One hot night at Oshodi

It was a hot night and I was dead beat from a hectic day at work. Driving in traffic without air-conditioning didn’t make it any better too. I made a mental note to call my AC guy the following day to come check out what the problem was with the air-conditioning.

As we crawled in traffic, my mind drifted to other things. The clients I needed to call, the television and radio scripts I had to write, what I would have for dinner, blogs I was yet to read and so on.

The raspy voice broke into my thoughts and returned me to the present.
“Aunty find us something…”
I looked up to stare into the face of this rough looking young man, obviously a ‘Lagos area boy’. I quickly took in my environment and realised I was on top of Oshodi bridge(a place notorious for its area boys and thieves). When did we reach Oshodi? I thought.

My windows were wound down because of the bad air-conditioning and the tout was leaning against it almost breathing into my face.
“Äunty I say find us something…”
He wasn’t pleading. He was commanding me. I understood the situation perfectly. I had come in contact with his kind before and have also heard the experiences of others who have too. I knew it was only a matter of moments before he became even more aggressive. It was their style-obtaining by force!

Naturally, the first thought that came to mind was…girl, wound up the window quickly!
But then the young man was already leaning against the half open window and It wouldn’t be hard for him to stop the upward movement of the glass if I tried. I also remembered the gist Osi gave me about how during a similar encounter with these touts, she had succeeded in wounding up her windows only for them to smash the windows with a huge stone and finally make away with her bags and all the jewellery she had on while other road users looked on. Who would butt in ke? Everyone was scared for their own life!

I thought fast…what do I do now?

Just then another even rougher looking guy joined our mini- party. The both of them were obviously part of the same gang of ‘obtaining by force’ thieves.
“Mama…drop something for boys” Who be ur mama, devil punish you!
He even sounded less persuasive than the first guy.
“Calm down princesa”, I told myself. I couldn’t let them know how scared I was. That was the first rule- never show the enemy you are afraid- So, turning to the them with a fake smile plastered on, I said. “Ha...una come for wrong time o…no money dey now…next time abeg…”
Area boy 1 quickly retorted.
“Aunty find us something…abi you want make we show ourselves”
He moved his hands towards his waist.
Show ourselves?? Whatever did he mean by that? I didn’t want to find out o. I looked ahead, the damned traffic was not moving! I had to give them something but that would mean bringing up my bag and wont that be like the biggest mistake I could make? They were so close, all they would need to do would be to reach into my car and grab the bag with all its contents. Why wait for mere crumbs when they could have the whole loaf? That’s usually the way they reasoned. My bag was better left on the floor where it was safely hidden from their view.

My hands went to my pigeon-hole. I always kept spare change for the beggars in there.
I brought out the first note I felt in there, not even looking to see how much it was and handed it to the first guy.
He quickly grabbed it and peered at it.
“10 naira?!! This woman think say we dey play for here o” he said to his partner.
"Na 10 naira you dey give us enh?" He flung the N10 note at my face.
I picked up the money still smiling my fake smile.
Abeg manage am na…na wetin I get be dat”

From the corner of my eye, i could see the traffic had started moving, the car in front of me was moving ahead. Should I move the car, I thought. It would only be for a few metres and then they would catch up with me again, what then?
I was still holding my miserable looking N10 note and the area boys had this angry looks on their faces. This was the time when they are supposed to bring out the gun hidden under their belt or the knife in their pocket. Wasn’t it?

Paan…Paan…Paaaaaaaann!!!
The bus driver behind me was blaring his horn. He shouted something. It sounded like “Move now!!”
The boys looked startled. Exchanging a brief look, they moved. They moved away!
I couldn’t believe my luck. Quickly I put the car in gear, glancing in the side mirrors to see if they were gone for real. They were. I drove on murmuring thanks to my God and the driver behind me.

The windows were wound up now, I was hot yes but relieved. Tomorrow the A.C had to be fixed!

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Someone sent this in my face book inbox today.
"Love,please watsup love, i found you, you are my love i wish to have you as soon as possible, am dying in e call me (insert phone number) then you il make my dream come tru ;lol.but if you dont..........il'l break ya bone"

He probably thought it was funny...that last part about breaking my bone. i didn't find it funny at all. Which kain toasting be dat one??
Nonsense!

Another thing o
Visiting my facebook today, i was surprised to see so many strange things like...
princesa has added so and so as friends or princesa has joined so and so group.
My people, shock catch me o. Some of these people added as friends,i didnt even know!
I checked the time i was supposed to have done those things-9am.
9am i wasnt even online!
na wa o...does anyone understand this?
Pls i need some sort of explanation! I hope someone is not assessing my account o!
Nothing wey no fit happen for internet.

The morning of April 4th,1998

I typed this post last friday but couldn't post it cos i was out of the office for the best part of that day.

Anyway just incase you are wondering why the date reads 4th april. Dont worry you're not seeing double, i backdated it,lol!
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Fourth of April, 1998.
It’s a decade already but the events of that day are still very fresh in my mind. It’s not easy to forget negative experiences.

That day was a Saturday. It was the day me and my brother were going to write JAMB for the second time. For those who do not know, JAMB is like a compulsory examination which you have to sit for and pass before you can enter any of the universities in Nigeria.
My brother and I were taking the exam for the second time, not that we had failed the first attempt but the results of the center where we wrote that first JAMB exam had been cancelled for reasons best known to JAMB people.
So we had to write another JAMB exam and it was scheduled for Fourth April 1998.

The day broke normally. Nothing suggested that anything negative was going to happen. Unlike other Saturdays when we slept in as late as we wanted, we had to rise early to prepare for our exams that day. Our exam center was very far from where we lived at the time and we couldn’t afford to take chances with the Lagos traffic.

My mum voice woke us up that morning. She was always a light sleeper.
“See this children! Its 6.30am and you people are still sleeping enh? You have forgotten you have an exam today abi? Your mates are already at their exam centres and my own children are here snoring their life away…oya hanlele(get up quickly) from that bed and go get ready!”

I jumped out of bad and headed for the bathroom to take a quick shower.

I was coming out of the bathroom when I heard the noise. It was my mum shouting at the top of her voice.
“ COME AND OPEN THE DOOR O, SOME PEOPLE ARE HERE!!”
Her voice was coming from the direction of the front door to the house. I wondered why she was out there shouting for someone to open the front door when she knew we hardly opened that door. She could have come through the back door except maybe the people she was talking about were strangers. Then I wondered what kind of strangers would come visiting at 6.30am in the morning. It all seemed strange so I went to the sitting room to peep out of the window.
There she was, standing on the front porch with two strange looking men. She didn’t look like anything was wrong but there was something strange about the way she was screaming at the top of her voice for someone to open the door.
What I didn’t know then was that those men were men of the underworld, in simple speak-armed robbers and my mum was trying to alert those of us inside that something was wrong. I didn’t get her message but my dad did and he locked his door and hid in his toilet. Perhaps that was his saving grace, if those devils had met him, they may have killed him.

My instincts said not to open the front door so I decided to go through the back door and check what was really up. I was still clad in my towel. As I opened the back door to step out, there was my brother and my cousin being led back into the house by another strange looking man. I still didn’t immediately realize that they were armed robbers. I stood there at the door blocking their entrance and asked.
“What is happening? Who is this man??”

At that same moment, I saw it and froze. A gleaming black pistol was pointing at me.
The scratchy voice went.
“You better turn back inside before I blow out your brains!”
Jesus Christ!
I didn’t need another prompting. I quickly turned on my heels and led the entourage back into the house.
As we entered the sitting room, there was my uncle(My mum’s youngest brother who was visiting) peeping out of the window. He immediately turned towards us as we entered. The man who was behind us with the gun now barked “LIE DOWN ALL OF YOU!”
My uncle was the first to hit the floor. Now, Where are the men when you need them to be macho? lol!
Anyway, we all prostrated on the floor. He barked again.
“HIDE YOUR FACE, I NO WANT SEE ANY BODY EYES O!” I sneaked a look up. That was when I noticed that he had one eye. He really looked frightening!

That same moment, my mum was led into the sitting room by the other two men she was standing with earlier. They had gotten tired of waiting on the front porch and decided to come in through the back. There was another man too with them. Now they numbered four.

They pushed my mum to the floor as the one who appeared to be their leader asked.
“WEY THE HEAD OF THIS HOUSE?”
My mum replied.
“He is not at home”
“MADAM, YOU THINK SAY WE DEY PLAY? I SAY WEY THE HEAD OF THIS HOUSE??”
One of the men now pulled up my uncle from the ground.
“NA YOU BE THE HEAD OF THIS HOUSE ABI?”
My uncle was shaking terribly. He looked like he was going to piss in his pants any minute.
“No be me o! Abeg no be me…I be visitor”
“I SAY NA YOU GET THIS HOUSE! OYA IF YOU SAY NO BE YOU, WHERE THE PERSON DEY?”
I swear, if my mum didn’t cut in at that point my uncle would have blurted out that my dad was home. So she quickly butted in.
“Oga I don tell you say the person no dey house. Anything you want, we go give you abeg “
Their leader seemed to believe her so he signaled the other guy to leave my uncle who appeared very relieved as he quickly lay down on the floor again.

By now one of them led my youngest brother into the sitting room. He had been sleeping and still had that sleepy look about him. I didn’t think he fully realized what was going on.
One of them asked him.
“Where is your daddy’s room? Oya carry us go there”
My brother led him out. After a few minutes I could hear the banging on my dad’s door. The man was shouting.
“OPEN THIS DOOR OR I BREAK IT DOWN!!”
I wondered if my dad would open the door.
After another few minutes, they came back in. My brother and the man in tow. It looked like he finally accepted that my dad wasn’t home.
Then the one who looked like the leader barked at my mum.
“OYA WOMAN, WHERE IS THE ONE MILLION DOLLARS??”
I thought to myself.
How the hell did this devils think we had one million dollars in this house?? One million dollars?? Not even One million naira!
“ Please, we don’t have one million dollars in this house o!’ My mum pleaded.

“WOMAN YOU THINK SAY WE COME HERE TO PLAY ENH? AS YOU SEE US SO…NA REAL BUSINESS WE COME FOR O…THE PERSON WEY SEND US SAY WE FIT KPAI(kill) ANYBODY WEY WE WANT O…SO MAKE UNA JUST CO-OPERATE WIT US IF UNA NO WANT DIE. I SAY GO BRING THE ONE MILLION DOLLARS”

I wondered if we really had that kind of money in the house. Was there something I didn’t know?
My mum kept insisting there was no such money in the house and the men got more furious. The leader then hit her with the butt of the gun he was holding. I saw blood run down my mother’s head. The anger and fear I felt was incomprehensible, I trembled.
Then he pulled up my second brother. The one I was supposed to be writing JAMB with. The clock in the sitting room chimed almost at the same time. 7.30am! The devils had been around for 1 hour now.

He pointed his gun at my brother’s head and turned to my bleeding mum.
“AT THE COUNT OF 5, IF YOU NO BRING OUT THE ONE MILLION DOLLARS, I GO SHOOT DIS BOY…ONE..”
The man looked like he didn’t much prompting to kill.
My mum was crying now as she said “Please don’t kill him, we don’t have one million dollars but I’ll give you every thing we have…come follow me”
She got up and they filed out. The leader with his gun still pointed at my brother and another one of the robbers. They headed for my mum’s room.

We were left lying on the sitting room floor with the two other thieves. The one-eyed guy and another one who was bent on picking every thing he laid his eyes on. He had a big bag which he was throwing things into. He threw in the VCD remote control. As he made to throw the VCD player in, Mr. One eye who obviously was not in agreement with his colleague’s petty thievery stopped him.
“E never do?? Leave all those things jare…no be wetin we come for!”
I guessed he didn’t want to carry excess baggage. All he was interested in was the One Million dollars.
The other guy dropped the VCD player but he didn’t return the remote control. Idiot! Because of him, we didn’t have a remote control for that VCD after that day. Soon after, Mr. Petty Thief stepped out of the sitting room. He probably went to ransack our rooms and bags cos we later found out when they left that our things had been turned upside down, my cousin’s salary had been stolen, some of my brothers’ trousers and shirts were also missing.

So we lay there listening to the sounds and noise coming from the direction of my mum’s room. By the way, I was still clad in my towel and my cousin had this see through nightgown on. I wondered who looked more tempting (motivation to rape) to the robbers between the both of us. Thankfully, that was not part of their agenda cos they didn’t even seem to notice our semi nude outfits.
Occasionally we would raise our heads but there was always a ready kick to the head from Mr. One eye who stood guard over us.
After what seemed like a life time, they came back to the sitting room. My mum, my brother, and our masters-the armed robbers. One of them was carrying a travelling bag-my uncles’. That bag contained money…raw cash. It wasn’t one million dollars but it was a lot of money in naira. My uncle was a business man based in the east and was supposed to be traveling out of the country the next day for business. The money in the bag was to be changed to foreign currency later on in the day.
Till today, I still think those guys were tipped off by someone or maybe they trailed my uncle to our house.

As they came into the sitting room. The one who had been with us- Mr. One eye asked their leader.
“Una don get the dough?”
The leader opened the bag. It was filled with naira notes and the demented man said.
“This one na paper full am o!”
Imagine! Calling someone’s hard earned sweat, paper! I was disgusted.
The clock chimed 8am.
They had been here for an hour, 30 minutes now.
I looked at my mum. Her top was soaked with blood. The blood on her head seemed to have congealed; it wasn’t running down her head like before…thank God!

They hadn’t gotten One million dollars but they had gotten something and I guess they realized that was all they were getting so they bundled us all into the kitchen and locked us inside.
They also locked the main door from outside so there was no way for us to get out and they left.
My dad later opened the kitchen door and let us out. My mum was quickly rushed to the hospital and my brother and I had to hurry off to our JAMB exam venues.
We arrived late like halfway into the examination. I was mentally disorganized; I couldn’t concentrate on the paper in front of me. The events of that morning kept playing over and over in my mind. I was worried about my mum and wondered if she was okay. Everything was just crazy!
It was a surprise that I made a good result-far above the cut off mark.
Maybe God wanted to compensate me for the trauma I had passed through.

I pray we (me and you reading) never have to go through that kind of experience in our lives in Jesus’ name, Amen.