Taking Control.

A post i read on uzo's blog inspired me to put this up. Its a real life story by Lisa Delaney,the author of the book-'Secrets of a former fat girl'. The book is all about her journey from self-loathing to self-confidence. Twenty years ago, Lisa Delaney was overweight and fed up with diets, working at a job she found boring and disappointed by her love life. Over a late night binge, she had an epiphany about getting fit, taking charge of her life and getting out of her comfort zone. Here is her epiphany, excerpted from her book. Enjoy.

After living the first twenty-five years or so of my life with the label Fat Girl, my weight peaked at around 185. I'm just under five feet four, so let's just say I didn't carry it well. It was back in the day when designer jeans had just come on the scene: Everybody, including me, wanted to get into some Calvins or Jordache or the cigarette-leg Guess Jeans that were so impossibly tight they had zippers on the ankles so you could shimmy them over your feet. I was aching to trade in the double-pleated khakis that, rather than hiding my stomach and hips, made me look even more like one of Willy Wonka's Oompah Loompahs. I held on to that hope, only to find that even the largest size of Calvins (size 16) was too small for my ample butt.

By the time I had suffered so many defeats that I began to wonder why I dared to try anymore. Why take the jeans into the dressing room at all? I'd only end up back at the rack of "comfort-waist," "relaxed-fit" pants. Why pull out the dumbbell set collecting dust in the back of the closet? It would only remind me how physically and mentally weak I was as it sat there unused again. Why pass up my favorite bacon cheeseburger for a scantily dressed salad? The calories I'd save wouldn't make a dent in my weight. It was as if I was trying to chip away at the U.S. deficit, one ten-cents-off coupon at a time.

I had so much to lose — and I'm not just talking about the weight. I stood to lose the life I knew, a life I wasn't happy in, but one that was safe and comfortable. And yet I hated it. I hate always being the good girl, the giver, the one everyone could count on to pick up the slack, to get things done, but who was somehow invisible. I hated how I constantly ignored my own needs and my own dreams, focusing instead on pleasing everyone around me, like a panting puppy just aching for a pat on the head. At the same time I was too afraid to let this life go. Deep down I knew that if I truly committed to changing, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. My legs were too heavy with fear to take the first step off that solid familiar platform onto the rickety makeshift bridge of "what if." I was afraid it would buckle under my weight, and I'd go crashing through to the hard ground beneath, unable to get back up again. But I was just afraid I would manage to teeter and tiptoe to the other side — because I didn't know what awaited me there. For all my daydreaming, I simply couldn't imagine who I would be if I wasn't a Fat Girl anymore.

But one day something happened that made me want to find out.

The whole thing started off with a gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream. I polished off the last third of the container, which I'd opened only the night before, straight from the carton.
As I shoveled the last of the ice cream into my mouth, though, my body decided it had had enough. A wave of nausea hit me, and I scrambled for the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet. At one point, mid-retch, I caught sight of myself in the mirror: bloated, pale, weak. Finally, I saw myself as I really was: powerless, full of shame, out of control, a victim of my appetite. And I vowed to do something about it.
I didn't quite believe that I could, but the reality of what I saw in the mirror that day gave me the strength to commit to trying. And that was the beginning of a journey that over the next three to five years revealed to me the body I was meant to have, and helped me discover the person I was meant to be.

Through lots of trial and lots of error, I finally managed to get my weight down to somewhere around 117, where I've kept it for the last twenty years or so. Along the way I reclaimed, rediscovered, and revealed the powerful, confident woman I am inside.
I was able to do what the so-called experts say is nearly impossible — what you no doubt think is impossible. I've been there. I know how it is to hear those success stories and think, "Good for you, girl. But I'm different. Just because you did it doesn't mean I can."
That's the way I used to think — that I was destined to be a Fat Girl, that I was "big boned." I thought the girls I saw in the "before" and "after" shots were either fakes or had some kind of special willpower gene I wasn't born with.

But I'm no fake, no genetic mutant, and I'm not all that special, either. I just happened to stumble upon the solutions I needed as someone whose very identity was wrapped up in being a Fat Girl — someone whose specific needs weren't being addressed by the big-shot best seller diet gurus out there. While they were yammering about the details such as how many carbs are too many carbs, whether dairy puts pounds on or takes them off, or which is better, low fat or low cal, they were completely ignoring the real issue. The real issue was not "How do I lose weight?" It was "How do I begin to think about myself as someone who can lose weight?"

Through my experience I'm convinced that being a Former Fat Girl is more about changing how you think about yourself and how you carry yourself in the world than the diet plan you're on or whose workout you follow. And that has implications far beyond the size of jeans you wear. It means that you are building the confidence that will allow you to be a success story in every aspect of your life, not just on the scale.
The measure of a Former Fat Girl isn't how many pounds you've lost, it's how you go for what you want in your life — how you take risks, speak up, and don't let fear or doubt rule you. It's how you walk through life with your chin up; how you look people in the eye when you speak.

The shift from wannabe Former Fat Girl to actual Former Fat Girl is about changing your life from the inside out, about going from seeing yourself as a victim of schoolyard nicknames and plus-size labels to a confident, secure, self-celebrating — and, yes, self-accepting — woman. It is about coming out of hiding and shedding the layers, both literally and figuratively, that prevent you from getting what you want out of life. Most of all, it is about identifying the obstacles in your way and finally having the support and resources to make the transition once and for all.

Lisa Delaney is an award-winning magazine writer and editor and is currently special prjects director at Health magazine. She has written for Prevention, Vogue, Men's Health, Men's Journal and Reader's Digest.

ANOTHER CORPSE ON THE HIGHWAY!

I don’t intend to depress anyone with this post cos I know that issues that border on death or corpse are usually very sensitive for most people(me inclusive) so please accept my apologies if it upsets you or anything of the sort. I just had to put this down since it’s been bothering me all morning, I guessed I would feel a lot better if I did.

This morning as i was driving to work, I saw yet another battered corpse on the highway. The corpse was badly mutilated, body parts were scattered all over the place. I was only able to recognize what looked like an arm before I sped past so I didn’t know if it was a man or woman. Now, this is the third corpse I would be seeing on this same expressway in just one month and as usually happens when i see them, I get depressed immediately and my mind starts pondering several things.

One thing that comes to mind at such times as this is the realization that life is really a gift and for everyone who is alive, it’s a privilege that we most times don’t appreciate. We tend to dwell on all the wrong things going on in our lives that we often times fail to be grateful for the very fact that we are alive to even have those problems. Many people are not so fortunate therefore for every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day that we are able to breathe, we should all be grateful and remember to say “Thank you God!”

Another thing that I also reflect on is the fact that we expend so much effort on our physical self. We use the best creams/cosmetics, wear the best clothes, bag the highest degree, ride the best cars, make so much money e.t.c but all these really are just nothing (vanity) cos when you die everything simply evaporates like they never were. We tend to neglect the most important thing-Our Soul, which will never die. What happens to that soul when our human bodies are gone is what we really should be concerned about. Think about it!

My ever so restless mind still went on to some other things. Most times when we see corpses like this on the road, our first thought is usually-“Ah! Another accident victim!”. How many of these corpses are really accident victims? No body ever follows up on these cases to find out who these people are and what exactly led to their deaths. In more concerned societies (I don’t think Naija is one), when there are deaths like this, efforts would be made to find out if it was a natural death or homicide. Unfortunately, in this our dear country, if the corpse is even taken off the road that day, it should be grateful cos most times the corpses would lie there for days on end until when the Ministry of environment people will decide to remove it because the stench is getting too much for the people to bear. Sometimes, due to vehicles running over it for days, the corpse would even become unrecognizable manure for the roadside plants. Now just picture this scenario-A man while beating his poor wife realizes she has slumped and is no longer breathing. He knows that it would be disastrous for him if this is found out so he waits till its late in the night, wraps the body up and throwing it into his car trunk zooms off looking for where to hide his crime. Driving along the highway, he suddenly realize he could easily just drop the body on the road and since the highways are usually not well lit(The street lamps don’t work!), an unsuspecting driver could easily just run the corpse over and Wham! There is another ‘accident’ victim. Sounds like a something from a movie right? but sadly it is very possible. So you see how easily these corpses on our highways could easily just be homicide victims whose souls are just screaming out for justice that they will never get.

Enough depressing talk for one day!

New Entrant to Blogville

Hey peeps! i just want to introduce a new entrant to blogville, Manda:http://pourmyheartout-manda.blogspot.com. Please lets all show her some love and drop by her blog ok. Love u all.

Princess.

By force Rest!

I typed this post yesterday but as i was posting it, the office gen decided it was time to 'quench'. I no blame the gen joo, e dey try! morning to evening , every day the gen dey work as the people wey dey hold light (PHCN)no wan release am na. Anyway i will still post it. Here goes:

Hooray! The NLC strike is over!! The three days of ‘By Force Rest’ by the Nigerian Labour Congress has been called off. Nigerians really needed the rest sha as many of us are really stressed out. Who doesn’t know that living in this our dear Naija is a daily struggle- Struggle to eat for the common man, Struggle to get around(transportation), Struggle with the crazy traffic and bad roads, Struggle with PHCN(Former NEPA), Struggle with almost everything!

As people used to struggling, we had to struggle with the government this time for a reversal of VAT to the former 5%, a litre of petrol from N75 to N65 and implementation of the salary increase for Government workers. The struggle which was in the shape of a nationwide strike took off last Wednesday and lasted till Saturday when it was called off by the labour union after they had reached an agreement with the government. The government decided to revert to the old VAT of 5% but fuel pump price was reduced to N70 per litre instead of the initial N65 the people were agitating for but wait for this, a new clause was added: Government will not be increasing fuel pump price for the next 1 year!

Some people are arguing that the NLC strike was unnecessary as government had already made the same concessions by Tuesday (before the strike) but that NLC refused saying it was either they reverted to N65 for a litre of fuel or the strike would go on. Now they had called off the strike and the price is still N70 which is like going back to where we started, abi? All the same, I still think the NLC should be given some kudos, at least they made the government understand that the people were not going to be taken for granted and that the power still belonged to the people(or does it?) and don’t forget the formal agreement signed by the government that they wont be increasing anything during the next 12 months.

Now to the strike proper, I wish Lagos roads would just be the way they were during those 3 days. Kai! The roads were sooo free that a normal 45mins drive could be done in like 15mins or even less. Driving became pleasurable once again (it hasn’t been for me for a while now). The fortunate few who had some fuel from before the strike (like me) and those who could afford the black market price of N300 per litre had a field day on lagos roads. Others who weren’t so fortunate had to stay at home and ‘rest by force’. The banks were not working so every little kobo was cherished like no man’s business; No one knew how long the strike would last. Even the ATMs were all telling the same story-“No money available”.

Anyhow it’s good to be back at work and even though its back to stress too, it’s still better that being idle all day. You know what they say about the idle mind. I don’t want to be no devils workshop. Ooops! I forgot I have a desk full of uncleared work and deadlines to meet, I got to go peeps. See ya soon.

p.s: I have been eating like a glutton this past few days, every morning I wake up and say to my self: “I am starting my Induction diet all over today” but before the end of the day, am back to eating anything in sight. Been a bit depressed lately but that’s not an excuse. I have started my induction diet today again (I just hope eating 3 pieces of plantain this morning wont spoil it), Calabar girl, I can just hear you saying “It will”. Anyway for the rest of the day and the next 13 days, it’s me and protein o! I have lost some weight though but I still wanna lose some more. Cheer me on guys.

FREEDOM.

Wats up my peeps! Hope everyone is doing fine. Ok, today am blogging about something we all love so much- ‘OUR FREEDOM’. The freedom to go where we want, do what we want, say what we want and all is good but funny enough sometimes those things we wish to do may not be the best for us. We may not like it when our parents, our spouse, our siblings or even our friends interfere in certain decisions we make and we feel like they are stifling us with all the meddling. We want to be left to chart our own life’s course. Good enough but we need to remember at such times that the ‘Freedom’ we seek may not be the best for us. I leave you with this poem by Arthur Templin. Enjoy.

Freedom.

Arthur T. Templin

Within a well-made pasture fence

From cool shade of a tree,

Two horses viewed the world outside

And longed to be set free.

They did not realize the fence

Secured their freedom right

To eat, to drink, to rest, to run,

To their young hearts' delight.

With wild abandonment they ran

Into the countryside,

Excited by the strange new sights

The pasture fence denied.

Before the evening sun had set,

Both horses lay stone dead.

The freedom they thought led to joy,

Took life from them instead.

They tried to cross a busy road,

A large truck could not stop;

Its driver saw them side by side

Impact his truck and drop.

Though love for freedom is inborn,

It dare not have free rein.

Unguided freedom always leads

To tragedy and pain.

No freedom can be had for free,

There is a price to pay--

For man it is obeying laws

At work, at home, at play.

True freedom that is ultimate

Is that blest liberty

God offers us through His dear Son

In Christianity.

Charms!

Guys am back! I finally got my internet fixed and am i glad?It sure was hell all those days when i couldnt hook up to blogville and had to make do with the little opportunities i got on my brothers PC. I wasnt even able to vote for my peeps Diary of a G, Sparkle and Everyone loves a Naija girl in the blogville idols contest. Pink-Satin i am waiting for season 2, I may just be a contestant myself(lol), seriously u guys need to hear me sing, i sound like something btw Whitney houston and Mariah Carey(No try me o!).

Now to the title of my post, I want to yarn una one small jist, its about my encounter with one Hausa Aboki a few days back. I was on my way out of Multi-links office (My Internet Service provider) where I had gone to get my internet fixed when this Hausa Aboki approached me. I thought he wanted to beg for alms or something and as I turned to ask him what was wrong with him, the guy just brought out some funny looking drugs that had this lewd images of a couple having sex on the packaging. It turned out he was selling LIBIDO ENHANCING DRUGS. I took one look at what he was holding and told him I wasn’t interested and that such things were meant for men not agile babes like me (abi o!).

The guy no gree hear at all! He just kept on with his sales pitch. I was with a colleague of mine who hails from the north and she started telling him in Hausa that I wasnt interested in buying what he had for sale. As we made to get into the car, the Aboki said: “Ok madam, as you no wan buy this one for ya Oga, make you buy sweet me, I sweet you”. Now that caught my interest. Which one be sweet me, I sweet you again?? Out of curiosity (I didn’t intend to buy anyway and I was in the mood for some humour), I asked him to show me that one. After fumbling around for a while in his bag, the man brought out a sachet of powder. It was not branded and I asked him: “Aboki this one wey no get name na wetin?? I neva wan die o!” The Aboki just smiled and said: “Madam, this one u put am inside there, if ya oga enter there come out, na anything you tell am e go do for you, Na only N600”. God have mercy! I exclaimed and turned to look at my friend. She laughed and told me that such things were very common in the north. She now asked him if he had “Ferinjini”(I think that’s what she called it), I asked her what that one was and she told me that it was some powder that is used while bathing and that the person that used it would be so attractive that it would be difficult for any man to resist her once they set their eyes on her. The Aboki man quickly concurred with what she said and brought out another powder concoction, this time not sealed in a sachet but tied in one funny looking nylon. He said: “Madam , this na the one for shine shine face, You go put am for water wen you wan bath, make you no use soap o! any man wey see you go just dey follow you”. (This one don pass me, my people)I laughed and replied: “Haba mallam! As my face dey shine neva do? Me I no want make e shine pass like dis o!” By this time, I had realized that the man really meant business and I was looking for a way to discharge him but the man just kept bringing different stuff from his bag ( I don find trouble o!). I told my colleague to tell him in hausa that we were coming back to purchase his medicines since we didn’t have money to buy them now.

As he left, I couldn’t help laughing at the whole encounter and my colleague went further to gist me how it was the practice among some northerners to buy these concoctions for their daughters when they are getting married. She told me about a friend of hers that lost her pregnancy because of one of such mixtures given to her by her mother. It was a very enlightening experience for me, I have heard about babes that use such stuff to ensnare men and all that but have never believed such stories. Now I had seen a mallam who was selling the stuff and carrying it around.

I remember a story someone once told me about a fight between two babes in UNILAG who were roommates. One of the girls had this powder mixture which she rubbed on her face every morning before going for lectures. It looked like ordinary face powder and she had put it in a face powder container. This babe always had all the guys flocking round her; in fact she was one of the happening babes on campus. Her roommate had innocently used the girl’s powder one day when her own powder was finished and next thing it was like the situation was reversed, the first babe started losing her bobos while her roommate became the center of attraction. Somehow the first babe found out that the second one had used her powder and attacked the poor girl. I don’t remember how the story ended sha but the secret was finally let out of the bag and the first girl was disgraced.

On our way back to the office, I and my colleague kept discussing the issue and we both agreed that using diabolical means (That’s what it is) to ensnare a man or keep his love is not the best and at the end of the day it always backfires on the user. It is always better to make sure your partner is happy, be for him all that he wants and leave the rest to God to handle. The relationship will definitely last longer that way and you can be sure that the love is natural and real not some zombie that will do all u tell him to just because you had bewitched him. One day the charm will fade and what happens next??

I will love to know what you think my friends.

Crazy Internet!!

Guys! My internet is driving me crazy!! Havnt been able to do lots of stuff, even the blogville Idols thingy. Hope to get it fixed soon so i can catch up with some of the latest gists in Blogville.

Ps: Posting this from a friend's pc and them don dey chase me comot o! (Borrow pose no good).

N10 is plus more hardship!

Last Sunday, my mum had returned from church to tell me that she bought fuel for N75 per litre at the petrol station as against the normal N65 on her way back. I had thought that probably it was because of the artificial scarcity (The petrol stations were hoarding fuel) over the weekend and that by Monday it would have returned to normal. I was proved wrong as all the stations I passed on my way to the office had N75 boldly displayed on the price boards.

I could only shake my head as I pondered on the situation : Which kain country be dis abeg? How can they increase fuel pump price by N10 just like that without any warning?? How do they want the common masses to cope??? Why did Obasanjo decide to do this just when he was about leaving???? These questions ran through my mind.

Just last week, the federal government had increased VAT (value added tax) from 5% to 10%. We were just trying to come to terms with that and next thing, WHAM! this increase in fuel price.
The VAT we pay is supposed to be used for the development of the country and to better the life of the people by providing them basic necessities of life like water, food, electricity good roads e.t.c, Is this too much to ask for?? Unfortunately the reverse is the case in Naija. The VAT goes into the pockets of some greedy, wicked few while the people that pay this VAT continue to suffer. Now tell me, what is the justification for the increment in VAT???
The government has given its own reasons: “Some other African countries like Ghana are paying more than 5% VAT bla bla bla “. And so what? Are they not better off than we are? I mean I don’t have issues if we pay 10% and they use the money to affect the lives of the people positively but no they wont do this, yet they talk about other countries. Does Ghana not enjoy steady electricity?? Can we boast of having power supply for up to 5 hours in a day in this country??? The roads nko? God! That one is another story.

The painful thing is that this increase in fuel prices is going to affect a lot of things, that’s if it hasn’t already. Transportation cost will rise because the bus driver will pay more for petrol, Consumer goods and food prices will go up because the market woman will pay more to transport the foodstuff to the market. The purchasing power of the poor masses will decrease since nobody is increasing their income. Dat one no be suffer on top suffer??? MTN has already started subscribers a text message saying they are increasing call rates cos of the VAT increase, who know what will be increased next.

U see now why that +N10 is plus more hardship on Nigerians whose backs are already bent to breaking point by the callous people we have been unfortunate to have as leaders.

As we usher in a new dispensation, I pray that we shall soon begin to sing a new song. People are already calling on Yar’adua to revert to the old fuel pump price. If he is a wise man, he will do this as it will endear him to the hearts of Nigerians and win him lots of goodwill but if he will rather be greedy and uncaring then na him sabi, anything he gets, let him take.
Naija people are survivors and we will definitely survive this one by God’s grace. Amen!