Thursday, December 13, 2007

Cool Dad...Mr Baker


I just saw this movie-CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN.
It was one cool, funny as hell, interesting movie. You know the kinda popcorn grubbing, ice cream licking, couch rolling, rib cracking movie you love to watch with family/friends.
I guess some of you must have seen this movie but for those that haven’t am going to try to tell the storyline in a few sentences.
Okay so the movie is centered round the Baker family, a family of fourteen: Father, Mother and a dozen children. It captures their experiences as individuals first and also as part of a BIG family, the love they share, the naughty kids’ pranks, their adventures and travails.

This is not just about the movie but about the Hero of the movie, The Dad, Mr. Tom baker played by Steve Martin.
I know its all make believe but for me, in that movie he represented what the perfect father should be like.

You see,I do not share a close relationship with my father . We live in the same house but sometimes we don’t even set eyes/speak to each other for days on end(its crazy right? But its true!) Sometimes the only word I say to him throughout the week is probably ‘good morning’ which he barely acknowledges anyway.
It’s not just me, it’s the same for my other siblings. None of us are close to him like that. My mum is the one who is chummy with everyone. She is so interested in knowing what’s up with you that sometimes it tends to be meddling but all the same its all good since she makes up for the lack of attention from my dad. Its so bad that we’ve all gotten used to living that way so much that it’s become very normal.

For as long as I remember, dad has always been like that. So into himself and himself alone! He didn’t bring us up with that sense of family that was evident in the movie (spoken of above) and that I have seen in the homes of some of my friends.
When I was much younger, I used to wish some of my friends’ dads were mine, I would see they way they joked around and played with their daughters and I’d wonder why mine was so different(funny enough, they also wished they had a dad like mine but only us knew the real dad).
When I see my dad laugh so heartily with outsiders, I would wonder why he never laughed that way with us. Was it that we didn’t meet his standard or what? Anyway, I lived with it(still living with it) and I have learnt to accept things the way they are.

I know lots of girls pray to marry a man like their dads but in my case I pray to God daily not to give me a husband who finds it difficult to show affection to their family like my dad. Please do not get me wrong. My dad is not that bad. He is veryyyyyyyyy handsome and I do not know another man who is more responsible than my Father. I could vouch for his fidelity to my mum since they got married(SERIOUS!!!) and he has always provided for us all this years at least until we started working. It’s just that when it comes to the emotional angle…you know all that fatherly love…its just not his style!
Now enough about my dad, lets go back to Mr. Baker and why am giving him ‘The perfect dad award’.

So, there was this point in the movie(Part 1) when they had to move from the countryside to the City and his oldest son (about 21)who was missing his country belle decided he didn’t want to continue with college and he would rather move back to the country. They had a disagreement. The father insisted that the young man had to at least get a diploma which his son didn’t think was necessary since all he wanted was to live the simple life in the woods.
At a point the young man was so rude and defiant that I expected the father to get all angry and hit him but the way he handled the situation won my heart. With so much love and tenderness he was able to get his son to understand him and even got him to apologise for his attitude.

There were so many scenes where Mr. Baker displayed the Xteristics that make him a wonderful dad to me but I guess am just too lazy to recount all of them here.

I know that for some of you who have seen the movie, Mr. Baker may not even make the mark, probably cos your dads were even better than he was but please understand where that from where I am coming from he signifies the kind of father I would love to have –a man for whom family came first!

There was also the touching scene when his first daughter had a baby(Part 2) and she said the baby was to be called Tom(Her dad’s first name) because he was their hero and his love and sacrifices had gotten them so far. The sweet man even shed a tear as he cuddled the baby.

I think she said it in these words:
“For showing us that there is no way to be a perfect parent but so many ways to be a good one”

Okay so you still don’t get my drift ehn??
Go see the movie!

Ps: Am dedicating this post to Mr. Nandu(a wonderful father to his kids and adopted daughter-ME!) My boss(He won’t get to read this but he is a great dad, I have seen him with his kids so I know), aijay’s dad(For being daddy and mummy all these years) and to all the great dads we know.

Peace out!

41 comments:

Afrobabe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Afrobabe said...

Firssssssssssssssssst...Am on a role baby!!!



Nice post, my dad was the tyrant and for years we couldn't talk to him but all that went away with age...i have written a post about him but each time i want to post it i wonder if i should.

dont give up on him, they come from an era where they didnt know any better.

Jaybabe said...

Lemme see..ermmm..how many men have i known that displayed a father figure to me?...ermmm..
1. My aunt's husband in O/town where i grew up. He wasn't really tahat good a dad. Even to his very own kids. I think the problem rose from the fact that he was having problems with his wife, so he never really paid any attention to us.
2. My mum's late husband. I hated that guy. So much that i didn't even change my second name to his when he married my mum. He was abusing my mum like hell, both physically and emotionally. He wasn't takin care of me the way i wud've loved. He had too many mistresses. He had so many kids outside the marriage(well, which i only gotten to know about at his funeral)..so many things about him

I donno how fatherly love feels like....

simplynuttie said...

"When I see my dad laugh so heartily with outsiders, I would wonder why he never laughed that way with us. Was it that we didn’t meet his standard or what? Anyway, I lived with it(still living with it) and I have learnt to accept things the way they are."

My thoughts, exactly, where my dad is concerned.

I only overlook his emotional shortcomings when i think of the fact that he is lonely, considering my mum is late.

Princesa, you are lucky, you know? Cos your mum makes up for your dad...

UndaCovaSista said...

I haven't seen Cheaper by the Dozen personally, but i can relate to the other aspect of the post, being the daughter of an emotionally isolated and distant Father myself. I think with time you just come to accept it as the way things are 'cos there's really nothing you can do about it. I still envy people (especially girls) who have good relationships with their fathers though. Ah well...

cally-waffybabe said...

Just to wish you a lovely xmas and and new year in advance girl. I hope you have a swell time and may all your dreams be fulfilled.

Hugs
xxx

P.S.
That thing is no more tomorrow (gat my drift?). It's next Thursday. Na wa for mind changing...

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

I understand your sentiment on fathers. I learnt from my father exactly what I did not want in a husband and father for my children. Just be thankful that the father you have has been there for you even though he was emotionally absent.

Maybe you should write him a letter, talk to him or something. It will shock you, he might be ready to communicate and be more available, emotionally. Oooh, I sound like Oprah, don't I?
lol.

Arewa said...

Havent seen the movie but i guess i can put it on my to see list over the xmas holidays...
I feel u on the relationsip that u have with your dad, thts the sort of relationship that i have with my mum and my brother..so i totally get where ur comming from...but at least u haver ur mum to make up for ur dads relationship but its never the same is it?!

Queen of My Castle said...

I loved that movie! The whole time I was watching it I was wishing to have a husband and family like that. I love my dad to bits, but we are not that close either. He always wanted to be affectionate with me but I think a part of me hated him for the way he treated my mother, so I rejected him and only spoke to him when I needed to. I always prayed that GOD not give me a man like my father. He's a good provider, but...

Nice post babes

diary of a G said...

see P?
that's what am talking about...
there you go again taking a next post right outta my mouth...lol

me n my pops also share a very similar relationship
I feel you on that daily:
"good morning, good evening and good night" thingy

I think my pop's ERA plays a roll and the silence is prolly some type
defense mechanism..for who knows what...

you're right tho...
I love my pops and he is the most responsible man I know
but there are curtain traits
that
I won't be following my father in...
all respect due..but am gotta be my own man

If I hadn't already seen "PARTS" of the movie...this your Lil Critic Review would have my taking
a close second look

happy weekend P

desperate lady said...

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww this is so sweet, my dad is such a great dad but my mom? hmmmmmm if she wasn't my mom i'd call her a witch(God forgive me but i've had enough of that woman). Anyway let me start heading to the closest blockbuster and if this movie isn't good, i'll be back for you sharp sharp for my dollars.

Writefreak said...

You make me want to watch this movie again..did i see it at all? Lol
My dad was absent most of my childhood..we weren't living together for some reason but the most important fact i remember is he tried to make up for those times he was away by playing with us as much as possible etc..i remember plaiting his hair as a kid and sitting on his laps..till now we can still sit down and joke..it's the same for both of my parents..he has his bad sides which i made sure were absent in my hubby..:-) but he's ok sa
I hope your dad gets to realise how much he's missed out in his kids' lives and softens..And i hope your future kids have an emotionally present dad. Much love!

princesa said...

@afrobabe, lol!
Looks like ur lucky week babes.
So which do u want? An icecream, a kiss or a hug??

Ur Dad got better with age right? I think my dad grew even more distant or is it us(his kids) that grew distant? L dont know.


I dont think its about their era, after all my fav uncle is older than my dad and he is so chummy with his kids even me.
I guess its all about personality.

@jaybabe, that was touching dear. I see you didnt grow up with ur dad. I dont think any man can ever treat a child that is not his as good as the real dad.
Am glad ur mum is free of that abusive man.

@ simplynuttie,sorry about ur mum dear. Sometimes i wonder what if my mum was like my dad, how would we have turned out? Bitter and cold...i guess.

@undacoversista, welcome to the club babes. On envying girls with expressive and loving dads, wanna tell me about that?!

@cally sweetie, thanks for the wishes love. I wish you the sam e and more.
I got ur drift, no wahala.

@soloD, wow! Do i get the feeling ur dad was worse?? Seems like we plenty for this club o!
On writing that letter, i dont think am that brave. We'll see...

@arewa,am sure you'll love the movie.
It's never the same at all. We dont choose our family so i guess we all just have to live with them the way they are.
I can never understand mums being cold and indifferent, it's just not motherly.

@castle queen, ur last statement:"He's a good provider, but..."
Its not all about providing the physical.
Ur dad doesnt sound that terrible, i hope he treats ur mum better now.

@DOG,lol! Seems like we are on the same frequency then.I loved it when you said "am gotta be my own man".
You are special G,, i know you are gonna give ur kids the love ther need.

@desperate lady, what with the deperation??lol!(Just kiddin)
Sorry about ur mum dear, i dont know what it is that makes you not like her.
Its all good.
I can bet you'll come back to dash me some dollars for introducing the movie to you.lol!

@writefreak, am sure when you watch the movie again, you'll see it in a new light. Your dad tried to make up for his absence, thats good.
About my dad softening up, that'd be a miracle. Thanks still.

Afrobabe said...

I think you kids moved a bit...I remember the first time I hugged and kissed my dad as an adult, he was embarrased and it was akward but i didnt stop till we got it right...

my brothers found it harder, they were so used to being shouted out that they always left the living room when he came in, then 2 yrs back he called to say my brothers dont talk to him...it wasn't time to tell him where he went wong, it was time to build the bridge..

It can be done.

My gift....ice cream will melt b4 it gets here oh (Plus the diet) But I will accept some suya pepper...abeg anyone coming to london, send me some...

Afrobabe said...

we should chat one of this days...

princesa said...

@afrobabe,Thanks for branching by my house. I agree maybe we also moved far from him but i believe kids are a product of their environment so no be our fault. Sorry i upstaged you at simplynuttie's.
Eh ya , you want suya?? and there is this mallam that makes great suya just outside my office o! Dont start salivating...na how to send am across be problem.lol!

We should chat,its about time. Email me @princessimma@gmail.com.

darkelcee said...

that film is one of my best....

i love steve martins to bits

hmm, my dad was not the touchy mushy dad but he loved us all the same, we can sit on his laps but come to think of it i think i got a hug only once? lol!

i am sure we can all get better once we become parents

i cant wait

lindwee said...

I have watched part 1 and 2. I am waiting for 3.

Merry Christmas!

Olamild said...

Beautiful
I hope evrything works well with dad. You are dedicating a post to gr8 dads and u did not even supply us with champagne?

fantasy queen said...

dads...mine was cool, he'd frown at the guys crawling all over the house and grudgingly say u're welcome to em' even tho he want to get a shot gun, he was cool like that till i became a teen and fought with him(well, more of the he shouts and i sulk and give him the silent treatment for weeks)
i regret of those weeks of silence now he's gone.

i think u should take the 'good mornings' further, enjoy the moments while u still can, cos one day u'd think back and wonder...maybe he's just not the type who shows emotions, u've got to try n pull/force/choke it out of him.

dont we all just love our mummies. ThankGod for em'.

fantasy queen said...

lol' @afro, if u've been really really good this year, i just might say the magic word and u'll get the suya spice....hit me up if u're interested.

pamelastitch said...

lol...

I did not like that movie...I don't know why... :-(


The older I get, the closer I get to my dad...maybe, i think age, brings out all the nurturing characteristics in men.... :D

princesa said...

@darkelcee, lol! You got a hug at least!
The good thing is we can make sure we dont repeat our parents negatives on our kids.

@lindwee, merry xmas to you too. Part 3 doesnt sound bad.

@olamild, you too like party sef this babe. Champange ke? Okay will you mind Zobo??lol!

@fantasy queen,ur dad sounds cool. Do you mean he is gone like dead?? Sorry about that.

@pammy, the first person that doesnt like the movie!!! Na wa o! I wonder what ur taste in movies are like.
If age does make men more softer, why has my pops not changed then??

pamelastitch said...

hmm

pamelastitch said...

LOL!! I love thrillers and suspense,
romantic comedies minus HITCH (I hated that movie too).

Bridjet Jones Diary - I loved, loved, loved.


I believe men find easier to communicate love by doing things than actually saying the words.....

Maybe, in your case, you have to reach out.....

KreativeMix said...

i loved the movie plus i'm a steve martin fan :-)

Florida of Free Spirit said...

this is so moving. i'm actually shedding a few tears. i too, like u, had a father who repressed his emotions. but unlike urs, he neither provided nor was faithful to my mom. am d oldest unmarried girl n my family, not cos i haven't seen any good man, but cos am paranoid abt anyone remotely like my father. i've witness my mom's unhappiness & her misery & am determined not to experience. My brother-in-law says it's holding me captive, & he's right. i keep praying that one day i shall be free, & learn to see one man as himself & not as potential-dad

Florida of Free Spirit said...

merry christmas y'all!!!!

Jaybabe said...

Abeg...can somebody update!!

30+ said...

I wish that was my Dad.

My pops has no issue with showing emotion but there are other areas I wish he improved.

Allied said...

My dad is cool, we talk, we jist , we laugh. He is not perfect, well i am not either.

But my Mom, i just have a relationship with her cause she is my mother. I pray day and night not to mother my kids the way she did hers,

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

nice blog u have here hon, i will be back, albeit i dont go to movies - i know, im a lame

princesa said...

@pammy, it's the reaching out that is the problem now, we've gotten so used to the colness that i dont even know how to be warm with him.

@Kreativemix, nice, am his fan too

@florida, ur comment was moving too dear.I hope you find that man who is not 'ptential dad'soon.Merry xmas to you too.

@jaybabe,lol! Update police ehn??
My dear am very very busy o! Will see if i can do a mini-update before xmas.

@30+, Serious??, babes, you dont know my dad o! Anyway i guess no one is perfect, we just live with them the way they are.

@allied, awwh...another mummy comment. Thank God you are going to be a better mum to ur kids.

@torrance, no you are not lame, just someone who isnt crazy about movies. It's okay though, man must not live by movies alone right??lol!
Thanks for dropping in.

ONdLOW said...

Wow and i complain that my dad is too over involved. He was giving sex education and all that stuff. Maybe i have all twisted. I should probably appreciate my dad, his jokes and oversabiness now.
I wish you all the best with your dad..things can change.

I am new to blogging, but i like yours. Visit mine if you can

cinnamonqueen said...

Funny I saw this film on tv the other day - or wait, maybe it was yesterday? You should see Father of the Bride, it gets me every time.

You know my cousin wished all her life not to end up with a man like her father as he had always been so hot-headed and guess what? She did end up with a man exactly like him. I guess as much as you may not want to, you never know...
But I do get your drift. :)

diary of a G said...

hey P
how you dey?
happy merry ho ho holidays

little miss me said...

nice post...and i really liked the movie,saw it a long while back but still remember how much i could relate to it.you should see part 2,it only gets better.i hope you are able to form a tighter emotional bond with your dad someday,some hugging and kissing once in a while maybe.

Jaybabe said...

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Jaybabe said...

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Olamild said...

Season Greetings

Andy said...

Hello Mrs Baker!!!!