Thursday, February 7, 2008

ORAL PALAVA!


I heard something yesterday that I found very amusing and surprising and I thought to share it with you guys.

Okay this is how it happened.

I, some colleagues of mine and some clients were conducting restaurant visits yesterday. It was part of our consumer insight drive for one of our brands.
So we had gone to this particular restaurant (Good food restaurant) to talk with the owner (a young woman)..
During our discussion with the woman, I noticed this particular guy that kept staring at me. He was also having lunch. It didn’t bother me much cos I was used to such stares so I just ignored him.
The overpowering food aroma in the air was also very irresistible and we were very hungry having been working all morning so we decided to have lunch at the place. However since we still had one more restaurant to cover, we decided to conclude that visit and return to Good food restaurant for lunch

So Soon after…our restaurant rounds completed, we returned to Good food restaurant and settled down to steaming bowls of Semolina and Bitter leaf soup.
While waiting for the bill, the owner of the restaurant came up to our table and asked if I could spare a few minutes cos she wanted to talk to me. I said okay and went with her to a corner to hear what she had to say.
She told me that that guy I noticed when we had come earlier had asked her to find out if I was married cos he was interested in me and he also requested her to get my number so he could contact me. I found it funny and told her so. I also mentioned to her that the man looked obviously married and I wasn’t interested in married men. She went on to tell me that she knew him quite well and he wasn’t married and infact he was actually supposed to have gotten married last year but the marriage didn’t work out between him and the girl. I didn’t want to ask for details but she went on to give me the whole gist.

So it turns out that this guy and this babe were supposed to get married last Christmas. Invitation cards had been printed. Aso-ebi(Wedding uniform) had been bought and all.
Suddenly the babe calls off the wedding just few weeks to the D-day.
What was her reason?
Our guy refuse to go down on her! LOl!!!
I hope you understood that my peeps.
Okay you know cunninglingus…oral sex?? Ehen! That’s what I mean,lol!
Our guy thought it was irritating (??)and even though our babe wanted it, he would not do it!
I mean how do you expect a respectable BIG boy like him to eat ur ‘thing’ wit his very pure clean mouth?!?! IRRITATING….DIRTY!!!!
My people na so I just open mouth dey look the woman. I was shocked! In this age and time of sexual liberation…someone would actually be thinking like that…na wa for wa o!
Suddenly I bursted out laughing. The poor woman couldn’t understand why.
It was so funny to me abeg. And this was a guy that was interested in me??? Tufiakwa!

After I left the restaurant, I couldn’t stop thinking about the whole thing.
For a girl to have called off her wedding cos of that, then it must have meant a whole lot to her and if her man really loved her, he should have been able to compromise on his standards of what is dirty and what is not abi? Now these questions arise…

CAN ANYTHING BE DIRTY DURING SEX? If so…

WHERE DOES ‘DIRTY’ START AND END DURING SEX??

IF HE COULDN’T GIVE HER ORAL, THEN DID HE REALLY LOVE HER???

IF GOING DOWN ON YOUR WOMAN IS DIRTY/IRRITATING THEN HOW COME DOING THE ‘DO’ SUDDENLY IS NOT IRRITATING????

WHICH MAN DOES NOT LIKE BEING GIVEN A ‘HEAD’????? Guys tell me!

Anyway am sure our guy wouldn’t have thought it irritating/dirty for the babe to go down on him. Am very sure about that!

Double standards even during love making….Nonsense!

59 comments:

fantasy queen said...

1st...i love u

fantasy queen said...

2nd...u're such sweetie!

princesa said...

@fantasy queen, lol!
I see you are deliriously happy.
Take ur first prize jare!lol!

fantasy queen said...

this is so cool, 3rd yaaay.
ok, now i'm going to read

fantasy queen said...

omg, thats 4th?..well its still something, definately goin to read now.

Today's ranting said...

Wow so funny.Probably there is more to this "oral sex thingy".I don't want to believe the gal called off the wedding just because of that and if she truly did on that ground, then i would say hmmmmmmmm.

fantasy queen said...

ha...not all men love sushi.lol
its a case of do me i do u jare...most men know that by now.

onydchic said...

I think the 'ah ah' i said when I read the girl's reason was quite loud. Its a bit out there.

Frankly I don't see why the guy couldn't do it. In fact I dont c why guys say they can't do it. Yt they always want the girl to do it for them, if they don't, she's 'a prude'. Hm.There's a saying: You scratch my back...

NikkiSab said...

i dont see anytin wrong with him no wanting do it. I feel every1 has rights to say YES or NO. I av a friend who wont go down on women cos d 1st time he looked at a woman's in btwn d tot dat came to his head was a sore wound(HIS WORDS). Now if some1 has dat kind of vivid imagination. If he not give den baby has got rights not to give him too. Can we judge d quantity of love to d giving or non giving of head (dis is hilarious but it happens). D tin must mean d world to dat yang lady to call off d wedding. well na she know where e de pinch am.
Anal is a no go area. no matter how liberating n fun sex can be or is - I can NOT engage in dat. Dat is a limit.[DESE R MY TOTS, any space for odas to write? lol}

Isi said...

sex gets dirty when one party isnt interetsed in whats going down...then it needs to stop!

how u dey my babes?!

Naija Chickito said...

lmoa! can't stop laughing!

caramel said...

lmaooooooooooooooooooooo..na wah oo

Simi Speaks said...

hehehehehee. foolish man. hissssssss

Queen of My Castle said...

Ay, Princesa, those pics are just too hilarious. Classic. As for the post at hand, well,this one is a tough call. I operate under the law of reciprocity, but some just aren't into that thing, and I have yet to meet a man that doesn't prefer a woman with a vicious head game.

Aspiring nigerian woman said...

this story is so funny. Crazy double standard. na only naija man go won take, but no give.

I swear, I know a family of 3 boys and they all love giving head to their girls and guess what? they are all naija men. Their friends (other naija guys) think it is crazy, 'cos they don't like giving.

Naija chic said...

Na wah oh, Ist I like the picture up there.
2nd, the law of reciprocity gas to operate.If he doesn't like to do it, no worries as long as he is not fussy about 'heading' it!

As per the babe and breaking up, I think there is moore to it than this or they did not discuss all these issues before they decided to print IVs and order Aso Ebi????

La Reine said...

LOL! I had to read this outload to a friend of mine.

Man, you'd think you'd TALK about such things and more to the person you're planning to marry.

darkelcee said...

lol....crazy picture.

where did you get that ?

Too funny!

Omosewa said...

Buhahahahahahahaah the bobo will never find wife o, why did he tell people the reason?? Choi...

Anywhooo,im not sure thats enough reason to call off a wedding, as in, they could have gone to sex therapists(do we have those in Naija?) but hey nah the babe know wetin she see...

Toooo funny...why the toothbrushes? As per its not a big deal? One brushing session and mouthwash after makes everything normal again?:D

Not that i'll know anything about that *angel*

Rayo said...

LMAO! I would've broken it off too..which kain nonsense be dat?

So she can go down on you but you can't reciprocate? Hell no!

Arewa said...

OMG...I cant believe this they both have issues what is dirty about oral sex...and what planet does the guy live on.....and as for this girl what happened to compromising....will she die from not having her pussy munched...lol
There has to be more to the chic calling off the wedding.

desperate lady said...

I really don't think that's the reason she called off the wedding...think about it for a moment. Didnt she know about his refusal to give head before they fixed a date for the wedding?
I think the owner of the restaurant was just doing amigbo abeg.
And if she was saying the truth then the guy is very clueless, does he think this is the 1960's......mshteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww.

bumight said...

lol, the babe was being real though, if it was that important to her, then I guess she was right in calling of the wedding, hehehe
1. Anal sex is dirty!!!
2. the fact that he couldn't give her oral is not a measure of how much he loves her
3. I know shey
4. I'll like to find out

30+ said...

I am no 24 ke na wa o well with fantasy queen as 1-4 what chance do I have lol

30+ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
30+ said...

I am no 24 ke na wa o well with fantasy queen as 1-4 what chance do I have lol

diary of a G said...

first off let me say A BIG YES! AM SO GLAD P did a post regarding this issue cos i've been dying to know who n who does what n what in blogville..lol...ama read everybodies comments then comment thereafter..this should be interesting..thanks P

diary of a G said...

str8 up!
am prolly the only one who feels the female in this story

cos If thats the person am a be with forever ever ever ever....

gurrrrrllll you better know you gotta gimme some head

P! dirty starts..well have you seen
2 girls and 1 cup?.now thats dirty

I haven't seen the point in anal sex and I hope I don't ever do
but if thats what (people) do then...I aint mad at em...

I think he did love her tho

about your last question
let me sing a song for you P

excuse me Miss,
you've been mislead
I don't know what you heard
or what they said
I don't take every girl
str8 to ma bed

I tell em gimme some head
girl gimme some head

*repeat*


lol

Ejura said...

Hi gurl!

Now I'd never look at a tooth brush in the same way again. I'd also never leave my tooth brush in the bathroom with other toothbrushes again. Where in heaven's name did you get that pic from!

Are you into marketing research? What you do sounds a lot like what i do. I mean the consumer insight thingy.

You've got to be pretty hot for a man to want to marry you and even use a restaurant owner to get your info.Some ladies can stand nude infront of Transcorp and no one gives them a second glance.Not even the gate man.

No comment on the oral sex thingy. One thing I do know is that to each man his food. And if he finds someone else who loves his food the way he loves it then they should eat together and live in peace.

That tooth brush picture na wah oh!The things people think up!
Have a great weekend!

Nyemoni said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha........Biko....allow me laff to my hearts content! ROTFLMHO! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I think that everyone has a right to his or her own opinion, one man's meat is another's poison as they say! That said, I'm wondering how it came about that the whole 'wanine' (sp) heard the reason for her calling off the wedding...and why o why! did she wait until the last days to call it off? and the guy sef no waste time o! Barely a month after the calling off, he's started scoping babes...well I wouldn't blame him too much...seing princesa's looks and all....lol!

Mommy said...

*O Lord please let this comment be posted* Amen!!

Let me first of all let you know that I have been here like forever (trying since yesterday). Posting a comment has been utterly impossible (Don't know wats going on) hence the prayer up there. So if I send this and it doesn't post i'mma gonna give up...naaaa...I never give up...i'mma gonna keep trying. :o)

I was saying...as soon as I saw the tooth brushes and the position they were laid, I just knew it wasn't about your cavity lol...I won't be surprised if the guy heard your sweet voice before he noticed your great looks ;0)...too bad...it's so obvious...nothing for him... hahahahahahaha....

Great weekend babes!

princesa said...

Wow…so many comments…where do I start?!
Okay first I have to thank you all for dropping by and leaving comments….Mwuahss!
@today’s ranting…I guess it was very important to her if that was the case. However I still think there is more to the story.

@Fantasy queen, lol! Do me… I do you abi? That’s fair enough abeg.

@onydchic, I agree wit you…any guy that cant do wont get…finito!

@nikkisab,lol@ur friend thinking it looked like a sore wound. Bet he doesn’t have any qualms with putting his ‘thing’ inside the sore wound.

@isi, I think there should be some form of compromise as long as it isn’t anything weird on risky. I dey my sis…how body?

@naija chickito, glad u found it funny…oya u can stop now.

@caramel, na wa for wa o!

@simi, lol! Foolish man??

@castle queen, lol@ vicious head game. Where are all the guys??? Oya come speak for urselves o! I agree with that principle of reciprocity babes.

@aspiring,lol! They must be really gifted in giving heads. So babes how do u know this sef?*wink*

@naija chic, thanks babe. I bow for them sha. They still had unresolved issues yet went ahead to order aso-ebi and print IVs.

@la reine, I don’t know why couples find it hard to discuss these things. Sex is very important in a marriage.

@darkel, lol! I agree it’s a crazy pic. I found it somewhere….somewhere…..lol!

@omosewa, lol! According to the restaurant woman its public knowledge o! Did u see the positions of those toothbrushes? Some people are just plain jobless…kai!lol!

@rayo, hell no too!

@arewa, lol @ her dying from not having her pussy munched! Maybe she go die o…who knows,lol!

@DL, that ur mshteeeeeeeeeee long o! I agree there must be more to what transpired btw them.

@bumight abi o! So she doesn’t go looking for someone to munch her thing after marriage. That would be worse that calling off the wedding abi?

@30+, No. 24 aint that bad. I’ve come worse at urs
Anyway u didn’t talk about the post or you no want put mouth??

@DOG, lol dude! Ok I dedicate this post to you bro! 2 girls and 1 cup?? I havnt seen that. It sounds like porn tho. Thanks for the song…crazy guy!

@ejura, lol@ not leaving ur toothbrush with other tooth brushes! I am into advertising…sometimes we conduct marketing researches to give us an idea of what consumers are asking for. Other times we hire peeps like you,lol! Me hot?? Maybe..lol!

@nyemoni,lol! Laugh on jare. Me sef I had to laugh when I heard it. The guy must scope na…abi him no go marry again?? lol!

@mommy, lol! Thank God it posted o! I know exactly what you mean, some times blogger can be very frustrating. Great weekend to u too.

lindwee said...

Is she going to feed her future husband with only dat?

bumight said...

as per ur convo with DOG, true that, u need to see two girls and 1 cup, its not porn, its just DIRTY! i did a post on it not too long ago

Afrobabe said...

fantasy queen has become a stalker!!!

Ok babes, first of all...from the tone of the post..u like the thing..lmao..ok..ok..no kill me!!

why would it mean so much to her that she would call off a whole wedding..what if her next fiance likes eating but doesn't know how to hammer and the one after that doesn't know any...

she better settle for a good man wheather he eats or not oh...

Afrobabe said...

As far as I am concerned it is do me I do u oh...no long story!!!

Pink-satin said...

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ROTL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

simplynuttie said...

Princesa, thanks for the love...i really appreciate.

You wrote something about the guy wanting to date you when he couldnt go down on his supposedly ex-fiancee.....does it mean you aint rolling with no man who isnt gonna go down on you?

Its just a thought o.... (grinning)

Ubong Da said...

Anal is dirty.

little miss me said...

i think everyone has their different standards, which is why you need to settle with someone sexually compatible with you and be open and communicate about what your turn-ons and turn-offs are, the babe should have taken all that into consideration before saying yes even to his proposal,why did she now wait till last minute..
lol i hope the dude sha finds some babe out there that doesnt like her some gud ol head!! if not...

NIGERIA POLITRICKS said...

Princesa, u dey sabi yarn dust, haha!!
2 much info(TMI) from the restaurant lady there!...she was supposedly 'toasting' u for the poor dude, but at d same time spilling all his durty secrets...what if d man no wan eat kushy, na by force. not all punani r edible, so maybe dat was his reason... she's trading off wedding 4 a head? damn!
I'm sure she must be a good 'head'mistress...bcos dis one don pass becareful!

phalumptous said...

don't want no man who ain't gonna go down on me......hell naw!!!!!!!! you think i love to have that large and long rod shoved down my throat with you pushing my head or rather thrusting deep down my throat and wif your hand ur hold my head put so that you can thrust even deeper so hard i can't even breathe? hell naw man hell naw!!!!

you better get down on your knees and eat her majesty's p***Y good!!!! hell you scratch my back i do same. am not about to give you a triple "A" brain popping and knee wobbling head with out you eating my awaiting p***y? not gonna happen that's the shit right there!!!! the's no fucking or is it love making withing you eating thing is if you ain't eating you sure ain't hitting the spot.

it's the shit o!!!! am proud of what i have down there and very crazy wif my boo only o!!!! for example i could just sit my p***y on his face and stuff. am not saying thats the only way i enjoy sex but it's just MUST be part of it o!!!! t's like cooking food without salt or water. hell naw!!!!

so noone should say the lady over reacted becuz imagine if the guy is too religious when having sex. what if he sees explorations and adventures as a no go? no 69,no toe licking,no ass lickingno having G strings when married,LMAO!!!! i know it sounds crazy but trust me you will be amazed.

guerreiranigeriana said...

lol @ the pics!!!....hahaha..i can only imagine what the topic is...kai, and i am number 43 just like that....na wa...going to read...

Olamild said...

I believe I have made a comment on this post but I'll answer the questions since u have chosen not to update o...

CAN ANYTHING BE DIRTY DURING SEX? If so… uhmmm uhmmm

WHERE DOES ‘DIRTY’ START AND END DURING SEX??

DIrty is when you start going down and acting like your life depended on it. Dirty is when u start using profane words during the activity.. It's dirty but fun for some i guess.

IF HE COULDN’T GIVE HER ORAL, THEN DID HE REALLY LOVE HER???

Not giving someone a BJ does not mean you dont love the person

IF GOING DOWN ON YOUR WOMAN IS DIRTY/IRRITATING THEN HOW COME DOING THE ‘DO’ SUDDENLY IS NOT IRRITATING????

Expantiate lol

WHICH MAN DOES NOT LIKE BEING GIVEN A ‘HEAD’?????

None that i know of

guerreiranigeriana said...

wow!!....what a post!!!...lol @ diary of a g and phalumptous...was the restaurant owner really trying to help or just cock-blocking?....

...in response to your questions:
CAN ANYTHING BE DIRTY DURING SEX? If so…
...isi said it well...it becomes dirty/inappropriate/unacceptable when the other person is no longer interested in the experimentation...it varies by person...

WHERE DOES ‘DIRTY’ START AND END DURING SEX??
...it depends on the two individuals involved...

IF HE COULDN’T GIVE HER ORAL, THEN DID HE REALLY LOVE HER???
...i don't think giving of oral sex is a really good measure of love...if i don't indulge you in anal sex because i don't care for it, it does not mean i do not love you...would we also ask if she truly loved him because she asked him to give when she knew he didn't like to?...

IF GOING DOWN ON YOUR WOMAN IS DIRTY/IRRITATING THEN HOW COME DOING THE ‘DO’ SUDDENLY IS NOT IRRITATING????
...oral sex is hella intimate!!...i think sometimes moreso than sex sef, in a different way...it is much easier to have sex with someone than oral sex...


WHICH MAN DOES NOT LIKE BEING GIVEN A ‘HEAD’?????
...dunno of any...

phalumptous said...

yawl are getting this so so wrong. anal sex is just another chapter, what i mean is it's another hole and a no go for me.
we asking you ta eat where u screw. eat before or after digging don't matter just eat!!!! it's not a shit hole thing becuz anal and p***y eating is so very different.

shit hole is for shitting and p***y hole for you is to dig and eat.
though av neva tried anal but "the hard and dem big rocks" raining down(imagine the pain you would feel is dat same size of roddy was to go in?)from there gives enuf pain already so thanks that will do.
at least all the lady wanted was 4u ta eat not dis http://claudi-osi.blogspot.com/

princesa said...

@lindwee,lol! Probably.
@bumight,hmmm…dirty?? Might google it.
@afro,lol! I like the thing…no lie abegi!lol! I feel you babes, I even think she could have gotten the guy to do it if she went about it properly.
@pink-satin, na laugh be dat??lol!
@simply, long time babe! To answer ur question, if you cant give, then you don’t get,lol!
@ubongda, lol! Na u be dis??
@lil’ miss me, sexual compatibility...thats the word!
@Nigeria politricks, lol! Me dey yarn dust abi?? But u like dust sha,lol!
BTW wetin you mean by “not all punani r edible”?? I hope you go agree say not all dicks are suckable too o! lol@headmistress. Kai…bad mouth guy!
@phalumptous,LMAO! Babe the thing vex you no be small o! I agree wit you jare…its got to be fair on both partners!
@G.nigeriana, lol! I like ur answers babe.
@olamild, thanks dear for coming back to say more. I feel oral sex isn’t dirty tho.
@phalumptous, I checked out that site babe. Na wa for some peeps sha. Shitting/peeing on someone…what pleasure is there in that??

Miss Maple said...

Update! Update!!

well, everyone's said it all!
so u might as well... UPDATE!!!!!!

Kpakpando said...

If getting eaten out is your thing and the man you're with refuses to do so, then it is grounds to break up. Sex isn't everything in a relationship, but lack of sexual satisfaction leads to bigger problems in a relationship o. Personally I'm not that into getting eaten out, few men know how to do it right and I personally don't enjoy being a guinea pig, luckily I get off on other things and cunnilingus ranks pretty low on my list. To answer your ?'s


CAN ANYTHING BE DIRTY DURING SEX?

Yes, a couple of things can be, but you know your limits and those of your partner and work within those limits.

WHERE DOES ?DIRTY? START AND END DURING SEX??

I've been told I'm extremely open minded when it comes to sex, so dirty for me is very different from anyone else's.


IF HE COULDN?T GIVE HER ORAL, THEN DID HE REALLY LOVE HER???
If he refused to give her oral after she's explained to him that she enjoys the activity and its essential for her mutual enjoyment of sex, then I would also doubt his ability to love her if he's being that selfish.


IF GOING DOWN ON YOUR WOMAN IS DIRTY/IRRITATING THEN HOW COME DOING THE ?DO? SUDDENLY IS NOT IRRITATING????

Help me ask am o!

WHICH MAN DOES NOT LIKE BEING GIVEN A ?HEAD??????

I know a couple of men, who say they don't like receiving head, but then I tell them the right girl hasn't sucked your dick yet.

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

ahem!
so we can infer that princesa loves oral sex and her man MUST know how to go down on her..I said infer oh..lol

anal sex can be dirty.

Sparkle said...

I PLEAD THE FIFTH!

Ms. emmotions said...

oh ! i missed this one, am late yes but i still wan 2 talk ...lol

this is wierd, i mean the gal is wierd for just remembering to do this and the guy has gone loco for his reasons not to..

hi gal, doing gr8 huh?

tobenna said...

I'm late too on this, but what the heck.
First, the toothbrush pictures are absolutely hilarious!
To answer your questions:
CAN ANYTHING BE DIRTY DURING SEX?
Big YES. Google 2 girls 1 cup

WHERE DOES ‘DIRTY’ START AND END DURING SEX??
The line is not clearly defined.

IF HE COULDN’T GIVE HER ORAL, THEN DID HE REALLY LOVE HER???
Yes. He just hasn't overcome the initial fright. Once he does, its plain sailing.

IF GOING DOWN ON YOUR WOMAN IS DIRTY/IRRITATING THEN HOW COME DOING THE ‘DO’ SUDDENLY IS NOT IRRITATING????
Well.... They are kinda different

WHICH MAN DOES NOT LIKE BEING GIVEN A ‘HEAD’?????
Not me nor any man I know.

The thing is, it's daunting at first because it has no effect on you. But then, you realise the mad effect it has on her. Then you can't stop. Please her and she'll please you.
I can't go down on someone I do not love.

Florida of Free Spirit said...

my dear, i went 4 years giving & not receiving, den i learnt too. it's 'do me, i do u' o, nothing less. stupid men, i don't understand all that brain-cracking dy do. nonsense

Chari said...

all because ofu head...nne na wa o!

well I aint gat no problems with givin head so nuin do me...buh am kinda picky bau the people I go down on tho....

rethots said...

noisy silence......

Mr C said...

Hello. Just came across the post from ur comment on verastic.
LOL.

One simple question. All the innuendos using the tooth brushes are clear except one. The one with the toothpaste. Is that meant to be cum?
LOL.

ShonaVixen said...

LOL...i also saw this on Verastic's space...cant help but laugh...dirty??irritating??Brothaman purleez...

AnyaPosh said...

haha...i'm here from vera's too & these comments are too funny. First off, oral sex is such a small portion of a couples life in the bedroom so it can't be the sole reason they didn't get married. In my mind there has to be something more that happened or didn't happen btwn them for them to call it off.

I like my men to be adventurous in bed, no timidity! Like a lot of y'all said, it's do me I do you. Nothing extra...life is all about reciprocity, abi?! LOL

By the way... as i dey so, if i was a mani wouldn't give another woman head o. I know there's hypocrisy in that comment but seriously...women bleed from that place....kai.