"All correct Sir!"

When you’re ‘all correct’, you become confident. You are not scared that you might fall short of any standards because you know that you have fulfilled all necessary obligations.

Am sure you all are wondering what this babe is rambling about.

Will get to it in a minute.

Picture this.
You are a student in a school and you need to have certain requirements before yon can receive lectures. For instance, a particular lecturer insists that every student must buy his ‘handouts’(you know how some lecturers put together some notes, photocopy them, call them handouts and insist you buy then at exorbitant prices) before you can sit in his class for lectures. Unfortunately your ass is broke and you can’t afford the ‘handouts’ at the time but you desperately want to receive lectures. So you sneak into the classroom and pray Mr. Lecturer doesn’t notice you and ask for your copy of the handout. Even when you need to ask a question during the lecture, you can’t because you are not ‘all correct’!

Or let’s try this other scenario.

You are a driver in Lagos and FRSC(FEDERAL ROAD SAFETY COMMISION) laws say that you must have a fire estinguisher, C-caution sign and a valid driver’s licence before you can drive your car in the city.
You don’t not have the requirements above but you still need to drive somewhere so you get into your car praying you don’t run into any Road Safety official on your way.
Sometimes you are lucky and you don’t or you pass by them and they don’t bother to stop you for their normal ‘checks’.
Other times, you ain’t so lucky and you run into them. They stop you and you get booked for being a defaulter-you may have to eventually pay like 5 times the price for those items you don’t have. Its either that or you decide to beg, flash your super white ‘32’(teeth) and toast(flatter) the officer if he/she is of the opposite sex.

“Officer, haba…take am easy na. Na forget I forget am for house(lol! Forget ko!), abeg mercy for me…see as you fine…people wey fine like you no suppose vex na…you resemble Ramsey Noah o…na your brother?....officer…oya smile na…”

LOl! See toasting!
Even when its obvious that the FRSC Officer looks like a direct descendant of the baboon, you’ll still call him ‘fine boy’ all so that he can let you go.
Sorry for you if the guy decides to believe your psyching and even begin to nurse the notion that you just may be interested in him as per ‘fine boy no pimples’ wey him be na,lol! So he asks for your phone number and God help you if you refuse to give it to him. Don’t even think of giving a fake number cos he is going to call the number right there on the spot unless of course you have a good lie to back it up.

Anyway, the point am trying to make here is that you have to endure all the wahala just because you were not ‘all correct’. You get the point now? Things would definitely have been different if your game was tight and you had all the required items.

Okay to the main gist of the day.

I have been an actor in that second scenario a couple of times,lol!
I had my C-caution sign, my driver’s licence but no Fire estinguisher. I think it was just plain ol’ laziness on my part cos I just kept saying-tomorrow, tomorrow…I’ll get it but would forget only to remember as soon as I saw the familiar brown uniformed guys a few metres ahead. Then I’ll have to go through the usual flashing my ‘31’( my teeth are not up to 32, am I normal peeps?) and toasting the officer. Unfortunately if it was a female officer, then I’ll have to think up more tactics to get out of the situation, trust me…smiling and toasting from a female don’t work with the female officers. I may get lucky and she calls her superior officer who is usually a male, so I unleash my charms on him and in a few minutes am off on my way again with the smile on my face and the scrowl on hers(the female officer).

“Am sorry lady but my charms are very effective,lol!”

Anyway, I soon got tired of playing those games with the officers and got me a nice looking fire extinguisher. Guess what guys? Since una sister buy fire extinguisher, I haven’t been stopped by any FRSC officer o! See devil! When I didn’t have a fire extinguisher, I was stopped at every turn by the FRSC people but now I have gone and got me a really fine fire extinguisher, dem no gree stop me again …mshew …nonsense and fried chicken!

But on my way to work yesterday morning, I finally got stopped.
There I was jejely driving my small hummer(lol) when this man in brown uniform just jumped into the road in front of me motioning for me to “Park!’
First of all I was not mildly pissed at the abrupt way he stopped me and I was ready to tell him my mind. I wouldn’t have been able to if it was when I wasn’t ‘all correct’ sha.
So I parked like the nice lady that I am, wound down the glass and stared him in the face and reprimanded him.
“Why did you have to stop me so abruptly, you know you could have caused an accident?”
He quickly apologized with this smug smile on his face that said:
“Abeg leave that one and show me wetin I want see…I sure say you no go get dem…by then we go know who go dey say sorry”
I understood the look and was pleased cos I was going to burst his bubble.

“Your driver’s license madam?”

I fumbled in my bag for a while. He still had the smug look on his face. He was probably thinking I didn’t have my license and was just killing time. I got it out finally and surrendered it to him. After looking at it intently like he was trying to determine if it was really my pic on the license, he went on.

‘Your Fire Extinguisher and C-caution ma?

The time was finally here. I was going to show my fire extinguisher to an FRSC officer for the first time…what a thrill,lol!

So I got down from the car. Showed off my fine legs first( even though he hadn’t asked to see that:)), then I lifted the trunk and got out my ‘fine’ fire extinguisher. I gave it to him proudly.
He opened the pack probably wishing in his heart it was one of ‘em fake extinguisher but na…sorry dude! mine was really cool as he soon discovered, he even nodded his head as he put it back into the pack.
I gave him the C-caution too.

As I walked back into my car, I was the one with the smug look on my face...I was ‘all correct’!

Ps: I really missed you all. I had to take some time off bloggimg to concentrate on some other issues although I still made out time to visit some blogs.
You’ll be seeing more of me, I promise you guys.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU AFROBABE.