Tuesday, April 1, 2008

"All correct Sir!"

When you’re ‘all correct’, you become confident. You are not scared that you might fall short of any standards because you know that you have fulfilled all necessary obligations.

Am sure you all are wondering what this babe is rambling about.

Will get to it in a minute.

Picture this.
You are a student in a school and you need to have certain requirements before yon can receive lectures. For instance, a particular lecturer insists that every student must buy his ‘handouts’(you know how some lecturers put together some notes, photocopy them, call them handouts and insist you buy then at exorbitant prices) before you can sit in his class for lectures. Unfortunately your ass is broke and you can’t afford the ‘handouts’ at the time but you desperately want to receive lectures. So you sneak into the classroom and pray Mr. Lecturer doesn’t notice you and ask for your copy of the handout. Even when you need to ask a question during the lecture, you can’t because you are not ‘all correct’!

Or let’s try this other scenario.

You are a driver in Lagos and FRSC(FEDERAL ROAD SAFETY COMMISION) laws say that you must have a fire estinguisher, C-caution sign and a valid driver’s licence before you can drive your car in the city.
You don’t not have the requirements above but you still need to drive somewhere so you get into your car praying you don’t run into any Road Safety official on your way.
Sometimes you are lucky and you don’t or you pass by them and they don’t bother to stop you for their normal ‘checks’.
Other times, you ain’t so lucky and you run into them. They stop you and you get booked for being a defaulter-you may have to eventually pay like 5 times the price for those items you don’t have. Its either that or you decide to beg, flash your super white ‘32’(teeth) and toast(flatter) the officer if he/she is of the opposite sex.

“Officer, haba…take am easy na. Na forget I forget am for house(lol! Forget ko!), abeg mercy for me…see as you fine…people wey fine like you no suppose vex na…you resemble Ramsey Noah o…na your brother?....officer…oya smile na…”

LOl! See toasting!
Even when its obvious that the FRSC Officer looks like a direct descendant of the baboon, you’ll still call him ‘fine boy’ all so that he can let you go.
Sorry for you if the guy decides to believe your psyching and even begin to nurse the notion that you just may be interested in him as per ‘fine boy no pimples’ wey him be na,lol! So he asks for your phone number and God help you if you refuse to give it to him. Don’t even think of giving a fake number cos he is going to call the number right there on the spot unless of course you have a good lie to back it up.

Anyway, the point am trying to make here is that you have to endure all the wahala just because you were not ‘all correct’. You get the point now? Things would definitely have been different if your game was tight and you had all the required items.

Okay to the main gist of the day.

I have been an actor in that second scenario a couple of times,lol!
I had my C-caution sign, my driver’s licence but no Fire estinguisher. I think it was just plain ol’ laziness on my part cos I just kept saying-tomorrow, tomorrow…I’ll get it but would forget only to remember as soon as I saw the familiar brown uniformed guys a few metres ahead. Then I’ll have to go through the usual flashing my ‘31’( my teeth are not up to 32, am I normal peeps?) and toasting the officer. Unfortunately if it was a female officer, then I’ll have to think up more tactics to get out of the situation, trust me…smiling and toasting from a female don’t work with the female officers. I may get lucky and she calls her superior officer who is usually a male, so I unleash my charms on him and in a few minutes am off on my way again with the smile on my face and the scrowl on hers(the female officer).

“Am sorry lady but my charms are very effective,lol!”

Anyway, I soon got tired of playing those games with the officers and got me a nice looking fire extinguisher. Guess what guys? Since una sister buy fire extinguisher, I haven’t been stopped by any FRSC officer o! See devil! When I didn’t have a fire extinguisher, I was stopped at every turn by the FRSC people but now I have gone and got me a really fine fire extinguisher, dem no gree stop me again …mshew …nonsense and fried chicken!

But on my way to work yesterday morning, I finally got stopped.
There I was jejely driving my small hummer(lol) when this man in brown uniform just jumped into the road in front of me motioning for me to “Park!’
First of all I was not mildly pissed at the abrupt way he stopped me and I was ready to tell him my mind. I wouldn’t have been able to if it was when I wasn’t ‘all correct’ sha.
So I parked like the nice lady that I am, wound down the glass and stared him in the face and reprimanded him.
“Why did you have to stop me so abruptly, you know you could have caused an accident?”
He quickly apologized with this smug smile on his face that said:
“Abeg leave that one and show me wetin I want see…I sure say you no go get dem…by then we go know who go dey say sorry”
I understood the look and was pleased cos I was going to burst his bubble.

“Your driver’s license madam?”

I fumbled in my bag for a while. He still had the smug look on his face. He was probably thinking I didn’t have my license and was just killing time. I got it out finally and surrendered it to him. After looking at it intently like he was trying to determine if it was really my pic on the license, he went on.

‘Your Fire Extinguisher and C-caution ma?

The time was finally here. I was going to show my fire extinguisher to an FRSC officer for the first time…what a thrill,lol!

So I got down from the car. Showed off my fine legs first( even though he hadn’t asked to see that:)), then I lifted the trunk and got out my ‘fine’ fire extinguisher. I gave it to him proudly.
He opened the pack probably wishing in his heart it was one of ‘em fake extinguisher but na…sorry dude! mine was really cool as he soon discovered, he even nodded his head as he put it back into the pack.
I gave him the C-caution too.

As I walked back into my car, I was the one with the smug look on my face...I was ‘all correct’!

Ps: I really missed you all. I had to take some time off bloggimg to concentrate on some other issues although I still made out time to visit some blogs.
You’ll be seeing more of me, I promise you guys.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU AFROBABE.

51 comments:

Jaybabe said...

will be right back! Plis God this has to be a first!

Jaybabe said...

Yessssssssssssss!!!!!

Charizard said...

shit!!!!!
second place is nto goood nuff

jaybabe u no get work???

Afrobabe said...

Chineke...even with a hint and stalking I still did not make first..

Afrobabe said...

Kai, someone still up staged me again...

Charizard said...

hhahaha all the work of subscribing to the post at the end of the page..u'll c it there

all correct!

hahaha stupid lastma guy...ole buruku

Afrobabe said...

lol...There is nothing like being correct jare...the pride,the confidence...for a minute there I feared you opened your boot and it wsn't there...

Thanks for the birthday shout out babes...

doll said...

am loving this....i always feel happy when am not defauting but these guys always come up with something new....the other day i was asked for plate number registration document....WTF?

Charizard said...

LOL @ doll won ti gba ee....

desperate lady said...

Lmao @ d officer looking like a baboon, that's soooo mean Prisca, I thot u were nice......
I can't imagine having a fire xtinguisher in ma car......naija cops r jobless creatures I tell ya.

Oooo shiiiiiit! Its really afrobabes birthday?

Simi Speaks said...

Glad to see ya back!!

u cracked me up at ur toasting! see raps. lol

30+ said...

Lmao, I can just imagine you carrying the fire extinguisher like the queen mother carry her official bouquet to pose for photo.

We miss you too, take kia.

Florida of Free Spirit said...

na dis my new job i wan all correct 4 eh. get one lady who looks like d B-I-T-C-H of a supervisor i tot i was living behind in my last job. but so far, she don dey catch me 4 all d small small mistakes i don dey make. 4 heaven's sake, dis omwn should give me a break na, am onyla week old here! turns out am earning as much as her. go figures. am so looking 4wud 2 d day she'd be like 'have u don dis/' 'yes' 'have u ...' 'yes, i've done all dat'. 2 all-correct dey sweet eh.

& am number 11th again! first afro, now princesa. abeg una, dat number mean anything? maybe like i'd b expecing a million Naira later 2day?

Florida of Free Spirit said...

actually 13th!!!!! wot is dis na. i go stop 2 dey type long tori o 4 ur post. i dey vex

princesa said...

Na wa o!Una no let me post finish ke?!?! Its good..i see i have been missed,lol!

@jaybabe, yessss...its a first and you get a HUGE bar of choc babes. Now how do i get that across... lol! You better be back to read o.

@charizard, you no dey play o! This is the first time i see ur name on my blog so you are fery fery welucome. 2nd place aint too bad for a first time comer abi?

@afro, lol! You wer busy waiting to get a brand new taxi abi? jaybabe and charizard just take okada reach here before you, anyway becos its ur birthday, you get a kiss on the cheek o!Mwuahhhsss!!!

@charizard, it wasnt LASTMA, it was FRSC officials.

@doll,'plate no registration document'?! Which kain were be dat??

@DL, lol! I was just saying the truth na.I think having a fire extinguisher in ur car is part of their safety precautions, what with the useless fire service we have in this country so its every man to fighting ur own fire,lol!

Charizard said...

yes o darling moi...this ma first timeon ur blog...am new on the block n stuff...hola at ur boi smetime

princesa said...

@simi speaks, thanks dear. I sabi toast well well o!

@30+, lol! My love for the fire extinguisher never reach dat level na. Thnx sweets.

@florida, lol!You gat to play wise and careful with that supervisor babes. E be like say she get bad belle for u o!
and i've heard somethings about that no.13 o! No worry nothing do u jare...one million naira on da way!

princesa said...

@charizard, e be like say u don take room and bed for my blog o! Will holla at you soon dude.

Sasuke said...

Good to have you back Blog mother i also took a brief break from blogsville myself but it was actually as a result of a faulty laptop.

is today actually afrobabes birthday or just another April fool stunt.anyways i go visit her blog holla am.

hope you are aight? nice having you back once more

Charizard said...

na joblessness cause iya mi...e ma binu o ya i dey go now...

darkelcee said...

Pricesant ops sorry prisca... welcome back i have missed you plenty.

Naija cops cant work anywhere else except naija.

dem go run dem down and if na NYPD people come here they will go bunkers!

2 fingers in the air for NPD jare.lollll

abeg my bf no be police o. i just gbadun their foolishness

onydchic said...

Oh god, i hate you. Same thing happened to me 2 weekends ago...unfortunately, it was my mum's car, and i didnt KNOW she had an extinguisher hidden in a corner until i had had my license and docs confiscated. And shelled out 4k.

Life is cruel.

s.chic said...

Good to have you back oh...i bet the officer was ticked off like hell...

Abeg, don't go like that again o... give us advance notice...

archiwiz said...

LOL...all correct ma! Nice blog, and nice pics. You look like a good mix of Omotola and Ada(beloved lady from a Naija sitcom)

bumight said...

so u have been showing ur fine legs to LASTMA?
we're going to register u in the nunery first thing tomorrow morning!
u can be "all correct" in ur flowing black gown, head cover,white collar and black socks to match!

soupasexy said...

cracking up @ ramsey/ baboon face...nice!

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

I aint all correct sha..this police guy in my school will soon stop me again and ask why my car has inspections from another state when I am in this state...chei..maybe this God reminding me..

Naija Chickito said...

Lol. I had a similar experience but it didn't end like yours. I am all correct, wiv ma license, extinguisher, e.t.c. When I was stopped some weeks back, the road safety guy asked for everything which I produced gladly. He then said he'll book me anyway for wrong parking! I was dumbfounded. My passenger cursed him and his entire crew out. She was pissed. I just said 'God will punish you all' Lol. I believe that got em mad.

At first they just gave me a ticket, but as the insults were getting too much, they impounded my car. O, I was only too glad to rain more abuses on them, cause they did the worst they could, I was free to run my mouth..and I did. They were really pissed. Got my car the following day! I told them they were just trying to reach target through any means possible. Egbe!

Onome said...

thank God I have mine ooo so i 'all correct'(lol)....thanks for stopping by my blog dearie:-)

Unbiased said...

Welcome back hon!!
We mizzed your blogging self.
lmao @ your fyne red fire estinguisher!!

Unbiased said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ms. emmotions said...

SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS BAAACCCCCCCCK !!!

lol @ small hummer jeep, mine is BIG !!!!

Olamild said...

Welcome Back o

See u ehn
U r so lucky that u had everything
That officer for show you wen.

fantasy queen said...

good to have you back jare...

i feel you on this, its so annoying when i have to play sweet for all those ramsey noah wannabe baboons...especially lastman. i'll run those thugs over one day. upon collecting bribe they'll still try to toast me agin. they no fear at all.

Aphrodite said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
OluwaDee said...

Lol! all correct madame.

Its soo good 2 hv u back deariee.

princesa said...

@sasuke, how have you been son? Glad ur lappie is better now...missed ur funny tales too.

@darkelcee, lol@gbaduning their foolishness! You talk true abeg. I really doubt if those guys undergo training at all before been given uniforms to wear.

@onydchic, you hard to part with 4k?! Pele o...it annoys me when i spend money that would have been used to sort out better things on police/lastma and co.
Well now you know where that extinguisher is,lol!

@s.chic,if he was, he didnt show it sha. Advance notice?? I thot i did!

@archiwz, thanks... Hmmm...A cross btw Omotola and Ada. I take that as a compliment o!

@bumight, lol! YOu crazy babe. Me nunnery?? Them no got gree accept me sef,lol!

@soupasexy, lol!Thanks.

@zephi, lol! You berra go get urself 'all correct' babes. heed da voice of warning,lol!

@naija chickito, Wrong parking?? No be im tell u to park?!
Which kain crase be that na...imagine the concobility,lol!
Those gusy can really piss one off but as i have learnt, it always better to just manage the anger and ignore them so you can be on ur way in one piece. They can be very vindictive.

@onome, good!You are welcome.

@unbiased, thanks dear.

@ms. emmotions, yea am backkkkkk!!!
Did u miss me too much?? Hmmm...BIG hummer, can i get a ride sometime? Pretty plzzzzzzzzzz!!

@olamild, hey babes..how body? if iu ddint know better i for think say you really wanted that officer to show me wen,lol!

@FT, lol! The nerve of those cows! Them no dey fear face at all. Abeg no run anyone over sha, i dont have money to pay lawyer o:)

@oluwadee, thanks, its good to have you all too.

NIGERIA POLITRICKS said...

princesa, u be real razz babe. me likey! lawl!!!

Sparkle said...

LOL direct descendant of a baboon!!! I need to start using that...lmao!!!

Omosewa said...

LOL..the cops must be having fun randomsly stopping people.

LOL@showing off your fine legs...its allowed!

Take it easy babe!

wellsbaba said...

i missed u ooo....thsnkGod ur back,ur alwais oppressing gus wit ya fine body...lol....no wonder!!!

Today's ranting said...

wow! You got small hummer? Abeg post the picture make i see so make i envy you big confident madam wey e dey flash her sexy legs to frsc man. You one hella funny babe.Thank heavens you back. OW WAZ YA EASTER?

Sherri said...

all correct babe!
how u dey?

azuka said...

Lol! You showed him who was boss.

pamela said...

LOL!!

La Reine said...

Aww, I'm late.....but I loved your all correct blog.

Too funny.

Uzezi said...

correct babe. u correct like HiTV.

i held my breath when u had o show off ur legs and go to the truck, cos i thought the next thing will be, the extinguisher wasn't there. Thank God sha.

AlooFar said...

LoL @ Uzezi's

...Actually I think u should tatoo ur right arm with the Nike's Swoosh Logo.

Very funny post ;)

Aijay said...

LMAO @ "Even when its obvious that the FRSC Officer looks like a direct descendant of the baboon, you’ll still call him ‘fine boy’..."

Babes, you're mean o. lol
Good to have u back my dear.

princesa said...

@nigeria politricks,me razz babe?! Glad you likey.

@sparkle, no tell them say na me teach you o!

@omosewa, you know what they say,if you've got it...flaunt it!

@wellsbaba, missed you too jare. Me oppressing guy ke?? Thats not fair!

@today's ranting, lol! You want me to post my small hummer enh? Will you contribute to a big hummer for me if i do? My easter was very cool. I hope urs was too.

@sherri, lol! I dey o! How u dey too?

@azuka, yea i did.

@pamela,you and your lols!

@la reine, thanks dearie.

@uzezi. So you thought the same as afrobabe. I wonder what would have happened if I didn’t find the extinguisher, e for no correct o!

@aloofar,lol! I just might do it!

@aijay, its good to be back too babes and u know am not mean:)

Naapali said...

U dis Princesa with your deceptive good looks, na so so trouble u dey cause, den u bat your eyelids, smile and comot!