Showing posts with label Men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Men. Show all posts

Monday, July 21, 2008

Womanizer or not?


Scenario…

You are a fine girl…
Walking down the road one day…
This fine car pulls up beside you…
The glass wounds down to reveal this fine dude behind the wheels…
He asks “Care for a lift baby?”
You hesitate for a moment, but then he really looks harmless so you say…
“Sure why not!”and get in…
You chat briefly as he drives on and you think “He’s not just a fine face sha”
Anywayz, you exchange numbers just before you get off…
He calls later and you talk for a while…
You start talking on the regular and become friends after a while…
Soon, he starts talking serious…
He wants marriage, all the works…
You wonder if he is really serious…
Or just looking to score…

Quick question for the ladies.
Can you take a man who offered you a lift seriously?
Wouldn’t you think that if he stopped to offer you a lift, he is probably a womanizer who picks up every fine lady he sees on the road and maybe when you get married to him, he’ll still keep up with his hobby of helping damsels in distress??

I mean, if he stopped for you, he could also stop for any other fine girl, abi?
Your take guys?

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Get thee behind me!

I saw him walk into my office. There was no mistaking the height or build.
We embraced.


Him: Heeeey! It’s been a while…you’ve lost some weight and it is good!
Me: Yea a really long while. It’s been almost a year since I last saw you right?
Him: Yes…something like that. I saw your car outside while driving past and was wondering what you were still doing at work this late.
Me: Its only 7 and I had some work to tidy up. How is the family?
Him: They are fine. Mehn…you look very sexy! I never imagined you would look this good if you lost some pounds but you do!
Me: (Smiling) Thanks. You didn’t see me when I really lost the weight. Now I have packed on the pounds again
Him: Oh yea…you must have worked really hard. So what did you do?
Me: No big deal. Just dieting…you know watching what I eat and so on
Him: And it really worked! See how good you look, I could eat you up right now
Me: (laughing) Eat me ke! Abeg o!
Him: You refused to date me na. I don’t know what I did to you sef
Me: You are married, that’s what!
Him: You remember you told me to give you N5 million and you would date me for one year.
I had told him that last year when he kept bugging my life. The bugging stopped soon after that…I knew it would. Stingo!

Me: Of course I remember! So do you have the money now?
Him: Haba, sweetheart that is being materialistic now. It’s like I am paying you for your love…can’t you just love me from your heart?
Me: (lol! See this ewu can beer wey dey find osho free…nonsense!)Did you say love?? If I want love I know where to go for it…not with a married man!
Him: This babe you harsh o! Let me make you feel like a real woman
Me:??
Him: (making a fist) You know my thing…my thing is very big…really BIG. You see this your fine hips enh…that’s just what they need. I’ll….
Me: Abeg cut the crap, am leaving the office now. After you!

Get thee behind me all ye married men!

Friday, November 23, 2007

Inside the Men's Locker Room.

Ever wondered what the guys talk about when we are not around. Here is your chance to eavesdrop babes. I saw this stuff on askmen.com and decided to put it up for everyone to read.

Men Confess Why They're Breast Obsessed
What do model train sets and women's breasts have in common?
Well, both are intended for children, but it's the fathers that always end up playing with them.
They are nature's original milk jugs. Mounds of flesh that come in varying shapes and sizes and can be dressed in an endless array of fabrics and designs. They are breasts, and while their design is purely utilitarian, they have been worshipped by cultures around the world since the dawn of time. Whether you know them as sweater kittens, air bags or blouse bunnies, there's no debating that female breasts have an unusually prominent place in our society. What is the root of men's double-D-sized fixation? The answers might surprise you.

Men find breasts calming
In a linear world full of hard edges and harder realities, breasts are soft, welcoming and nonthreatening. With their obvious connection to breastfeeding, and by extension childhood, breasts remind us of our halcyon days when our mothers protected us from all the world's evils.

Breasts are a symbol of fertility
A-cup or Z-cup, breasts define femininity in the same way that channel surfing and participating in fantasy sports leagues define masculinity. Breasts hint at a woman's ability to nurture and sustain life. They also point to a woman's capacity to breed, as they signal the onset of puberty. It's for this reason that we can find Pamela Anderson's breasts alluring while we can be disgusted by Ned Beatty's floppy man tits in Deliverance.

It's a matter of natural selection
According to Charles Darwin and his theory of evolution, we subconsciously select partners who are healthy and appear capable of reproduction ‑- all of which explains why the frail Darwin had so much time to write books rather than go out on dates.
According to his research, men are attracted to bazooms (especially the more shapely variety) because they are indicative of a strong constitution and an ability to further propagate the species. Although reproduction is no longer our top priority, this instinct remains despite centuries of evolution (much like our own nipples).

Breasts are key in arousing women
Any good lover knows that a woman's breasts are closely connected to her primary libidinal zone. Therefore, another reason we like breasts is that we know if we handle these bikini stuffers properly, we can bring women to a state of heightened sexual arousal. Failing that, we can at least tell our friends we managed to get to second base.


Breasts are a home entertainment center
Who among us hasn't used a woman's breasts to play an engaging game of "Tune In to Tokyo"? More than just a milk delivery system, breasts are also a world of entertainment right at your fingertips. Let's face it: There's a reason why they're commonly known as "fun bags."


Men are stimulated visually
Unlike women, who can be aroused by reading a single passage in a Harlequin romance novel, men require visual stimulation. It's hardly surprising then that breasts, raised and perky as they often are, receive our obsessive attention. After all, apart from genitalia, breasts are a woman's most well-defined physical feature ‑- just ask Dolly Parton. Better yet, ask her bra salesman.

Societal pressure
Clearly, it's not all a matter of biology, particularly when you consider that humans are the only animals who include breast fondling as part of the mating process. Then again, we're also the only animals who use nipple clamps and sex swings, so perhaps comparing ourselves to other species is a bit rash. Therefore, let's turn our attention to society.One of the primary reasons we're breast obsessed is because society, and in particular Madison Avenue, encourages our fixation. Pick up any magazine, from Shape to even YM, and you're bound to see more cleavage than in the Grand Canyon. The same is true of bus ads, fashion catalogs and every other manner of marketing material. Breasts have spawned not only their own film and plastic surgery industries, but also their own restaurant chain (take that, testicles!). If advertising is powerful enough to make millions of people buy Pet Rocks, it's little wonder that it has the ability to keep knockers in our thoughts 24 hours a day.

Breasts have the allure of taboo
The erotic allure of breasts is further heightened by the fact these "glands for the hands" are supposed to be kept under wraps and away from view. As Jerry Seinfeld so adroitly pointed out, if women kept their heads covered instead of their breasts, we'd all be heading down to the corner store to pick up the latest copy of Heads Illustrated. We always want that which we cannot have, and in that regard, breasts are the ultimate forbidden fruit.

Keeping abreast of the issues
Men are often accused of speaking to a woman's chest rather than her face, but are we really to blame? Our attraction to these "prisoners of the Playtex penitentiary" is simultaneously physical, psychological and societal. Therefore, go out and celebrate the breast. In fact, go out and celebrate a pair of them. You'd be a boob not to.

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Guys,I have even more reasons to thank God. My younger brother (The one who lost his job in a bank sometime back has gotten another job in another bank with an even better pay (almost double his salary at his previous bank). Someone shout alleluia abeg…God has been really faithful to me and mine. Am grateful to all of you for ur prayers and goodwill too especially 36inches(for the effort you made girl).You are all wonderful peeps and I wont trade any of you for anything.

Have a lovely weekend everyone.

Princesa.










Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Am not evil o!

My last post generated quite some controversy. I got not a few uncomplimentary remarks. Some of the words used to describe my action were:”evil, wicked, senseless, stupid, crazy….”. Its okay, really I don’t mind. You all were only saying it how you felt it, so no wahala!

However, I’d like to say that I am not evil or wicked in anyway. Infact I’m very soft-hearted and kind though my actions on the Desperate E episode may not have shown this.
Maybe am wrong but I don’t feel sorry for what I did anyway, (Oya get ur stones ready and stone princesa,lol!). She asked for it by coming to warn me not to step out of my room and threatening me in the process. I guess my action was more like:
“Oya do your worst!” kinda thing.

Nevertheless am a lot older and wiser now and perhaps if it happened to me now, I’d probably just ignore her and let things be. Just incase the babe come turn Tyson on me, I don too old for rofu-rofu fight now abi?*wink*

I don’t intend for this post to be a ‘Part two’ of the previous one so make I stop here o! Lol!

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I stumbled on this somewhere on the net and thought to share. So Enjoy.

Sometimes when a man says something, it's not really what he means. Here are some of the real meanings behind their words!

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a real babe."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."


So babes, next time he says any of these, you know exactly what he means,lol!