Wednesday, May 14, 2008

One hot night at Oshodi

It was a hot night and I was dead beat from a hectic day at work. Driving in traffic without air-conditioning didn’t make it any better too. I made a mental note to call my AC guy the following day to come check out what the problem was with the air-conditioning.

As we crawled in traffic, my mind drifted to other things. The clients I needed to call, the television and radio scripts I had to write, what I would have for dinner, blogs I was yet to read and so on.

The raspy voice broke into my thoughts and returned me to the present.
“Aunty find us something…”
I looked up to stare into the face of this rough looking young man, obviously a ‘Lagos area boy’. I quickly took in my environment and realised I was on top of Oshodi bridge(a place notorious for its area boys and thieves). When did we reach Oshodi? I thought.

My windows were wound down because of the bad air-conditioning and the tout was leaning against it almost breathing into my face.
“Äunty I say find us something…”
He wasn’t pleading. He was commanding me. I understood the situation perfectly. I had come in contact with his kind before and have also heard the experiences of others who have too. I knew it was only a matter of moments before he became even more aggressive. It was their style-obtaining by force!

Naturally, the first thought that came to mind was…girl, wound up the window quickly!
But then the young man was already leaning against the half open window and It wouldn’t be hard for him to stop the upward movement of the glass if I tried. I also remembered the gist Osi gave me about how during a similar encounter with these touts, she had succeeded in wounding up her windows only for them to smash the windows with a huge stone and finally make away with her bags and all the jewellery she had on while other road users looked on. Who would butt in ke? Everyone was scared for their own life!

I thought fast…what do I do now?

Just then another even rougher looking guy joined our mini- party. The both of them were obviously part of the same gang of ‘obtaining by force’ thieves.
“Mama…drop something for boys” Who be ur mama, devil punish you!
He even sounded less persuasive than the first guy.
“Calm down princesa”, I told myself. I couldn’t let them know how scared I was. That was the first rule- never show the enemy you are afraid- So, turning to the them with a fake smile plastered on, I said. “Ha...una come for wrong time o…no money dey now…next time abeg…”
Area boy 1 quickly retorted.
“Aunty find us something…abi you want make we show ourselves”
He moved his hands towards his waist.
Show ourselves?? Whatever did he mean by that? I didn’t want to find out o. I looked ahead, the damned traffic was not moving! I had to give them something but that would mean bringing up my bag and wont that be like the biggest mistake I could make? They were so close, all they would need to do would be to reach into my car and grab the bag with all its contents. Why wait for mere crumbs when they could have the whole loaf? That’s usually the way they reasoned. My bag was better left on the floor where it was safely hidden from their view.

My hands went to my pigeon-hole. I always kept spare change for the beggars in there.
I brought out the first note I felt in there, not even looking to see how much it was and handed it to the first guy.
He quickly grabbed it and peered at it.
“10 naira?!! This woman think say we dey play for here o” he said to his partner.
"Na 10 naira you dey give us enh?" He flung the N10 note at my face.
I picked up the money still smiling my fake smile.
Abeg manage am na…na wetin I get be dat”

From the corner of my eye, i could see the traffic had started moving, the car in front of me was moving ahead. Should I move the car, I thought. It would only be for a few metres and then they would catch up with me again, what then?
I was still holding my miserable looking N10 note and the area boys had this angry looks on their faces. This was the time when they are supposed to bring out the gun hidden under their belt or the knife in their pocket. Wasn’t it?

The bus driver behind me was blaring his horn. He shouted something. It sounded like “Move now!!”
The boys looked startled. Exchanging a brief look, they moved. They moved away!
I couldn’t believe my luck. Quickly I put the car in gear, glancing in the side mirrors to see if they were gone for real. They were. I drove on murmuring thanks to my God and the driver behind me.

The windows were wound up now, I was hot yes but relieved. Tomorrow the A.C had to be fixed!

Someone sent this in my face book inbox today.
"Love,please watsup love, i found you, you are my love i wish to have you as soon as possible, am dying in e call me (insert phone number) then you il make my dream come tru ;lol.but if you'l break ya bone"

He probably thought it was funny...that last part about breaking my bone. i didn't find it funny at all. Which kain toasting be dat one??

Another thing o
Visiting my facebook today, i was surprised to see so many strange things like...
princesa has added so and so as friends or princesa has joined so and so group.
My people, shock catch me o. Some of these people added as friends,i didnt even know!
I checked the time i was supposed to have done those things-9am.
9am i wasnt even online!
na wa o...does anyone understand this?
Pls i need some sort of explanation! I hope someone is not assessing my account o!
Nothing wey no fit happen for internet.


Jinta said...

ah. i miss lagos. be there next week.

darkelcee said...

jinta how come u dey take 1st position everywhere? i no like am oh. loollll

haa, prisca you get liver chai, i no fit pull that stunt infact i would hvae given them everything plus my shoes.

facebook magic? pele dear.

the love note, reply the guy:

"OPC & BAKASSI boys dey my side.aint calling you for realso check me out!"

s.chic said...

eyaaa, thank God oh...could have been a different story...i think i would have been shaking out of my pants...

lol...different "toasting" skills sha! but which one bi i'll break your bones" again? na by force?

LG said...

lol@..."Na 10 naira you dey give us enh?"
prisco, shebi u dey call me razz, now u ve seen how handy it is 2 b friends with agberos, u only have to speak their language n they let u go UNSCATHED, so wen r u coming for lessons, lol!!!!
thank God norrin happened, i for close oshodi for 6 months

* Na wa for ur toasters o, dis one has skills lol!!!*

*how body?*

Nyemoni said...

Phew! Thank God for you o! How are you dearie?

bumight said...

you BETTER find something for me too, or else I'll break ya bone...for real!

fantasy queen said...

change your password.

as for the traffic obtainers, encountered them about three times, starts with a fierce knock on the window, never been stupid enough to wind down to hear what they want, always wise enough to have my doors securely locked.
all those times made me feel like 007 aint restricted to guys only,i showed em driving skills squeezing into the barest space in the next lane.
'clear way for the bad girl'

onydchic said...

OMG, same thing happened to me somewhere in Ikeja one evening. Me, I pretended to reach for my bag then stomped on the accelerator instead. Luckily the traffic was moving at that point.
Second time round, wasn't so lucky, had to give that #$!!@ 100 bucks, cos my car was off and one of them was already reaching for my door handle.. Pissing day.

These guys are something else, lucky u though!

Abbie said...

You tell truly captivating stories.
Glad you got outta that incident in one piece.

diary of a G said...

glory be to god our princesa drove away safe cos even my jamo ass know bout dem ‘Lagos area boy’

way to toast a lady. what a jerk!

NikkiSab said...

Ha!!! Dere some places in dis lagos dat i dont wind down for nada. I av dis killer frown i put wen i drive so no 1 messes with me and thankfully de haven't. Oworo,magodo junction and oshodi are areas to b careful wen driving.
Na so i see facebook o! Sometimes isee i added so, so and so and it puzzles me.I see say u tag me, i don answer. Hope u ok gal.

princesa said...

@jinta, we dey wait you. ope u will holla when u came o.

@darkelcee, lol!My dear i no get liver o , i just had to pretend o. That facebook magic still baffles me.

@s.chic, my sister abeg helep me ask by force??

@lg, my sister abeg i need those lessons o! How we go take hook up na?
lol@closing oshodi for 6 months.Thats so sweet love.

@nyemoni, am fine dear. How are u and the baby doing?

@bumight, lol! Wetin you want abeg?? I go comply o

@FT, i think i'll do just that. Change my password. How have u been? Will holla soon.

Andy said...

That facebook..."break your bone" line...LMAO That is what happens when "rhyming-by-force" takes over "common sense"! Laffs

Anonymous said...

LMAO, reminds me of the many third mainland experiences, people leaving cars and fleeing on foot, somethin we have to leave with so we can as well lugh it off. First time here

Naija Chickito said...

Thank God for safety! I shudder to think of the other 'would-have-been' possible negative outcomes. You are a blessed child.

As for the facebook matter, I haven't experienced anything like that before. It's really strange..hmmm

Smaragd said...

Thank God for you lady, pls never wind down when stuck in traffic!

it's better to sweat and breath in hot air cuz these guys are real wackos.

the hemp they inhale now must be expired or sumfn.

facebook is becoming hi5 too. i'm just tired!

take care.

Mommy said...

...and you want me to visit that Lagos some time soon? Hellz nah! Repair that AC sharp sharp...and abeg if there's another way home...
Thank God for His mercies. You are indeed blessed! :0)
What kind of agbero toasting is that? (lol).
Its taking me forever to write those quirks oh!

AnyaPosh said...

Omigoodness!!! 1st i'm glad you're OK. I dunno what you would've done if the the bus driver hadn't sorta interjected there. Wow. Oh my Lord!!!

Ok, then that facebook thing is kinda weird. Check to see if the friends that were added are actually YOUR FRIENDS. If they're not, then hunny plz change your password quickly!

On another note. I don't usually like automatic playlists on blogs but I always come back here to listen to yours. Kudos to calming tunes!!!

princesa said...

@onydchic, that was a sharp move there.Quick thinking!

@abbie, thanks dear and why do you lock us out of ur blog?

@D.O.G, lol@ur jamo ass. What a jerk indeed!

@nikki nwannem, thanks for the info on Oworo and Magodo. Will check out ur answer. I dey fine jare.

princesa said...

@andy, lol@rhyming by force. How you dey doc?

@sprezatura, yea i guess we just have to live with it. Sad really. Welcome to my blog.

@naija chickito, i shudder too o. I am blessed indeed i agree. Even though i dont deserve i, God loves me.

@smaragd, babe u dont need to tell me o. I'd rather roast in teh haet than expose myself to those idiots again. Thank god my AC is working now.

@mommy, you have to visit love, no area boy should dissuade you at all. lol@agbero toasting.

@anyaposh, the bus driver was really God sent. Glad you like my playlist.
Those peeps on facebook, i have checked and i dont know any of them!
Will have to change my password sharpish!

Afrobabe said...

the facebook own could be people u invited long ago...but me sef dey see somethings for my own wey I no too remember oh..

kai, u have suceeded in scaring me about lag again...I still dey come sha...

Toochi said...

hey...sup dear...i'm back from the land of not typing.
how you doing?

musco said...

this lagos is just a crazy place to live.really can't wait to finish my service year & clear out of this crazy country called lagos.

u were just very lucky to walk out of that experience unhurt.wonder when our so called government will begin to do something about the menance called area boys!

Manda said...

madam wait o! na ur page dey delete my comment or wat? i remember being numba 9 yesterday so i'm wondering where my comment dissappeared to!

Obi said...

Hmm..maybe someone's been accessing your didn't give out your password, did ya..??

PS: Na wa for you only 10 bucks you wan give boyz..?? I for vex sef...

princesa said...

@afrobabe, abeg dey come, nothing dey happen.
@toochi, am doing fine dude. will be at urs shortly.
@musco, i was o! they have to do something fast about them area boys.
@manda lovey, i no no wetin dey do blogger o! Will call u soon.
@obi, i dont remember giving out my password to anyone.
i didnt look at the money so i no know whether na 10bucks!

teediva said...

thank God for u o!

i dont know whats wrong with facebook and people's privacy. take care dear.

teediva said...

ps: luving the matchbox20!

Tears said...

LOL! lovely post...first time here...and ROFL @ ur facebook mgs...some people!!

Mommy said...

just checking! :0)

the genius within said...

glad nothing untoward happened to you. at my place, we keep robbers cash..God forbid but its just in case money..can u
do i av a dirty mind? ur 2nd quirk, u lead me on..LOL

see u in cyberspace soon..thanks for stopping by my blog..take good care..

PS: adding u to my 'FBI' most wanted list..LOL

AlooFar said...

Now I want to stop being a passerby on this blog.


Charizard said...

God saved ur ass per ur fb account...someone has been toying with ur account...maybe someone phished your account or sth...

Charizard said...

P.S...amback on blogville so dont fret eyeh?

Funms said...

i miss lag...:(...
btw the fb stuff, its been happening to alot of people. send an email to d admin or sumthing.....

Anonymous said...

someone is using your account or u didnt log of!!!lagos dey dangerous o...i cant imagine how u felt within those few minutes

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

wow...this is serious...naija needs to change for real..How can someone be threatened by hoodlooms and be at their mercy, because there is no authority to curb such and even authority is corrupt and would extrort from you as well. Im so glad that traffic moved if not it willlbe a diifferent story..thank God for his small mercies..

about FB.. i think someone prolly has your password...try changng your password

and that facebook message was offensive.. I hope you cursed the fool out

OluwaDee said...

Anything fit happen 4 internet oh.
Princesa, 10k God 4 d bus driver behind you oh. Those yeye area boy would have done something terrible.

How body?

Mz. Dee said...

That was lyk criously close mahn!!
God rily lovez u!!
Bout ur fb thingy.. same thing happened to me last week.. i was wonderin wtf did that but then ure lyk the 3rd person whose complainin bout it.. maybe itz just fb being mad..

Calabar Gal said...

That was a lucky escape indeed princessa. I had an encounter with those guys on Oshodi before. Wouldnt wish a repeat on my worse enemy. They grabbed at my neck and made off with my necklace - and supposedly, the person who did that was selling items himself. It was such a shock.

anonymous gal said...

u see why i ahte lagu cant even enjoy ur heat in peace.

anonymous gal said...

thats hate

princesa said...

@teediva, thanks babe. Glad you like the matchbox 20 song. Its one of my favs!
@tears, glad you likey. Welcome to my blog.
@mommy, thanks for checking. I hope say you don do that post o!
@genius, lol@robbers cash! Those guys are our ogas really. FBI most wanted list?? I like the sound of that…thanks!
@aloofar, hello dude. Will like you to come more often
@charizard, phised ke? Wetin that one come mean na? Yipee! Glad u are back on blogville. My prayers worked.
@fums, yea despite the bad stuff and ish, Lag is still a great place!
@pink-satin, you are probably right dear.
@zephi, its really sad, the lack of security in this country. I don miss u well well.
@oluwadee, yes thank God. I dey fine o…how far with the weddie plans?
@mz.dee, yes really close. So the FB thing happened to u too? It may just be an internal error thing.
@calabargal, for real?!!! Glad it was just ur necklace o…and it was a hawker??? One never knows who to fear.
@anonymous gal, lol@enjoying ur heat in peace,lol!!!

Free-flowing Florida said...

lord! it's stories dat dis dat give me shivers abt relocating! God! what would i have done n d situation? no idea. i'd b too scared - i scare easily. hmm, thank God it ddnt get nasty dat day o.

i think someone is using ur fb. daz d only explanation.

meanwhile, i feel so guilty dat i took so long 2 come calling. i've update sha.

wellsbaba said...

ur so lucky but i alwais bliv luck is serviced n u did dat by not showin them u were scared but there are times those guys really do have weapons!