly as I used to. It wasn’t deliberate at all. You know how it is when duty calls now. One has just got to answer o, if not….hmmm…I no fit talk o

For those that have been calling to ask about the SBR. Abeg you guys should go and hold Charizard. Planning a party with that guy is not easy sha when I can hardly get hold of him. His phone is unavailable most of the time and e no dey even reply my email. Charizard call me oooooooooooooooooo!!!!

CITY PEOPLE AND THEIR RIDICULOUS ADVERTS
I hardly buy City People magazine(don’t ask me why) but last Tuesday, I couldn’t resist buying a copy when I saw our gongo aso crooner 9ice and his new wife Toni Payne on the cover. I read the story on their wedding and even got to know that our dear Toni Payne is even preggers. T.Payne Congrats oooo…E no easy at all!

So as I flipped through the paper, I noticed some kain funny adverts like that sha. I mean am used to the whole Get boobs like Dolly parton, Lose 100kg in one week, Enlarge your penis to 15inches and all those their funny claims but Grow taller herbs???Haba! Who invented those?!?!

The funny thing is that some people will actually carry their hard earned naira and go and buy that herb even when the person selling it is even shorter that my grandma’s kichen stool,lol!

Na wa for gullibility!

My dear people, if your shortness is hereditary as in your papa and mama and their ancestors dey short, wetin make you feel say any grow taller herbs can reverse your god given situation? Or maybe na so so akpu and amala you dey chop from small pikin and dat one come give you stunted growth, now what makes you think that any grow taller herbs can reverse the effect of all those years of akpu and amala with no protein? lol!

Anyway, I know say some people go still go buy those herbs. Abeg if you buy am and e work for you, please don’t fail to share your testimony with us o,lol! and if you buy am and e no work for you, no cry too much you hear, mugu fall, guy man chop, na so,lol!

Anyway, moving on….

I saw another one wey vex me well well sef.

“DELAY COULD BE DANGEROUS…CHIEF OLUWO SAYS
For your success, protection against witches and witchcrafts, Goodluck to become Millionaires. Billionaire and Multi-billionaire quickly, To be known throughout the world, To separate your sugar daddies from their wives, To separate your sugar mummies from their husbands, asking without refusal,e.t.c”


Imagine the concobility!!!
Goodluck to become millionaire, Billionaire and multi-billionaire ke???
I won’t be surprised if the said Chief Oluwo na one kain wretched poor man like dat living in one dilapidated looking building like dat and people will still go there for him to make them multi-billionaires. Is it frustration or what wey no dey let some people use the common sense wey Baba God give them enh?

If Chief Oluwo had powers to make people multi billionaires, why not make himself one first abi shouldn’t he use himself to set an example for others ke? He no even fit place full page advert, na one kain small 2x2 advert squeezed into one tiny corner of the paper na im e want use make person billionaire, shiou!

But the man bold sha.
He even get liver(guts) to dey advertise say im dey destroy people homes by separating sugar daddies from their wives and vice versa. Seriously is that not criminal?!!! And he put his office address there o,lol!

I think City people should start screening some of these adverts they carry in their papers cos they are kinda encouraging these people to carry on their nefarious activities.

Na God go save us for this Obodo Nigeria!

Abeg let me go and face more serious issues jare but before i go, i'll leave you with 12 reasons why chocolate is better than sex,lol!

12 Reasons Why CHOCOLATE is Better Than SEX!


1. You can have chocolate in front of your parents.

2. Nobody starts rumors about who you shared chocolate with.

3. People of the same sex can share chocolate without being called names.

4. The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.

5. Chocolate is satisfying even if it's gone soft.

6. No matter what kind of chocolate you like, it's legal.

7. You can have chocolate with a whole group of friends without being obscene.

8. If you have to pay for your chocolate, it's not too expensive.

9. Chocolate is just as attractive when you're sober.

10. A big piece of chocolate lasts longer, but even a small piece is satisfying.

11. You can have chocolate in the office without upsetting your co-workers.

12. It's easy to GET chocolate any time you want!!!

So guys you know how it is now, do more choc and less sex, okay?lol!

PLEASE GUYS, HELP A SISTER WITH SOME GOOD ADVICE HERE.
THANKS.

51 comments:

Naija Idol said...

1st???

Naija Idol said...

1st???

Naija Idol said...

1st???

30+ said...

2nd

princesa said...

@naija idol, where did ya come from girl???
and yes u are first!

princesa said...

@30+,narrowly,lol!

30+ said...

I love those 12 reasons for chocolate.

Sadly people will still go to that Alhaji psteew.

So babes when are you going on holiday all these one that they are always working you hard.

Naija Idol said...

Chai! make una nor mind me. My ISP was messing up and i was so determined to be first so i kept resending. My mum buys city people a lot. so u one tell me say u never see the advert for magic biro to pass exams, spiritual handkerchief, touch and follow and all.

chai. c reasons y choc is better than sex oo.

[-V-] said...

i love chocolate more than anything...and that's the reason that i am still a virgin.. :D :D !

princesa said...

@30+, my dear, i need that vacation badly o. Hopefully soon sha.

@naijaidol, lol! We no mind u jare. I have seen the magic biro and spiritual hanky adverts too, na wa for wa!

@(-v-), oh yea? You sure of that?? Can we check?lol!

[-V-] said...

oie..tell me how can we?? ;) :D

Jinta said...

lemme go buy the herbs and elongate my penis to 15"

fantasy queen said...

i see the work bugs bitten lotsf us eh?

prisca when last did u see me? you wouldnt recognize me anymore, i'm almost as tall as agbani. thanks to city people, i've left 5'4 behind for good.lol

fantasy queen said...

chocolates....uhmmmm!

Jayjazzy said...

Girl, u re not the only one who notices those crazy ad s in City people. So in my office one day we were having fun and we decided to call one woman who advertised and said her name was Iya Baruba.

Well the chic who called told the woman that her boyfriend was stingy and she wanted something to make the guy bend to all her demands. the woman quickly said that the gal should come down to her office in Opebi.

my galfriend asked how much it would cost but the Iya said she should come down first. It was hilarious and the poor woman was on speaker. She realised and hung up. scamming people.. And the chocolate hmmmm.....

Have to stay away from it... and yes princesa quick favour could u help me draw traffic to my blog. am lost and ned advice. thanks

Afrobabe said...

My dear one alfan gave me card at the bus stop here in London oh…the thing said, this is the end of all your problems…no man shall see you and leave you.They will leave their wives…come to Afan seun today!!!
See the way one oyibo woman dey look the paper like it was her dream come true…I just dey pity am…

as for that tallness herbs abeg anyone that tries it should tell me oh..I have missed many husbands cos of their height...

LG said...

@jinta, i don dey suspect say ur 'kini' ... erm.... coughs,
goodluck to u sha, lolllll

prisco, nor blame 'chief oluwo' jare blame 'ciry pple' instead, dem nor dey 'reject' advert n how r u sure they didnt write dat 'copy' for chief *hiss*
as per the chocolate thingy... u r on ur own , cos i say YES to more --- , lolllll


werrin dey?

Jaguda said...

naija idol na wa oooo. ahn ahn, lol. agreed u are first.to add to this i heard an old tale that real jazz men who are able to do money rituals HAVE to take a vow of penury to be able to do this. they can only accept gifts and WILL never be rich. it makes sense to me. why should they charge money to make others rich when they can do it themselves?

OluwaDee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mz. Dee said...

Lmao.. ive seen those advertz. the one dat made me laff was "Cure for Homoseshality" Lolz!

Chocolate thing.. so true!! make i go chop my twix sef.

OluwaDee said...

More choc n less sex ke; joker!!

"Grow taller herbs". Lol!!!

"To separate your sugar daddies from their wives" - Chief olowu get liver no b small.

Some bolo's will still call d guy n buy d herbs.

AlooFar said...

Chari wetin dey happen?

Obi said...

LMAO..babes..abeg no make me laugh die for here o...I see those ads too and I'm like..good luck to who ever tries that...I actually had a practising babalawo as a room-mate once in college..and he used to prepare all kinds of s*@t for people...
But seriously, those dick enlargement things don tire me...I get dozens of spam everyday asking me to buy penis enlargement drugs...SOMEONE must be spreading lies about me around..lol..
And I noticed it's usually ladies that do the "chocolate is better than sex" thing...HABA..no need to knock it if you're not getting any abeg..!!! I'm yet to meet a woman who, when she's horny, says to her man "Dont bother dearie, I think I'll just take 3 mars bars a toblerone to bed tonite"...hiiisss!!

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

chokolat is only better than sex if it has nuts in it.

those adverts are dodgy as hell

webround said...

there are herbs for almost everything today..

BBC reports that "a national dance craze in Ivory Coast has spawned a black market for herbs to increase bum size" see article here

Beyond said...

some folks will still fall those silly adverts anyway....i guess you don't know any better, you never question the idea

princesa said...

@(-v-), lol! just kidding.
@jinta, ha hahaha, please do but make you bury the person wey u kill o,lol!
@FT, for real? Now there is nothing stopping you from contesting Miss world abi? I should be your manager, think about it,lol!
@jay,lol! The things people do. I have put up a link on this post to urs dear. Don’t worry, be happy!
@afrobabe,lol! Yeye alfa, what makes him think that you want to marry second-hand husband? lol@u missing husband cos of height, them never serious jare,lol!
@lg, suspect jinta’s kini ke?? Abeg o I no dey house,lol! U get point o, e fit be the City people dem dey write the advert sef. Yes to more what?? Bad girl!
@jaguda, hmmm, from where u hear that one? Well, it explains a lot of things sha.
@mz.dee, cure for homosheshality ke?!! Chineke!!! God no go let me miss road go see that kain person,lol! So u agree choc is better than sex?
@oluwadee, I see u love that thing pass choc no be small, lol! Well u are allowed cos urs is legal,lol!
@aloofar, abeg help me ask am o
@obi, lol! I think someone has definitely been spreading some lies about you, lol! maybe you should take them up on that 15” offer,lol! You are yet to meet such a woman? Okay here she is…ME!!!
@zephi, so nuts make the difference eh?
@webround, indeed there are.
@beyond, of cos they will!

princesa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Duchess said...

grow taller herbs......its takes only a stupid gullible person to fall for that one now.

Am so happy for 9ice & Tonipayne

[-V-] said...

me too lol :D

doll said...

wetin concern agbero with overload??? as long as city people are getting their money from the adverts....am sure they dont really care if its credible.....Caveat emptor! (buyer beware) so any buyer that feels his penis is too short or her breasts are too small......

P.s sex is better than chocolate

Flowers and Poetry said...

LOL! "...shorter than my grandmother's kitchen stool" HILARIOUS!!

the genius within said...

City people is always filled with trash but it seems there is a market out there for such a publication or they wouldn't be in business.

Fine with the chocolate thingy, but then women don't get pregnant from eating chocolate, so sex still wins all the time.

Have a good weekend..

Dammy said...

Draw Traffic to your blog herb!!!

Chief Damilicious is the answer to drawing traffic to your blog!!!

Get 2 million comments on your blog within 24 hours!!!

Hurry while offer last!!!

Contact address : www.truthinprint.blogspot.com

Lol!

Btw: How do I get this published on City people Magazine since they are reowned for publishing silly ads?

May God help us!

How you dey?

Writefreak said...

Someone needs to talk to City People about their adverts..what kind of rubbish is that? I sometimes see them but this one beats all the ones i've read, how to make sugar daddies ditch their wives! Haba!
Hmm i don't know about chocolate being better than sex o!

Writefreak said...

Someone needs to talk to City People about their adverts..what kind of rubbish is that? I sometimes see them but this one beats all the ones i've read, how to make sugar daddies ditch their wives! Haba!
Hmm i don't know about chocolate being better than sex o!

Carlang said...

Please don't encourage me.
I've finally lost my excess 6kg and now you're telling me Chocolate are better than sex?

How can you even suggest that?
Someone is not doing something right.

Carlang said...

Please don't encourage me.
I've finally lost my excess 6kg and now you're telling me Chocolate are better than sex?

How can you even suggest that?
Someone is not doing something right.
lol

princesa said...

@duchess, abi o
@(-v-), okay dude.
@doll, they shoul care o, its all about being socially responsible!
@flowers & peotry, glad u found that hilarious.
@genius, yes o, a HUGE market at that!
@dammy, ROTFLMAO!!!!'
Thanks for making me laugh hard this afternoon. I dey fine jare.
@writefreak,na real Haba! them no dey fear face sef. Which one is you dont know babes? U berra know o!
@carlang,lol! Its not choc but coke that will give you the extra pounds dude! Who is someone?lol!

teediva said...

lol. i was thinking the same thing about city ppl the other day, i sw that same advert. like, stupid. been a while jare, no mind me i've been lazy.

diary of a G said...

YES choc can be a have code word for sex. like did you hear Charizard and that other blogger were caught having chocolate together?lol

Obi said...

Madam Princesa..you no well o...I'm sure you dont love chocolate THAT much..and wetin I wan carry 15 inches do..abeg..??
Like my physics teacher used to say in high school.."it's not the wavelength that matters, but the frequency"

Abbie said...

lol @ Chief Olowu separating spouses. He seriously has some guts o.

[-V-] said...

no updates??? where are you??

princesa said...

@teediva,lazy lazy, go updatey,lol!
@DOG, lol! But I mean the real choc,silly!
@obi, ur physics teacher was a wise man
@abbies, some mean guts o
@(-v-), sorry been up my neck in work!

Standtall said...

The ode to your eyes is fantastic!!!

Naija Sutra said...

Nice, Nice

Queen of My Castle said...

LMAO @ The Chocolate bit

Queen of My Castle said...

Oh, but I still think I would prefer sex over chocolate any day. LOL

Buttercup said...

lollll..i enjoyed this post!

lol @ the reasons y chocs r better han sex..

i gats to agree wit queen of my castle tho!

pamela said...

LMAO at Chief Oluwo!!!!!!

:D

Rolling on the floor with laughter!